Critique Me And Earn Good Karma :)

Discussion in 'Reviews' started by dericf, Jan 22, 2007.

  1. #1
    Dear friends,

    I have just set up my very first squeeze page -

    http://www.caseinterviews.com/squeeze.html

    My customers are MBA students who are seeking jobs in the management consulting industry. The interviews that they get are often business-case based, and I am writing guides to help them ace those interviews.

    Any critique of the squeeze page would be greatly appreciated - what works, what doesn't, improvement areas. Thanks very much! :)

    Deric
     
    dericf, Jan 22, 2007 IP
    Akaneon.com likes this.
  2. CountryBoy

    CountryBoy Prominent Member

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    #2
    Wo - as soon as I saw that I thought "that's someone trying to sell some dodgy ebook or money making scheme". It's the big bold font and the highlighted and underlined words - as if you are trying to sell your service too hard. Just my opinion. As far as site design goes it isn't very inspired either - lighten it up, put some frames, images and real content on there. Just my suggestion, and no offence meant.
     
    CountryBoy, Jan 22, 2007 IP
    Daz likes this.
  3. Daz

    Daz Guest

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    #3
    What he said.
    You're just overdoing it, to me it looks like someone trying to get me into buying something quickly without being too serious about it.
    I really cant do anything more than emphasis on exactly what countryboy said :) (+rep)
     
    Daz, Jan 22, 2007 IP
  4. Janeth

    Janeth Active Member

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    #4
    You are trying to sell a book but give very little information about the book you are trying to sell.

    You should at lest try and make the page create a desire in the visitor by telling me how much better my life would be if I owned your book.
     
    Janeth, Jan 22, 2007 IP
  5. iulian

    iulian Peon

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    #5
    Look like a pop-up window and the red colour seems to warning a danger, my opinion.
     
    iulian, Jan 22, 2007 IP
  6. ThePirate

    ThePirate Peon

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    #6
    I disagree because I KNOW this type of simple approach can work wonders, there are after all a finite number of web savvy DP users and an infinite (well nearly) number of total idiots using the web.

    I'd get on clickbank and look at the sales letter pages their seller use because there is more copy and a definite pattern / flow to them to get best results.
     
    ThePirate, Jan 22, 2007 IP
  7. MTbiker

    MTbiker Well-Known Member

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    #7
    I don't like how the signup box and bulleted list are beside each other. They're competing for my attention. I'd have everything flow straight down the page.

    Like some others said, the page doesn't say much about the book and target customer. Unless every person that sees the page is an MBA student looking for a job (at that instant) I'm betting people will disregard it. I know some MBA students that are older and not tech-savvy, and this page might work for them, but I know some younger guys that don't like those sales pages at all.

    To ThePirate - hopefully these MBA students aren't total idiots ;)
     
    MTbiker, Jan 22, 2007 IP
  8. autorave

    autorave Peon

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    #8
    sign up box should be at the bottom of the page after the text. There's no where to go after reading the text and readers will feel obligated to sign up.
     
    autorave, Jan 22, 2007 IP
  9. dericf

    dericf Peon

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    #9
    Thanks guys, really appreciate your comments!

    Net, my takeaways are:

    1. 'Tone down' the copy ie remove the bold and the underline formatting.
    2. The fact that the book is free is somehow lost in the (short) copy (comments by Daz and Janeth above).
    3. The signup box should follow the short copy of the benefits of the book so that there is flow in the page.

    Thanks to all those who responded. Anything else?
     
    dericf, Jan 23, 2007 IP
  10. spiderroost

    spiderroost Guest

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    #10
    you need to work with font style.contents are not proper.
    your colour combination is not proper.
    try to use some cool colours. i m not much impressive with your work.
     
    spiderroost, Jan 23, 2007 IP
  11. AndrewCavanagh

    AndrewCavanagh Member

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    #11
    I would suggest you might get a better response if the first word on your page is FREE.

    eg.
    FREE Ebook The Surefire Way To Nail ANY Guesstimate Or Market Sizing Question

    Maybe followed by:
    Warning: Don't Attempt Another Case Interview Without Reading This Book

    I'd also reduce the size of those headline fonts down and tone down the page a little.

    You want to be just a little more conservative to inspire confidence.

    Kindest regards,
    Andrew Cavanagh
     
    AndrewCavanagh, Jan 23, 2007 IP
  12. AndrewCavanagh

    AndrewCavanagh Member

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    #12
    The page design is probably okay (it is a tested opt in page design) but the only way to know for sure is to split test one design against another and see which brings in the most sign ups.

    Here's a sample of a rough but less agressive looking optin page in the same style as yours...
    http://www.copywriting1.com/LearnAmericanSignLanguageFast.htm

    Kindest regards,
    Andrew Cavanagh
     
    AndrewCavanagh, Jan 23, 2007 IP
  13. Zerosleep

    Zerosleep Established User

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    #13
    For me there is 1 more scope of improvement for your site i.e You could have Explained something more about the Book and why You wanna sell it
    Nothing else
     
    Zerosleep, Jan 23, 2007 IP
  14. JKhoury

    JKhoury Well-Known Member

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    #14
    Yeah I'd have to agree with a few of the comments posted here. It looks like those overly-hyped e-books that are almost always a complete waste of money (not saying yours is).

    You need to find another way to advertise this to your users. Be innovative, rather than opting for the usual sales letter. I know, I know, much easier said than done.

    Good luck :)
     
    JKhoury, Jan 23, 2007 IP
  15. Kassi

    Kassi Peon

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    #15
    Two much of bold still, you are not using spacing properly.
     
    Kassi, Jan 24, 2007 IP