I really need to improve my sales page - 'cos conversions are really bad. All remarks, comments and tips are welcome. Take a look and tell me what you think, please
Top secret+pop up = hit back button I would be reluctant to buy anything that says top secret nowadays [It's been made redundant through overuse], but maybe that's just me. You could get rid of the pop up and put the info and download within the web page if you could. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? I am sure i could find out if i read in more detail, but i just skimmed through it and looked at the bolded parts and headlines and i still don't have a CLEAR idea what it really does. Describe in clear, simple, easy to understand terms what it does and make that description highly visible. Describe your product clearly in one sentence.
I think that both the words and colors used in the page do not actually engage the visitor to read through the whole thing. And lightless has a point. When you browse the ad, it’s unclear what you’re really offering. I would also suggest that you get testimonials – fast. People would want to know that your product works and testimonials would entice visitors to buy from you. Get feedback from people who have bought this. Good luck to you!
My thoughts: 1. The humongous headline screams hype 2. Secret tool, doubled and effortlessly also scream hype 3. I'm not sure if it's just me but the first impulse I have is to move away from the page if it's the same format as other affiliate websites. You could do away with the usual screaming headline-black and white and red format-single page that makes you scroll down and it would look more professional and honest 4. The first few paragraphs talk about your situation and your problems with clickbank. It would be better if you relate it to other affiliate marketers instead Hope that helps. - Ced
Try decorative templates, snapshot of content, or similar. If nothing works, offer something for free. Does not matter what, as long as it is for free, people will want to get it
Even after reading the page twice, I'm still unsure of what the product actually does. You should definately make this clearer, as all I really understood was that you were annoyed with the fact you were losing customers who didn't have Paypal? Also, the colour of the page doesn't really draw attention. If I wasn't reading it to evaluate it, I would have clicked off straight away. The pop up box was extremely annoying, but I did like the video played on the TV. Made it look nice. Also, I wouldn't address the reading with 'Dear Friend'. Might just be me, but if I see that on a page I'll just click off.
here are a few thoughts... Start your letter letter off talking about me (your target) and my problems. I don't care about you, Clickbank, and Paypal. I care about ME and my lost sales. Talk less about features, more about benefits. The primary benefit is more revenue. I'm not losing sales because of payment processing issues. When it comes to the affiliate angle, you need to keep the target in mind. The only reason I care about affiliates making sales is because I want to make sales. Don't take for granted the reader will think that, you need to say it. This button, presumably, will encourage affiliate signups and discourage affiliate unsubcriptions. It will, again presumably, save me the time and hassle of calculating up affiliate sales and sending payments on some periodic basis. If that's true, those are some benefits you should spell out. You say: By Now You're Probably Wondering: "How Much Is This Amazing Tool Going To Cost Me?" No...by now I'm wondering what is this tool and how does it work? What is this mysterious button and how do I know it's not going to deliver my payments to your paypal address? You say "Can be used with most payment processors" then you say "....you can combine clickbank and any payment processor." Can I use it with most? Or can I use it with any? How is this button different and better than other payment processing buttons out there? I was once given some sales page advice that really helped: define your target customer and write directly to that person.
Thanks for the tips, everyone. I'm working on a new sales page & I'm trying to put all your tips to good use. It's not finished yet, but please let me know what you think so far. Am I doing any good? New salespage
Personally I think it's a lot better than before. I'm still not convinced about the header (pictures of cash or people with cheesy grins alway put me off), but that might just be me and my personal views. I think by getting rid of the pop up box and putting the box in at the side you've made it instantly more appealing, so well done for that. I also like how you've actually got straight to the point with what the product actually does this time, so again, nice work.
It’s certainly a lot clearer than it was before. I would make the text at the top of the page a lot smaller. Huge shouty text in black and red makes it look like the hundreds of other sales pages out there with huge shouty black and red text. I'd click away as soon as I saw it. Don’t capitalise the first letters of words for whole sentences in your headlines. It looks strange and makes the text hard to scan. There are places where you could tighten up your phrasing. For example, “Smart Button Pro enables you to offer multiple payment options to your customers while leaving your affiliates’ commissions intact.â€
It's significantly better than the original. And as Emily said, do away with the huge headline size. Makes your site look like every single affiliate website on the planet. Also be careful of your spelling. Like this, 'you're probably ware. 'Finally, try shortening the sentences to make them snappy. Take this one for example, 'This Brand New Tool Allows You To Offer Multiple Payment Options To Your Customers, While You Can Make Sure Your Affiliates Won't Lose Their Commissions.' Hope that helps. - Cedric
It's not clear. Right off the bat I don't know that it is a product that offers a solution to a problem I have. So why keep reading? In other words, it's too generic and not specifically tailored to a target audience and their needs.
Better than the first but still has some room for improvement. These suggestions are random and in slight disarray. Try putting a number in the headline - how much can I expect to increase my earnings? how quickly? Don't lie or exaggerate, put read numbers that you can prove. As a matter of fact, thinking about what webgal said, you might think about opening up with the problem. "You could be losing out on valuable sales and never even know." If you have some figures about the number/% of internet buyers that don't use Paypal that could strengthen you claim. "1 out of 3 internet shoppers refuse to use PayPal." That's not best line, but you get it. Emily hit on another point...you're too wordy. Too many words distracts and confuses the reader. Use fewer, more powerful words. Get straight to the point. "Most affiliate program scripts only allow you to offer one payment processor (type?) to your customers. If your buyers don't use that payment type, they won't buy from you. Paypal isn't the only payment processor. 33% of your potential customers don't have a Paypal. You're missing every single one of those sales because you don't have an alternate payment processor." "How does it work?" was a great addition. I understand what you're talking about a little more. But what happens when the buyer gets there from typing the URL directly, or clicking direct URL link from somewhere else like DP or a search engine? Before you start talking about affiliates, preface it with something like "Are buyers coming from affiliates? SmartButtonPro works seamlessly with affiliate links guaranteeing that every affiliate gets credit and payment for his sales." Fix the alignment in the yellow "revolutionary" box... Will I really double my sales? "Wait...! I Want to Sweeten The Deal Even More...!" Take out the ellipses. Most of all focus on your wording. You should be more concise and more persuasive.