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do you give second chances

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by jwyatt76, Jul 2, 2011.

  1. Banners Mall

    Banners Mall Peon

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    #41
    Yes, I'll give a second chance.
     
    Banners Mall, Jul 27, 2011 IP
  2. linkmoko

    linkmoko Peon

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    #42
    I also give second chances to the person. If she/he worthy to receive it.
     
    linkmoko, Jul 27, 2011 IP
  3. seo-work

    seo-work Greenhorn

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    #43
    I used to forgive if they commit mistakes
     
    seo-work, Jul 27, 2011 IP
  4. shyamasrisen

    shyamasrisen Peon

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    #44
    always i want to give second chance..but not third chance................
     
    shyamasrisen, Jul 27, 2011 IP
  5. james2007

    james2007 Peon

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    #45
    yes.. i will give him/her a second chance...
     
    james2007, Jul 27, 2011 IP
  6. missgeorge

    missgeorge Member

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    #46
    everybody deserve a second chance. I always give the second chance but i will not trust them 100% again.
     
    missgeorge, Aug 3, 2011 IP
  7. ayushi infotech

    ayushi infotech Peon

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    #47
    its good for forgive all mistake .everyone do mistake its human being .... just advice that person.....

    i-forgive-you.jpg
     
    ayushi infotech, Aug 4, 2011 IP
  8. ContentWizard

    ContentWizard Peon

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    #48
    Depends on the degree of the mistake made, how deep your relationship with him is, and the sincerity of the apology. You should always forgive people when they say sorry. Forgive but don't Forget! Learn.
     
    ContentWizard, Aug 4, 2011 IP
  9. imolly

    imolly Peon

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    #49
    Yes, if I like ....
     
    imolly, Aug 4, 2011 IP
  10. exia_cs

    exia_cs Peon

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    #50
    yess everyone to!!!
     
    exia_cs, Aug 5, 2011 IP
  11. davidmichal

    davidmichal Member

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    #51
    of course, i forgive and give second chance ...
     
    davidmichal, Jan 17, 2012 IP
  12. ironic

    ironic Member

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    #52
    I suppose I usually forgive but not forget. I give people a lot of chances, to the point that I have been called naive for doing so. However, when someone pushes me past a certain point, they don't get anymore chances and I remove them from my life. The most important thing for me is to not let other people's actions upset me to the point where it affects how I live my life!
     
    ironic, Jan 17, 2012 IP
  13. tomcthomas

    tomcthomas Peon

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    #53
    Yes i can forgive because we are human beings.Mistakes are always happened in our life.If we not forget others mistakes they don't do like us.
     
    tomcthomas, Jan 19, 2012 IP
  14. DSF

    DSF Member

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    #54
    Extremely rarely; although it completely depends on the situation.

    1. Outright betray me and take for granted my altruism and generosity, someone I love, or fuck with my money? If not speaking to you again is ALL that happens, we can both count ourselves lucky. Quick and sure-fire way to get a perma-shitlist ticket.

    2. A moderate-to-severe incident with an apology being offered before I confront them, or understandable circumstances, depending on how close the person is to me, I'll still associate with them... With an obvious change in demeanor and trust level, and it takes a LONG time to get my trust back after an incident that warrants that much discretion... Could be months, could be several years. If "forgiving" means "forgetting", I don't know that I have ever forgiven someone for an incident bad enough. I'll offer my forgiveness (with conditions), and tell them all is cool as long as it doesn't happen again, but I can never completely forget it happened, and I can't say there wouldn't be times when the recollection of the incident played on my subconscious even after I forgave them.
    If it happens a second time? See reaction #1

    3. Minor shit? I'll forgive a couple times, with an obvious and semi-permanent (they have to work to earn the trust back) change in my demeanor when dealing with them. I'll also have my eye out for the slightest indication of the relationship going south.
    If it's minor enough, I may overlook it completely on a type of "risk:reward" analysis basis.


    The reason I'm such a hardass about being forgiving is because I'm one of the most generous, honest, and caring people you'll ever meet. As anyone with a personality like that knows; there have been times when you've been taken advantage of repeatedly, and there was (hopefully already) a point when you said "Screw this... No more". You don't alter your characteristics, you just learn to cut loose people who betray your trust.


