a job application........lol

Discussion in 'Movies, Music & TV' started by uttoransen, Mar 20, 2007.

  1. #1
    and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

    NAME: Greg Bulmash.
    SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
    DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
    DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
    EDUCATION: Yes.
    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
    SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’ notes.
    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
    AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That’s why I’m applying.
    PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?
    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
    DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.
    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
    SIGN HERE: Aries.
    cheers!:D
     
    uttoransen, Mar 20, 2007 IP
  2. aszo

    aszo Peon

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    #2
    hahahahha
    so funny lol...
    but if im the bos..
    i will reject and kick this person into my office.. :p
     
    aszo, Mar 20, 2007 IP
  3. maldives

    maldives Prominent Member

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    #3
    Very well written! lol
     
    maldives, Mar 20, 2007 IP
  4. rays

    rays Active Member

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    #4
    i like this on most ...

    very funny :D ...thanks for sharing
     
    rays, Mar 20, 2007 IP
  5. getjimmy

    getjimmy Prominent Member

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    #5
    Really funny.Thanks for sharing.
     
    getjimmy, Mar 20, 2007 IP
  6. directory.chandra

    directory.chandra Banned

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    #6
    hey guy
    you r so magic and funny
     
    directory.chandra, Mar 20, 2007 IP
  7. uttoransen

    uttoransen Prominent Member

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    #7
    signature, now your sunsign dear,
    but yes, he was honest, he excatly told what he knew............lol:D
     
    uttoransen, Mar 20, 2007 IP
  8. toby

    toby Notable Member

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    #8
    hahah, he is fitted to work for me :D
     
    toby, Mar 20, 2007 IP
  9. uttoransen

    uttoransen Prominent Member

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    #9
    finally he got the job, cheers! working for toby, how much will you pay, he says he want to be the chairman! lol:D
     
    uttoransen, Mar 21, 2007 IP
  10. checksum

    checksum Notable Member

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    #10
    Haha, that was great. :D
     
    checksum, Mar 21, 2007 IP
  11. uttoransen

    uttoransen Prominent Member

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    #11
    if i am the boss i would never take this man, i know he is clever and honest, but he is better jobless.........cheers!:D
     
    uttoransen, Mar 21, 2007 IP