What did the male thread say to the female thread? Are you a singleton? Please post the programming jokes you know here
LMAO! Good luck finding a singleton with a nonblocking socket if you're going to tell jokes like that... So here's my favorite: One day, a huge computer hardware and software conference is held. Engineers from all the big companies are there. During the lunch break, three engineers all head to the rest rooms. The first one walks in, takes a leak, and then proceeds to wash his hands. After washing them, he goes over to the paper dispenser, and takes reams and reams of paper. He then spends the next 10 minutes drying his hands, until there is no moisture left. As he walks out, he says to the others waiting, "At Microsoft, we're very thorough." The next man walks in, takes a leak, then washes his hands. He then takes only 1 sheet of paper towel. He then dries his hands, making sure that he dries every single drop of water, using only one sheet of paper towel. After every single molecule of paper towel is soaked, and his hands are completely dry, he walks out, commenting that, "At Intel, we're thorough, and efficient." Finally, the third engineer walks in, takes a leak, and then walks straight out again, saying, "At Sun, we don't piss on our hands."
Xangis: that's awesome! Yah, I won't bother telling my wife the joke I made up, lol Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? Because DEC 25 = OCT 31 (Gotta love loop jokes, haha) How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat." Bill Gates dies and is at the pearly gates talking with Saint Peter. Saint Peter says, "Bill, you've done some wonderful things in your life and have earned the right to choose where you'll spend the rest of eternity. You can choose between Heaven or Hell, but choose wisely." Bill looks over Saint Peter's shoulder between the pearly gates and sees nothing but a lush green meadow. Deciding to heed Saint Peter's words, Bill asks if he could take a look at Hell. Saint Peter agrees and sends Bill to Hell. The Devil greets Bill at the gates of Hell and he is immediately taken aback. Much to his surprise, there's one heck of a party going on. People are dancing, the alcohol is flowing, music is non-stop and everyone is having a blast. Bill returns to Heaven to again discuss his decision with Saint Peter. He again looks over Saint Peter's shoulder and sees only a lush green meadow. Bill says to Saint Peter, "I've put a lot of thought into this decision and it may sound foolish, but I'd like to spend the rest of eternity in Hell." Saint Peter fulfills Bill's request and returns him to Hell. When Bill gets back to Hell there's been a big change. People are writhing in agony, flames are burning, moans of pain and despair are everywhere. Bill, being quite shocked at the sight asks the Devil, "What happened?? I was just down here a little while ago and everyone was having a great time!" The Devil says, "Oh that... That was just the demo!"
Car problems 3 people were in a carpool: a mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a Microsoft programmer. But the car suddenly broke down. Mechanical engineer said: "Hey! It has to be the fuel injection. Lemme fix it." The electrical engineer didn't agree: "It's magneto probably. I'll fix it." Microsoft programmer shoke his head and said: "Hey guys, I have a simpler idea: Let's just close all the windows, get out of the car, then get back into it, and it should run!"
The world's smartest man One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment. "Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane. Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night. Bill Gates rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am the world's smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world's smartest man should have a parachute, too." He grabbed one, and out he jumped. The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane." The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry, dude, there's still two left. The world's smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack."
I have heard the 3rd joke in a variety of styles. Most of them make fun of George Bush and the rest favor Bill Gates.
ROFLMAO !!! whahah , what a funny threadd!! go ahead... im writing all down here. all i can say that my girlfriend shes like scripting error.. who built her was really stupid