Dont miss it..it will make your day

Discussion in 'Movies, Music & TV' started by cheapest, Jul 19, 2007.

  1. #1
    I think this is joke of the year. And I try to post more jokes in this thread. And you can read more funny jokes in my signature "joking"
    First read Mr. Singh Jr.

    The teacher asked,"Singh Jr. what is your problem ?"

    Singh Jr. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the
    third-grade and I'm smarter than she is ! I think I should be in the
    third-grade too !"

    Ms Neelam had enough. She took Singh Jr. to the principal's office. While
    Singh Jr. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
    principal what the situation was.
    The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed
    to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
    behave.
    She agreed.

    Singh Jr. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
    agreed to take the test.

    Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

    Singh Jr.: "9".

    Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

    Singh Jr.: "36".

    And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
    should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think
    Singh Jr. can go to the third-grade."

    Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.

    Can I ask him ?" The principal and Singh Jr. both agree.

    Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of ?"

    Singh Jr., after a moment "Legs."

    Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have ?"

    Singh Jr.: "Pockets."

    Ms Neelam: "What does a dog do that a man steps into ?"

    Singh Jr.: "Pants"

    Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,

    oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid ?

    Singh Jr.: Coconut

    Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And

    sticky ? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could

    stop the answer, Singh Jr. was taking charge.

    Singh Jr.: Bubblegum

    Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting

    down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open

    really wide and before he could stop the answer...

    Singh Jr.: Shake hands

    Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay ?

    Singh Jr.: Yep.

    Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
    get wet before you do.

    Singh Jr.: Tent

    Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're

    bored. The best man always has me first.The Principal was

    looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

    Singh Jr.: Wedding Ring

    Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
    me, you feel good.

    Singh Jr.: Nose

    Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
    quiver.

    Singh Jr.: Arrow

    Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
    heat and excitement ?

    Singh Jr.: Firetruck

    Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it
    u have to use ur hand.

    Singh Jr.: Fork

    Ms Neelam: What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same
    as intercourse?

    Singh Jr.: TALK

    Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have, it's longer on some men
    than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
    after they're married ?

    Singh Jr.: SURNAME

    Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
    veins, likes pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

    Singh Jr.: HEART.

    The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

    "Send Singh Jr. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong
    myself !"
     
    cheapest, Jul 19, 2007 IP
    max pain likes this.
  2. sunilvarma

    sunilvarma Peon

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    #2
    read this before, good one anyways. :)
     
    sunilvarma, Jul 19, 2007 IP
  3. drpepper

    drpepper Well-Known Member

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    #3
    same here..read this somewhere but its always good!
     
    drpepper, Jul 19, 2007 IP
  4. shimon33

    shimon33 Peon

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    #4
    Give me something better yo
     
    shimon33, Jul 19, 2007 IP
  5. kirpy

    kirpy Member

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    #5
    Thank you for sharing this is really so funny! :)
     
    kirpy, Jul 19, 2007 IP
  6. zebno

    zebno Well-Known Member

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    #6
    LOLZz....nice collection!
     
    zebno, Jul 19, 2007 IP
  7. cnhnyu

    cnhnyu Peon

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    #7
    Thank you . It is really so funny !
     
    cnhnyu, Jul 19, 2007 IP
  8. tarponkeith

    tarponkeith Well-Known Member

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    #8
    i've seen bits of it before, but nice post, thanks
     
    tarponkeith, Jul 19, 2007 IP
  9. Strictly Bizness

    Strictly Bizness Peon

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    #9
    it was kind of long so I was hoping the punchline would have been a bit more potent but I caught a few chuckles so thats all that matters lol....

    cheers!
     
    Strictly Bizness, Jul 19, 2007 IP
  10. Mxhub

    Mxhub Active Member

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    #10
    LOL!! thanks for sharing.
     
    Mxhub, Jul 19, 2007 IP
  11. BLaZeR

    BLaZeR Peon

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    #11
    Lol nice, not funny har har though :\.
     
    BLaZeR, Jul 19, 2007 IP
  12. ascend

    ascend Banned

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    #12
    that was good.... thanks for sharing.. it was really funny...
     
    ascend, Jul 20, 2007 IP
  13. cheapest

    cheapest Active Member

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    #13
    Thanks for good replies here is one for today


    A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.


    The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke,"
    and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.


    A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be
    $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.


    The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."
    The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.


    This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.


    "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.
    "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."


    Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.
    "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"


    "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp.
    When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."


    "That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something,
    but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"


    "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.


    The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"


    The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs & a big ass who agrees with everything I say!!!!!!!!!"
     
    cheapest, Jul 20, 2007 IP
  14. rightit

    rightit Well-Known Member

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    #14
    Good, not bad. Keep it up.
     
    rightit, Jul 20, 2007 IP
  15. Dzuster

    Dzuster Banned

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    #15
    nice one! haha thanks for sharing :D
     
    Dzuster, Jul 20, 2007 IP
  16. cryxellis

    cryxellis Banned

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    #16
    Hahaha:D that Singh Jr. is he really a grade schooler? I mean the way he answers those question. His really funny and innocent too. ^_^
     
    cryxellis, Jul 20, 2007 IP
  17. cheapest

    cheapest Active Member

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    #17
    here is today's joke....

    An Indian was travelling in a train in Pakistan, along with his
    pregnant wife. A few Pak army officers were also travelling in the same compartment.

    As every body knows ,the pakis think they are a little too smart and
    also try to show their superiority in all aspects,they tried to act little smart
    and embarass the Indian.They thought at the same time, it would be a good
    time-pass too. So, one of them went and sat beside the man.

    The Smart officer asked the man, "Are u an Indian?????" .

    "Yes", the man replied proudly.

    The officer then said, "Is ur wife pregnant???? "

    "Yes", replied the man. He was a bit annoyed by the question as it was
    obviously
    visible that his wife was pregnant and the officer still asked
    that question. But he kept quiet. Now, the officer thought it was time
    to
    have
    some fun.

    He asked the Indian, "If it is a boy, what would u like him to be?????"

    "I'd make him a Software Engineer", the man said proudly.

    "What if it is a girl ????" asked the officer.

    "I'd make her a doctor", the man replied.

    Now, the officer gave the man a naughty grin and said, "What if it is
    neither a
    boy nor a girl?"

    Now the smart Indian realised the whole point of this officer speaking
    to
    him.
    He realized that these officers were trying to embarass him so he
    decided to
    give it back to them.

    He thought for a second, returned the same naughty smile back to the
    officer and said, "In that case, he will join the Pakistan army......."
     
    cheapest, Jul 20, 2007 IP
  18. boomer03

    boomer03 Peon

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    #18
    What's orange and sounds like a parrot?





























    A Carrot! :D
     
    boomer03, Jul 20, 2007 IP
  19. cryxellis

    cryxellis Banned

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    #19
    hahahaha:D

    awesome ^_^ that was great, but I think the guy is really stupid. He can ask for millions and then have his own chick through his money. Really stupid.
     
    cryxellis, Jul 21, 2007 IP
  20. mgware

    mgware Peon

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    #20
    Man! the north-americans don't have sense of humor! this jokes are long and baaaaad
     
    mgware, Jul 22, 2007 IP