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Copy Page Critique Request - eBook, Content Creation Niche

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by vip-ip, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. dyadvisor

    dyadvisor Peon

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    #21
    Congratulations to both vip-in and Mark Andrews. WOW, WHAT A SUPER IMPROVEMENT.

    I knew, when Mark came along to stop. That is HIS area of expertise, and the results certainly show it. Certainly nice to see the contributions, and time spent. Now you have a site to be proud of.

    ------------------------------------------------great job guys---------------------------------
     
    dyadvisor, May 19, 2010 IP
  2. MarkAndrews IMCopywriting

    MarkAndrews IMCopywriting Peon

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    #22
    There is still a great many improvements which could be made to this piece.

    The first paragraph is still way too long.

    That first sentence needs to go on it's own seperate line.

    Are you a content writer?...

    Followed by the rest of the sales blurb below it.

    This first paragraph is still way too long.

    And put the 'you' in italics...

    Are you a content writer?...

    Scrolling down, the subheadlines are still in a different text size, this needs correcting without fail as suggested previously.

    And further down again, there are way too many colors being used, blue, green etc - just stick to red...the same red as is being used for the main headline.

    Some of the sales copy also still needs a great deal of editing / polishing up.

    If you implement these changes, not only will your targeted visitors stay on your page for longer but you will also see your conversions rise, as a direct result of taking my advice.

    If you do not implement these changes, your sales figures will suffer as a direct result.

    If you were split testing this piece there is no way on this earth you would keep this page looking as busy as it is at the moment with all of these colors going on and ad hoc text sizes.

    You need more uniformity.

    Do not be tempted to dress up a page to make it look 'pretty' - it won't do you any good whatsoever.

    Start it off simply and keep the design uniform and basic throughout.

    Do not be tempted to confuse your readers...every single one of them is a potential customer and every time you create more changes, color, text sizes etc you are in effect, creating a filter. These 'filters' will have your visitors (who could otherwise be buyers) clicking away in an instant.

    Is it really worth the risk?

    Finally your USP (unique selling point) could be a lot stronger.

    Put yourself into your ideal prospects shoes and read / see the page through their eyes only, not just your own.

    Remember, they will be asking themselves one question only as they read through your page...

    "What is in this for me personally?"

    Best,


    Mark Andrews...
     
  3. vip-ip

    vip-ip Active Member

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    #23
    Mark, your advice has been crucial. I feel like you're Sugarman's cousin or something :D Uniformity, filters, put yourself in the buyer's shoes, etc... I know of things you've mentioned above, yet I wouldn't know exactly where or even how to apply them to my particular copy. Like you said, "what's in this for me personally?" You've pretty much given me the answer.

    I'm highlighting the next paragraph in red because this is the most time-consuming realization that I have not made before:
    One thing is clear. The process of copy editing is a continuous adventure. Previously, I've made the mistake of thinking that a copy writing process has a start and a finish. In reality, I don't think a piece can ever be flawless. Due to the writer's changing mood, changing social conditions, or simply various trends that are hot now (or will be hot later), a sales copy can always be improved. I hope whoever reads this topic for whatever purpose catches this paragraph and keeps this in mind when they write copy.

    Thank you so much for directly pointing me on the right path, Mark!

    Best Regards,
    Vas.
     
    vip-ip, May 19, 2010 IP
  4. dyadvisor

    dyadvisor Peon

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    #24
    I truly am glad that Mark has added his expertise to this forum. It was truly lacking in someone showing the benefit of long sales copy copywriting. I sure he has even more writing talent, but in that manner he really shines.

    I am glad that I am not footing the bill of what someone else with far less credibility would have charged you. When you get that done, however, you are going to need to improve your traffic.

    To run a successful business, you always have to adapt to change. You are certainly getting some unmatched assistance.

    Success is a journey, never a destination. There is always room at the top, but the bottom is crowded. Nice to see you rising up. -----------------------------
     
    dyadvisor, May 19, 2010 IP
  5. MarkAndrews IMCopywriting

    MarkAndrews IMCopywriting Peon

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    #25
    Another simple little tip for you...

    Quite often you'll carry out your copywriting and write yourself to exhaustion, thinking, 'I have to finish this piece tonight, otherwise I'll lose my train of thought in the morning, when I pick this up again.'

    To avoid this, never, ever conclude your copywriting (or general writing) on a low point.

    What do I mean by this?

    Always conclude your writing the night before on a high note.

    For example, always make sure you end on a really exciting point and do not take the piece to it's natural conclusion.

    Then, in the morning, you'll pick the piece up again and very easily be able to carry on writing your very powerful sales copy.

    In other words - delay the orgasm lol!

    You'll find it so much easier to pick it up again, if you always end on a point of suspense (a high note.)

    If you think to yourself, I must finish this vein of thought right now before I finish off - when you pick the piece up again, you'll find it much harder and a lot more difficult to get back into the flow of your writing once again.

    This is the perfect mechanism to beat any writers block, if you suffer from such an affliction.

    Your copy will flow a great deal more if you put this simple writing tip into practice.

    Another useful writing tidbit brought to you by...


    Mark Andrews...
     
  6. vip-ip

    vip-ip Active Member

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    #26
    What a great tip. As far as writer's block, I only have that when I have an order for, say, 50 articles on "fixing auto windshields."

    There's only so much that you can say about a company which does either 1) replacement, or 2) repair. After a while, I run out of words to make it unique enough for Copyscape!

    I actually have a dry-erase board right by my bed for midnight ideas. Yes, a plain piece of paper works, but I just scribble in the dark (no one likes squinting from a bright light after being in the dark for a while, right?). No one else reads it, so as long as my handwriting makes sense to me it's all good!

    "Delay The Orgasm" - that one's going on my wallpaper!

    Best Regards,
    Vas.
     
    vip-ip, May 19, 2010 IP
  7. MarkAndrews IMCopywriting

    MarkAndrews IMCopywriting Peon

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    #27
    The dry wipe board works for me too, I use it in exactly the same way as you do.

    This evening was rather fun, out on my sailing yacht, about 15 miles offshore in a force 5 - with a good swell running in from the South Western Approaches of the Atlantic.

    Sails fixed in place, me just below deck on the mini laptop, copywriting with some decent waves breaking over my bow at a 35 degree angle to port side, trying to balance cooking tea on the stove lol whilst listening to some rather ecletic afro celt music at a high volume.

    Just got back in the door a few minutes ago after mooring up again.

    Now almost midnight and about to take the motorhome out for a spin, to wake up in a rather beautiful spot in the morning somewhere looking out over the ocean.

    It's a good life.

    Cheers!


    Mark...