Kalvin - I honestly think you are really naive if you think that you can 100% guarantee that you can protect your child. You explained it really well Samantha, I think that people who haven't been through it, or had a close friend or relative deal with this stuff, just don't get how innocent it can all seem to start with. As much as we want to protect our children, and even if we raise them to be assertive and safety savvy - the fact is that there are still wankers in the world who deserve to have their balls chopped off. Yep - that must be the minister's wife in me...
I hope you don't think that I mean to not try! You go for it Kalvin By all means do your best! Just that if something goes haywire, there is no use blaming yourself, or worse blaming the child.
I told my oldest kid last month - either he makes me a grandfather, and I mean quick, or I'm gonna make him a brother again. And coming from me he considers this a very real threat. Babies are the best!!!
If you want to get on the technical side of things, research the bending of space and space/time correlation and then ask yourself the question about free will. It will keep you wondering for hours.
What orbit did come from? You know, sooner or later you've got to get over yourself. You've got to keep on. Wait a minute! I'm sorry. I get it. Well, sometimes it actually does work. But always for the things you think would not as opposed to the things you think that would, that don't. Children are full of wonderful surprises.
If your parents just had the simple rule "phone numbers first" then this whole situation would have been avoided. You didn't have his phone number. Your parents didn't have his phone number. You just liked him and trusted him because he made you feel good. Heck even a simple "don't get in a car with people we havn't met" would have sufficed. As it was your parents didn't really seem to set guidelines about things that needed to happen before you could be alone with someone. It was avoidable. Your parents should have planned on picking you up from the party if they knew you didn't have a ride. If you had gotten and verified his phone number and his parents' phone number and gave them both to your parents he wouldn't have laid a hand on you. As it was you didn't know who he was or where he lived so he figured he could get away with it. I'm guessing they got him because of all the witnesses that knew what he looked like. I get the impression that people think that it's either locked up in a room or no rules at all since you "can't protect them 100% anyway." How hard is it to demand to meet people before you let your kid hang out with them? And yet that would prevent a lot of dangers that kids face. Think about it, would you let your favorite pet be alone with people you don't know? At yet parents think it's fine to be oblivious to who their kids are hanging out with. What's really sad is that you've been convinced that this was somehow your fault. Your parents had so many simple things they could have done and should have done as parents that would have prevented this. They failed as parents and it's terrible that they've let you believe it was your fault for 10 years. Let me try it this way, What rules did your parents put in place that you didn't follow? Did you do anything that night that your parents told you not to do?
The rules set by parents are necessary so other humans in society can be free as well. If those rules are not followed from young you can end up being a criminal!! lol.. Human has a free will, else there would be nothing called bad, evil!! ..:: peace ::.. Jeba
What does that have to do with anything? Just because you predictably do things doesn't make what you do necessarily good. Child predators predictably go after children. Are you going to argue that what they do is not evil because they've got something wrong in the head? There was recently a story of a girl who would run away from home. One day she ran away and the police found her dead body. Nobody knew who she was because nobody had filed a missing person report. It wasn't until a few days later that she was recognized. Bad parenting leads to bad things happening to kids. Parents would rather believe they have no control over their kids and blame the kids though. If that mother had provided a loving environment for her child the kid wouldn't have run away or if she did, there would have been an amber alert or at least a missing person report. Obviously the kid felt her mom didn't care about her and it seems she was right.
i dont think you are reading anything i posted, he got 20 years for attempted murder and a string of other related offences, the party was at a Diplomaic residence, there were cops there, it was not your run of the mill teenage rave, it was a party for the kids of the Diplomats, it was a safe place. my invite said i can bring a date, as he walked in right behind me, they assumed he was my date, as he started to talk to me as soon as we got in the place, nothing looked unsual, Taxi's were ordered but there was up to 3 hours waiting time for one, new years eve is a busy time for taxi's given the fact that people were invited so all were known, i didnt see anything wrong it taking the offer of a lift home from someone that was invited, sadly, he wasnt known and he was a gate crasher, people just thought he was with me, and i thought he was invited, neither was the case. although i was told i can have 2 drinks, i only drank orange juice, i didnt do anything wrong, i took a lift home from someone that was invited to a party at a Diplomatic residence, so in my eye's someone that was known, was a Diplomats son, and so safe to be with, not once did he say anything or do anything that put me on gaurd, except when he kissed me, i had never been kissed by a boy before, that was more of an unexpected suprize than horror or fear. i had never been alone with boys before, so i didnt know what boys are like, and to have the attention of a guy for so long and felt so at ease with him, it was nice, i was a gymnast, i worked out 4-6 hours a day doing rutines in the gym, i had no breasts, i hadnt started my periods, i didnt even know what they were till i had one at 17. i was allowed 1 hour TV a day, gym in the day time, and studies at night, no time to make friends, if i made any, we were soon parted, thats the life when you have to move from country to country year in year out. i blame a lot of people and yes also myself, i am free now, i am the girl i want to be, i am a free spirit and i love doing what i do.
See but the point is, your parents failed to offer even the most basic of safety precautions. They just kept you locked up. They didn't do their job and teach you how to protect yourself in the real world. They just kept you away from it entirely. You made assumptions because you didn't know any better. Your parents didn't give you the tools that would have allowed you to make assumptions but still be safe. You could have assumed that he was fine and obviously everything you could have known pointed to that, however if your parents had made any of a number of simple rules such as: 1) don't be alone with anyone we can't contact 2) don't be alone with anyone we havn't met 3) don't take rides from people we don't know 4) we'll pick you up, don't bother with trying to find a ride or getting a taxi 5) if you decide to get a ride, call us first and let us know who you're getting a ride from and how we can contact them Any of those simple nonobtrusive rules would have prevented what happened and not hindered your ability to get to know the guy. It's not your fault your parents failed to give you the tools to keep you safe. A lot of girls get on-line and start posting their personal information. Some of them end up hurt or worse. It's because the parents failed to inform their kid of some simple rules and enforce them. It's really not that hard to explain how the rules I listed are for your own safety. And only then if you break those rules, is it your fault. When we were dating my wife got mad at me once and decided to give her number to some random guy that was trying to talk to her on instant messenger. I had told her it was a bad idea. She did it anyway. The guy turned out to be a creep and she had to call me up to tell me to make him go away. Fortunately all he had was a number and he lived way out of state. I called him, told him to stop calling her and he went away. If I had known better but didn't say anything to her, it would have been my fault. But, I knew better and I told her so it was her fault she had a short run in with a creep. As it is, you didn't break any rules therefore it's not your fault in the least.
Human got Free Will and I beleive that, its other people who make Human slave. Human are only one who got free will on this Planet