$5 for a good joke Cheer Me up..I dying.....for a joke

Hows that?

 

great one.reped you for that.

 

To All My Drinking buddies


I just read an article on the dangers of drinking....


Scared the shit out of me!



So that's it!


After today, no more reading.

 

I would say it's between sheilasultani or vasildb , but I'm gonna vote for vasildb .

 

The Transformative Effects of Marriage on the Y-chromosome

Three women:
one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....
that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet again.....

The engaged girlfriend said:
"The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4" stilettos and mask.
He said, "You are the woman of my life, I love you...
then we made love all night long."

The mistress stated:
"Oh Yes! The other night we met in his office.
I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat.
When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word.
We just had wild sex all night."

The married one then said:
"Well, last night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes.
My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV remote and a beer, plopped his fat ass on the couch and said,
"Hey Batman, what's for dinner?"

 

lol there are some great jokes here

 

Nothing like the promise of $5 to bring out all the jokes in the world to one thread

 

A young man finally got a date with the blonde female that sat across from him in college class. To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his parents condo in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude.

Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof and managed to get sunburn on his "tool of the trade". But, he was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze.

The blonde showed up for the date at his condo, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie. During the movie, however, the young man's sunburn started acting up again. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen and poured a tall, cool glass of milk.

He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief of his pain. The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his member immersed in a glass of milk.

Upon seeing this, the blonde exclaimed, "So that's how you guys load those things!"

 

have you given anyone?

 

Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

 

A childs dad walks into his room and catches hi son masterbating, and he shouts "son if you keep doing that you'll go blind" The son then replied " Dad I am over here"

 

nice jokes, but i don't have anything to write here sad