A Glossary of Terms for Catholics

Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by Dude111, Sep 27, 2008.

  1. #1
    AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows

    BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass

    CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the
    congregation to lip-sync

    HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY

    HYMN: A song of praise usually played in a key three
    octaves higher than that of the congregation's range

    RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass, often sung a little
    more quietly, since most of the people have left already.

    INCENSE: Holy smoke

    JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found
    colleges with good basketball teams

    JONAH: The original "Jaws" story

    PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning
    of Mass, consisting of altar servers, the celebrant,
    and late parishioners looking for seats

    RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion
    of Mass, led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd
    to the parking lot

    USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the
    seating capacity of a pew.

    PEW: (n.) A medieval torture device still found in most churches. Alternate definition: Expression commonly uttered when incense is used.

    RELICS: People who have attended Mass for so long they actually know when to sit, stand and kneel.
     
    Dude111, Sep 27, 2008 IP
  2. lightless

    lightless Notable Member

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    #2
    Good one. If you can't have a laugh at it, it's not worth consideration. There should be no sacred cows. No prison can or should hold good natured humour.
     
    lightless, Sep 27, 2008 IP
  3. LogicFlux

    LogicFlux Peon

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    #3
    Pretty funny.
     
    LogicFlux, Sep 27, 2008 IP