My web designers who have created a .aspx site for me have told me that they cant put H1 tags in as they are too big and so the home page etc have H4 tags, are they sayig this because they cant be bothered changing it or is this correct?
That is not correct. You can set the font styles for h1. For example: h1 {color:#ccc;font:14px/18px Verdana,Arial;} Then you can use it usual ways like: <h1>My Header</h1>
Yes I agree with what he said, you have some lazy or very inexperianced coders. H1,2,3 and so on have importance to how search engine weight your content.