I was at the market the other day. I saw a strange bearded lady at one of the stalls. I stop to have a look at this woman because she was a freak. I looked to the left of her. There was a large brass cage covered up by a silk sheet. I wanted to ask her what was underneath but i was eating at the time and pasty and bearded woman at the same time would be too overpowering. So here i was stood there looking at this woman. I bet many other people saw me and thought poor old soul... he's going to desperate measures. After i had eaten my pasty i moved towards here. Slowly i crept. She saw me approach and bellowed "i bet you want to know whats under that silk sheet don't you. I replied "errrh i wasn't going to but as you mention it yeah i would". she looked at me... her beard quivered then she spoke softly "underneath this silk sheet is the most outrageous thing ever!". She paused sharply. (she tried to cause tension but i just wanted to punch her in the face but she was big and she may have eaten me) she pointed to the cage "This thing is worse than Gary Glitter , its worse than the devil itself.. it is a sexually baked sugary treat which i have named biscuit.( great choice of name pure genius). A small voice squeaked from the inside of the cage. " my names marcus i've told you blooming 33 times in total you fat ****. I I didn't intervene or stick up for the bearded women because it was true. She snapped back at this sugary devil , oh shut up... i am going to eat you and then you will be inside my tummy and i will try not to digest you". Marcus replied " eat me i have enough room for a tv and an ensuite in your gut". I finally intervened , not to defend the Woman just to try and purchase this perverted biscuit. " so how much do you want for it ?". she replied " nothing have it but don't feed it after midnight!" " isn't that off the gremlins? for that little fury thing gizmo or he multiples". She spoke back to me in anger " i'm an expert on mythical beasts" "yeah ok then" i said then I disappear€ed down a dark ally thinking to myself a perverted cookie is hardly a beast! what should happen next?