Bill Gates is NOT Satan, Says Satan

Bill Gates is NOT Satan, Says Satan

Sick and tired of hearing various "Bill Gates is Satan" jokes, the Prince of Darkness today issued an edict demanding an end to such friviolities. "How dare you compare Bill Gates to me!" Satan snarled during a fake press conference from the Fire & Brimstone Briefing Room broadcast live on CSPAN. "Yes, we all know Windows is an evil piece of crap -- and I applaud Bill Gates for his efforts -- but he doesn't even come close to the sheer vileness that I possess!"

The comparisons started on Usenet in the 1990s, when a popular joke circulated about a dead Bill Gates choosing an eternity in Hell instead of Heaven, only to discover that the paradise version of Hell he first experienced was only a vaporware demo. This meme quickly morphed into various jokes connecting Microsoft with Hell, such as the classic one-liner, "Welcome to Hell. Here's your complimentary copy of Windows ME."

It didn't take long before direct Gates vs. Satan checklists made the rounds.

Satan: Torments billions of lost souls with fire and brimstone.
Gates: Torments billions of computer users with bluescreens and driver errors.

Satan: Promises anything, only to deliver eternal damnation.
Gates: Promises anything, only to deliver Vista.

Nevertheless, Lucifer is no longer amused at the parodies. "Bill Gates is nothing compared to me!" he bellowed while poking out the eyes of a nearby sinner. "I command the universe's largest collection of diabolical minions to do my bidding. What does Gates command? His minions took five years to make an operating system that can't even copy files across a network faster than dial-up speeds. That's not evil, that's just sad."

Microsoft employees have sided with Satan. "These comparisons have never been fair!" said Steve Ballmer's secretary and chair arranger. "Bill Gates has brought computers to the masses, just like Gutenberg brought literacy to the masses. He should be considered a saint!"

Source: http://humorix.org/articles/2008/01/satan/

 

Ask you ... if Bill Gates never started Microsoft, how todays' life would look like - better or worst? He has made our life better - that is a fact. Don't blame him just because other people cannot produce better operating system. Hell rejects him, heaven welcomes him.

 

I know Bill Gates has done great things. The best amongst his contributions are Internet Explorer Browser and the TCP/IP stack, at a time when people had to spend hundreds of dollars for it, and Bill Gates gave it for free... That was a huge boost to Internet Revolution... and I respect Bill Gates for it...

This post is only meant as a joke...

 

Bill Gates is the greatest man on earth. Period. :/

 

He has made these best usefull creation that can help mankind if properly used.

 

he's just a person who knows what to offer at the right time.

 

windowz is a great product.

 

everyones quick enough to jump on the hate bill gaes bandwagon but i love my pc and got no reason to hate a man who created the os it runs on

 

Practically every software development company that set out to build an OS built a better OS than Microsoft. The reason we have Windows is a combination of marketing genius, give aways, and illegal antitrust activities. IE is an abomination and I enjoy watching now every other browser kick its *ss up and down the market place.

Windows may still be the dominant player in the desktop market, but our world is evolving and Apple pretty much owns the G3 handset market, running on a Unix core. Hard to say where this evolution is going, but I could see these devices helping Microsoft die the death it needs to die on the desktop OS market. One can only dream.