Hello I first thought I wanted to go with a full sales copy but whenever I see sales copies I run away screaming (just my personal feeling). I personally feel that whenever I see some classic sales copies someone is trying to sell me something that is somewhat fishy. HOWEVER I know that good sales copies work like crazy. That is why I tried to create a mix between a mini site and a sales copy (Please don't hit me ). I really would like some honest feedback and maybe some improvement suggestions on how I did so far: www.adsenseexperts.com/consulting/adsense-optimization-service.html I hope you folks can help me out here a little Thanks StarBuG
I'm not a professional copywriter by any means, but I can speak as an affiliate. Before I promote something for Clickbank or Rapbank, I always take a close look at the sales page. Your sales page is one of the better ones I've seen. This is minor, but I'm slightly confused about the yellow box where it says "I offer the following services." Half of the services are marked as optional, so it leaves me to wonder, are the other services mandatory? What if I just want one service? The pricing is 100 Euro per hour, but I feel a little hesitant since I have no clue as to the average time it takes for any of these things. It may be that they will just contact you and ask, but I guess this is the only area of your copy where I had a lot of questions.
Thanks Every client gets a rough time estimate from me before we make a contract so he knows how much he has to pay if he agrees. The first four options are the package I sell. Of course if the client is on a budged and can not afford a full in depth analysis the approach can be modified. But you made a good point. I feel that the list is not good this way too. Thanks for your opinion
Although I tend to agree with your view on sales letters, this is not actually something I'd recommend. It's more of a cultural issue. In Europe we see them as screaming "fake", go to US and they're seen as a time honored tradition. Check your traffic and see where it comes from. The data matters. As for recommendations, this is basically not a sales page, but rather a lead generation page. It might not seem that way, but what you're actually doing is not selling, but rather convince people to contact you. It wouldn't hurt to push your contact form faster in front of your audience, maybe even give it first glance real estate. If you're comfortable with warm leads you could even lower the perceived barrier for contacting you. I also couldn't help noticing the excessive use of "I" and a few grammar mistakes (the Panda update paragraph gets killed by them), but these can be easily fixed. Right now, I believe that you need an usability study more than copywriting critique. I can't shake off the feeling that by reorganizing the page you can get some dramatic improvements in the conversion rate. Bottom line is... test. You're supposed to be good at it Best regards George Cozma
Thanks for your opinion. I corrected the errors in the panda sentence, thanks for pointing them out. I also started a split test with a 2nd shorter contact form much higher in the letter. We'll see which converts better. Thanks. More feedback is very welcome
Hey StarBug, nice job for putting yourself out there! a quick review of the letter for you: - headline: it's a strong headline, but doesn't really sell me to keep reading, i'd look at going through and changing the format a little bit so you go: pre headline, headline, sub headline.. gives you more space to really sell to them why it's important for them to keep reading your sales letter. - you gotta start it off with a "Dear Friend" or something like that, your sales page needs to be personal.. always think when you are writing that you are only writing the letter to one person. People love to feel special and feel that you are writing just for them. - you should look at doing a stepped contact request, so push them to first put their name and email address in so you get their main contact info straight away, then get them to fill in the other details once they've submitted their name and email. some people might see you page whilst at work or during a time when they are busy and don't have the time to fill in the full details that you're looking for and the likely hood of them coming back to your site is low. So get the important details in step 1, then move them through to step 2 for the rest. the letter is pretty good overall, just try and spice up your headline -Josiah
Being totally honest, I think it is pretty bad because sales pages such as this drive people away because they are generally associated with spam or get-rich-quick schemes. I would think about a re-design, lose cheesy pics that are associated with these and make it more professional. Remember that you are trying to get people to purchase this... You also must refrain from using phrases such as Gee Whiz and other such american slang terms. Are you not German? I thought that this was not used in Germany? You need to sell your product early on and think about splitting the information up onto various pages. Being honest, I can't even be bothered to read it to give you a full appraisal because of what it is. Remember that these are associated with spam and other such rubbish and you are planting yourself into the same league doing this. Sorry it sounds so negative but that is what these pages portray - something that should not be trusted. Oh and please, do NOT start off with "Dear Friend" or other such worthless tripe. Professional services should not sound like asian spam that lands in your mailbox trying to get you to part with money. Regards, Andy
Thanks for all the feedback @inet SEO, I feel you. I have the same feelings when seeing a sales copy myself but the sales page is targeted to US Customers and call it tradition or mentality, they are used to sales pages and they "like" them. And even if some can't believe it, they do work very good. The German version of my sales page is totally different. No sales copy writing at all