Copywriting tips from hell

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by geegel, Sep 26, 2008.

  1. #1
    Doing copywriting work is hard, especially if the product you promote happens to suck.

    This is why in all my greatness I decided to give you mortals a guide to ease things up.

    So without further ado:

    6 Tricks to Sell Your Crappy Product

    I know, I know. I tried to make the title as motivating as possible.

    Read, enjoy, laugh and feel free to send me death threats.

    Regards, George
     
    geegel, Sep 26, 2008 IP
    Jenna Appleseed likes this.
  2. TMG Enterprises

    TMG Enterprises Well-Known Member

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    #2
    That piece gave me a laugh but the exchange in your comments is priceless. The only thing I must comment on is the part quoted below:
    I see essentially the same lines in almost any internet marketing guide from people who aren't meaning them in an ironic way.
     
    TMG Enterprises, Sep 26, 2008 IP
  3. geegel

    geegel Well-Known Member

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    #3
    Well... even the gurus get it right from time to time :D

    Regards, George
     
    geegel, Sep 26, 2008 IP
  4. scubita

    scubita Peon

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    #4
    Great read :D:D You gotta love the truth! Thanks for sharing.
     
    scubita, Sep 26, 2008 IP
  5. xxdomainxx

    xxdomainxx Banned

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    #5
    LOL

    It was nice
     
    xxdomainxx, Sep 26, 2008 IP
  6. latoya

    latoya Active Member

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    #6
    Those really are copywriting tips from hell.

    This is called false advertising and, in the U.S. and many other countries, it's illegal.
     
    latoya, Sep 26, 2008 IP
  7. wilhb81

    wilhb81 Active Member

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    #7
    WoW, this one is tough:
    Which means, you and me also a moron as well lol
     
    wilhb81, Sep 26, 2008 IP
  8. Grit.

    Grit. Well-Known Member

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    #8
    That gave me a laugh for a moment ^^ Nice rant, but maybe the dig this or die comment was a little OTT
     
    Grit., Sep 26, 2008 IP
  9. ArticleScholar

    ArticleScholar Well-Known Member

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    #9
    And I thought Satan's a marketer. :D
     
    ArticleScholar, Sep 26, 2008 IP
  10. lightless

    lightless Notable Member

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    #10
    Great copywriters and marketers are good at selling you crappy products that you never even know, understand or admit are crappy. For example, just add the following P.S and no buyer will complain that the product is crappy.

    P.S If it doesn't work for you, it's because you are a dumb moron loser with absolutely no chance of making it.
     
    lightless, Sep 27, 2008 IP
  11. canalboatman

    canalboatman Peon

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    #11
    Funnyhttp://forums.digitalpoint.com/images/icons/icon10.gif!

    However, sometimes brutal honesty works very well. There was a London estate agent (that'll be realtor to some of you across the big pond) called Roy Brooks, who made his name in the 1970s and 80s by describing property with unfaltering accuracy - for example "poky little flat with a view of the gas works from the small sitting room. But it is in Chelsea and just off the fashionable Kings Road, hence the price."

    So crap can be sold even by describing it as crap. Roy Brooks became a national figure and very wealthy out of it.
     
    canalboatman, Sep 27, 2008 IP
  12. canalboatman

    canalboatman Peon

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    #12
    Funny!

    However, sometimes brutal honesty works very well. There was a London estate agent (that'll be realtor to some of you across the big pond) called Roy Brooks, who made his name in the 1970s and 80s by describing property with unfaltering accuracy - for example "poky little flat with a view of the gas works from the small sitting room. But it is in Chelsea and just off the fashionable Kings Road, hence the price."

    So crap can be sold even by describing it as crap. Roy Brooks became a national figure and very wealthy out of it.
     
    canalboatman, Sep 27, 2008 IP
  13. geegel

    geegel Well-Known Member

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    #13
    And in other news, Mininova just reached a grand total of 6 billion downloads. If it is illegal, it doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. I invite you to take a quick trip to ClickBank and check several products at random. You'll most likely have your IQ drop several points and you'll get the chance to witness a mind numbing amount of BS. And by that I mean YES false advertising. If you're gonna bathe with the sharks, you'd better learn how to swim.

    Nah, it's just professional hazard.

    You're right. Some mention of bubonic plague would've been much more appropriate.

    Hey! Leave the boss out of this!

    Hmm... Insulting your readers... The Force is strong in this one.

    I think that we can both agree that Brits come in a league of their own.

    Regards, George
     
    geegel, Sep 27, 2008 IP
  14. chillingbreeze

    chillingbreeze Well-Known Member

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    #14
    LOL... That was something good for today :p You've freaking catchy style for sure. I was little skeptical on this point though "Always Assume Your Customers Are Morons".

    Marketers must assume they're brainy but most of the readers too have a head over their shoulders. Converting them is another trick.

    All in all, loved the post.
     
    chillingbreeze, Sep 27, 2008 IP
  15. lightless

    lightless Notable Member

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    #15
    Nobody ever went broke underestimating the average person's intellect. ;)
     
    lightless, Sep 27, 2008 IP
  16. The dark knight

    The dark knight Peon

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    #16
    nice one... what happens whn some ppl see this ...they will never trust any product ever :p
     
    The dark knight, Sep 27, 2008 IP
  17. chillingbreeze

    chillingbreeze Well-Known Member

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    #17
    People see this every now and then. And they rely too. That's what a great marketer excels at. :p

     
    chillingbreeze, Sep 27, 2008 IP
  18. canalboatman

    canalboatman Peon

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    #18
    I worked in the USA for a time and there can be striking differences in the way things are marketed there and in Britain. The brash and bold approach frequently used to promote products and services there would probably not work so well here. I recall CBS Records (as it then was) running a massive campaign in Britain to bring Bruce Springsteen to the attention of the public. The strap line was "I have seen the future of rock and roll." I think it put his career over here back several years. The general response was, "Oh yeah, who does he think he is."

    George Bernard Shaw once famously noted "two countries divided by a common language." I think he had a point.

    Cheers

    Dominic
     
    canalboatman, Sep 27, 2008 IP
  19. wussadotcom

    wussadotcom Banned

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    #19
    lol..this seems like a mental technique to help boost our spirit :p
     
    wussadotcom, Sep 27, 2008 IP
  20. logylaps

    logylaps Active Member

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    #20
    Good read m8. Thanks.

    PS. Nobody has EVER been burned for underestimating their target's intelligence, RIGHT?
     
    logylaps, Sep 27, 2008 IP