    Here's 2 quick examples... Both friends of about the same degree who I was mentoring and making them lots of money at no personal gain (giving them methods of mine that I didn't use much, designing landers for them, hooking them up with the right people, showing them the ropes and being their "right hand man" at every moment except when that payment was remitted to them; as I was helping them out to help them out, not to help myself):

    Friend 1 I'd been mentoring him for several hours per day for a few months... Got him from basically nothing to a consistent $300-400/day online. Then, he decides to copy my landing page for the product I was pushing 100% without asking (I would have let him use it had he asked), and knowing that I had strong feelings about that behavior. Not only did he do that, he started promoting on a small site that was one of my primary ones and that I had specifically asked him not to touch (even found him dozens of alternatives, coded him utilities for them, etc)

    Long story short, he lost both his revenue stream (which I played a part in) and the one person he knew could get it back; his mentor and friend... myself. Never contacted him again.

    Some time last year, he messaged me on Skype asking for another chance, as he was failing miserably in his attempts to profit online... In a nutshell, I told him to figure it out himself. You abuse a resource, and that resource disappears.


    Friend 2 Had been mentoring him for 6-8 months... Maybe 800 or so hours put into helping him (as well as some no-terms cash to help him out at times). I've got him around a steady $500/day from the $30-50 he was making. He didn't bust ass or realize his full potential as much as I'd like him to, but he's only hurting himself, and it's not my place to tell him how hard to work.

    I see his earnings start to drop off, which I am confused by, as I am giving him the knowledge to vastly increase them (as had been the outcome up until this point). I end up talking with him and after a while, find out he'd been ignoring a large portion of my advice and input and doing things his own way without running them by me.

    Anyone who I mentor is told, even before we get into details, that if I'm spending my time to help you make good money at no benefit to myself, ALL I ask is that you follow my directions. There's a reason I'm the one doing the mentoring. I am always 100% open to them questioning my tactics, asking why it should be done my way and not theirs (and sometimes we decide theirs may be better), etc.

    If you want to go out on a limb and try something, even if I'm sure it will fail, go for it! Just run it past me first. I'll give you my input and thoughts on it, and we see what happens. If you fail, we'll discuss in depth WHY you failed, so that you can learn from it. If you succeeded, congrats, you just got a new technique that is likely exclusive to you. I'm sure not piggybacking on your successes, and no one will ever hear a peep about your methods from me.
    We can't learn without failure, nor can we have the potential for success without taking risks and experimenting.

    But don't ask me to mentor you if you're going to absorb or utilize 20% of it.


    Anyway, months and months invested into this guy... I've played a huge role in making him a large amount of cash and teaching him a skill-set that can keep him self employed and potentially rich for life, again, asking nothing in return because I do it out of the kindness of my heart.

    I was understandably frustrated / disappointed (more so at him for wasting his potential than I was about him wasting my time), said what I had to say, let him know that I won't continue to help someone who won't be upfront with me, and he apologized. No harm, no foul. We got him back on track (I think I eventually got him to $750ish/day before setting him loose -- knowing I'm always there for help) and it was never mentioned again. He made a conscious effort to fix what he had screwed up, and he worked extra hard to get back on track.

    He screwed up a few more times, but it was all understandable... Never harbored any harsh feelings towards him, and with my help and his own hard work, he's still earning a very nice income online to this day via the skills I taught him.





    I don't see it as me taking an irrational stance in either situation, but who knows. In both situations, it solved the problem. Friend 1 lost it all while Friend 2 got richer.
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2012
    DSF, Jan 19, 2012 IP
  15. uyejv

    uyejv Peon

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    #55
    Yes and no - It depends on the situation.
     
    uyejv, Jan 19, 2012 IP
  16. heybro

    heybro Peon

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    #56
    No I don't. If once happened, probably will again.
     
    heybro, Jan 19, 2012 IP
  17. smileverse

    smileverse Peon

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    #57
    If there is a good and acceptable reason then will give the 2nd or unlimited chances. But, will look into the issue from others side too.
     
    smileverse, Jan 27, 2012 IP
  18. X P S

    X P S Well-Known Member

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    #58
    sometimes I do, sometimes I don't!
     
    X P S, Feb 5, 2012 IP
  19. rysth13

    rysth13 Peon

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    #59
    I can give the second chance if the person deserves it.
     
    rysth13, Jul 29, 2012 IP
  20. donnadonny

    donnadonny Peon

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    #60
    maybe I will, but to forgiveness?? it's so hard !
     
    donnadonny, Jul 29, 2012 IP