Hello everyone! A copywriter I've hired just sent me this letter. I'm having mixed feelings about it, and I'd like to ask you what you think of the copy and overall approach, tone, style, and so on. http://www.slicedot.com/wow/ Also, if you have any critiques related to particular wordings or phrases, bullet points, I will be more than grateful to hear your comments and critiques. Thank you very much in advance!
The headline is pretty good. The subhead isn't bad but it needs to be shorter. What they were trying to go for was Problem Agitate Solution. They didn't quite get it. It started sounding a little strange for me when they started talking about the " problems " and it got into hygiene. The bullets were not up to the standards of a good letter. Some were talking about features and did not make sense. In my opinion this letter would not compel a prospect to buy the product. The P.S. was weak as well.
Not to throw a pun at ya, but, "wow," I like it. There are a few minor things, but overall, good job. One thing, the page is way too long. Your copywriter is making you look like one of those motor mouth salesmen who feels he has to keep on talking to make a sale. Know when to shut up, and then hand them the pen to sign on the dotted line. Why are you having mixed feelings about it? If you are, or once an addict, I would think that you should be writing most of this. For the most part, it does not matter if you are not a copywriter.
yah theres alot of WOW addicted people. I see relationships being ruined because of WOW all over posts online. Addiction is very dangerous.