I mean com on, I am in a situation where I am loving someone who don't, we all have been there once, any past experience, did you ever got the once you stalked. by the way I don't mean massive stalking like the movies, I mean obsessive love.
Ah, obsessive love, when it just huts too much to let go. Listen, I've been there several times and honestly it's not leading anywhere. If you need to control your partner and know every single thing about her, such as where does she goes, and with who does she spends her time, you're obsessive then. If you want to change that person in order to turn it the way you like I'll have to say that you're obsessive. I'm sure that you felt jealousy and depression for some absurd reason, for example,if that person spends more time with friends meeting new people. You have to ask yourself, why is that so? When it comes to obsessive love, obsessive lovers are people that have low self-confidence and that people tend to be obsessed with their object of desire and have unreal fantasies about it. For example you might be obsessed about a girl that smiled to you once on the street and have unreal fantasies that she wants you as her lover. Besides low self-confidence another reason is strong desire to belong to someone and to be needed. Therefore obsessive lovers fear that they will be rejected and they tend to control the other person, just not to get rejected or hurt. If obsessive person doesn't feel needed it feels worthless. Why do people have the urge to belong so desperately? You'll need to analyze yourself and your past experiences to find out, but if you were left alone and felt worthless during your teen or childhood days that could be it. Like I said, I'm obsessive myself and trust me, obsession destroys the relationship, besides the jealousy. I still have strange fantasies that I'll get back with my partner and tend to check on her often. And now when my ex is completely ignoring me and when she has ended every contact with me, I feel that I can move on, perhaps. But yes, I'm still obsessive. Bottom line, if you love someone, don't try to control them, and don't try to change them. Let them be free, let them be what they really are. If you try to chain them to you, you will make it even worse. Don't feel that you'll get rejected or hurt, even if that happens you can just move on. Just don't ever try to be obsessive. I don't know cure for obsession, but you can just hope to find the right person for you, that you won't have to control or change. If you can't accept your partner the way she is than it's probably not meant to be. Sources: Enough obsessive relationships over the past years.
You are a wise man, I think I will take the choice you said by letting her be free, and hope that she come to me without me controlling her or motivating her, but I really feel abandoned when she don't talk to me, I am trying my best to be happy and stop worrying, it's not working out but at least it holds me a little from disturbing her life.
Having someone obsess over you is not attractive or appealing, it does not soften your heart towards that person. You simply lose all respect you may have had for that person, and they become less and less attractive to you. having someone obsess over you does not feel good, it makes you wonder what is so wrong about yourself that makes you irresistible to nutters..
Oh that's so bad, so how can I hide it and get respect ??, because I think I am obsessed and showing it....