Coronavirus

Bloody coronavirus just wiped out 20% of my investments, bread and water for tea tonight

 

Please, let us not play holier than thou. We all know that you have profited big time from the Corona panic by selling tens of thousands of your tinfoil hats. You sir, are little better than the rest.

 

Stop confusing the followers of this thread with facts. I will be happy to ship you a free tinfoil hat if you stop.

I love tea! Having a cup of PG Tips right now, in fact. And, if my low-carb diet allowed it, would love to have a piece of bread with it. Hard to see how you will be suffering tonight. Suck it up.

 

There have been ugly Youtube videos circulating about your baked potato model hat catching fire. So I want the deluxe toilet paper dispenser model if you please.

 

Done and the Youtube videos are all lies, lies...especially the one that shows it exploding in the oven and burning the house down...all vicious lies!

 

The video that scared me the most is the one where it caught fire while the guy was still wearing it!

 

So, I just learned that my Millennial Daughter has been told by her company to work from home until April 1! All of the office workers at this pretty large scientific equipment manufacturer have pretty much been told the same. She is PUMPED at not having to commute in for a few weeks. I would not be surprised that she becomes a big fan of Covid-19 for the next few weeks...

 

That video was taken out of context and he had already voided the warranty by not wearing noninflammable underwear as per the users manual...

 

There is a thread here on General Chat which talks about human trails beginning for a vaccine in Great Britain. I think this has to be seen as a positive development. Though I believe one would have to be hard up for $$$ to sign up for that.

 

Perhaps @malky66 could have a better supper tonight if he signs up for this?

 

If my investments lose any more value I'll probably have to sign up, gotta pay for the steak and caviar somehow.

 

you just read my mind, do your tinfoil hats have this feature now?

 

Well, there is a Super Stealth Deluxe version (leasing options available) that not only allows you to read minds but makes you invisible, too.

 

Makes you invisible? If I didn't know better one might suspect a bit of false advertising here....hmmm. But having written that, your tinfoil hats have been rated rather highly by the American Better Business Bureau.......So it must be true......

 

The Super Stealth Deluxe Tinfoil Hat is a highly specialized and very limited offering that is only sold to the most needy and deserving of my customers, many of whom appear to be on DP.

 

That'll be me then, I'll take one.

 

Only one? Aren't we being a bit selfish about the health of our loved ones, neighbors, etc.? We have special, ten-pack pricing.

 

Oh go on then I'll take one for the dog as well.

 

According to Fraulien Eva Braun (Angela Merkel of Germany) 70% are likely to die from the Corona virus anyway. So with that in mind, why should we even bother?

 

That's my entire point: my product will put you squarely in the untouched 30%! Keep in mind, that my tinfoil hats have been banned from the UK coronavirus testing facility that @malky66 is using to fund his lavish lifestyle of steak and caviar because they would skew the results. And, I am not supposed to let this out, but the Fraulein you mention above is a customer...