Can some copywriters critique my sales copy http://specialarticleprofits.com/ Plz, post only constructive criticism.
Good design. 3 suggestions. 1] Who are you? No mention of your personal details or even a pic despite involving yourself in the copy. 2] Your 2 days with the editor part is unbelievable [For me atleast]. Is he sitting around, schooling rejected writers and teaching people how to get approved? 3] List the price.
I think all the errors in your copy (grammar, etc) could work in your favor, because your main pitch is that you're not that smart, you're not a great writer and you're still making money. The biggest thing you can do to this copy is add true testimonials (audio/video is a plus here). Good luck.
To be honest, there are lots of mistakes in your copy. I had a spare 5 minutes so I've done a version with corrected grammar. (Well, hopefully correct. I did it quickly so I may have missed things.)
Your copy isn't believable. You say you managed to get paid $400+ for some articles, but the way your sales copy is written, I don't believe a print publication would publish you or pay you. Either (or both) of these things would make your story more believable. 1) If the story itself was better written. You're obviously using the storytelling method in this sales copy, so you should use some storytelling skills. For example, I picked this sentence because it was bold and stood out: "There was a small ad in that magazine which changed my life completely." You could have said it better, "A tiny ad in the back of the magazine changed my life in a big way." Then, instead of "The Magazine Wanted Contributors And In Return They Would Pay You Good Money" put the actual text of the ad. Format it in courier and center it. If it had such a dramatic impact on your life, you should remember it. Even better, if you have the ad, scan it and place the image in the copy. That's just one example, the entire copy is an opportunity for improvement. 2) You could prove that you'd been published in these magazines (unless the articles were ghostwritten) - if you can't give us a link or an image of the article, at least put the name of the magazine, the issue, publication date, title of your article, and pages it appeared on. If you expect people to buy what you're selling, you need to back up your claim.
The site looks like a cheap hack the bright colors and the cheap dollar bill clip art would have me click the close button right away. But I read on. Bright yellow to red to blue different font and colors seemed like a really bad TV commercial was turned up to high I had to reread to see what was written. It hurts my head. OK I got the point you want people to send money when I first opened the page, for why? For a writing secret? From someone who hacks out one junky page on a horrible ghetto ass template? You make $500 an article and your site looks like that?.. Come on.. To be honest it looks like scribbles on a public bathroom stall. Not trying to be a jerk that is just the impression it gives me.
I think for your audience the clip art won't hurt. It would for others but not this audience. It could use some subheads to pull out good points. I think the time with the editor is unreal so I had doubts (someone already said this). Make it real. And put the price in there. You'll be surprised at how many people you lose because you did not put the price on it. Emily did you a very nice favor. But copy and paste it into word if you have it since she did it on the fly. That will catch any other errors and it was a thoughtful gesture. I tend to miss errors myself. I'm creative first and the I go back and do the grammar part. And I have a degree in journalism. The creative part just comes so fast and furious, I have to get it on paper with typos and all. It's like a dam breaking. So I always have to clean it up after. Which I do, of course.
Sorry, I don't have that kind of free time. Others have posted a lot here for you to do. Keep working at it. If all else fails, hire a pro to either rework what you have to do it all from scratch. Good Luck
Lots of grammatical errors + non-believable time limits for ordering. Also never sell with negativity - you are accusing your potential customers of being negative: "Don't let your bad attitude make you lose this opportunity.". Influence with stories and positive encouragement. A "broke to financially free" story always does the trick (if it is true and believable) as well as "I just stumbled upon this accidentally and made myself financially free, and so can you..." Change the copy and split test the original one with the improved one. Keep the best performing one, improve it and test again. You can test and drive traffic with ppc, just make sure you improve your site score - squeeze pages (I do this too) and straight sales pages are usually more expensive on ppc.