$5 for a good joke Cheer Me up..I dying.....for a joke

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by biddersspot, Apr 18, 2008.

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  1. #1
    Hard at it all week, I need cheering up...make me smile
    Who will liven up a the day......

    $5 for the best joke...winner decide by dp members...so if you see a good one vote for it. payment via paypal:D
     
    biddersspot, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  2. bangalore

    bangalore Peon

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    #2
    Contests is more appropriate than General chat
     
    bangalore, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  3. Kerosene

    Kerosene Alpha & Omega™ Staff

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    #3
    A man walks into the doctors office with a steering wheel jammed down the front of his trousers.
    Dr: "What the hell is that?"
    Man: "Dunno, but it's driving me nuts!"

    pffft.... :p
    It's so old it's new again
     
    Kerosene, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  4. biddersspot

    biddersspot Peon

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    #4
    It's a small start but a start thanks:eek:

     
    biddersspot, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  5. biddersspot

    biddersspot Peon

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    #5
    Maybe your right maybe your wrong...but you sure not funny:p
     
    biddersspot, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  6. Jon1771

    Jon1771 Well-Known Member

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    #6
    This is a joke my girlfriend decided to tell me after one of her nights out:

    Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

    The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
     
    Jon1771, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  7. twistedspikes

    twistedspikes Notable Member

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    #7
    lol Jon that was pretty good :D
     
    twistedspikes, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  8. Stormwire

    Stormwire Peon

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    #8
    Some old courtroom humor,

    Defendant (after being sentenced to 90 days in jail): Can I address the
    court?

    Judge: Of course.

    Defendant: If I called you a son of a bitch, what would you do?

    Judge: I'd hold you in contempt and assess an additional five days in
    jail.

    Defendant: What if I thought you were a son of a bitch?

    Judge: I can't do anything about that. There's no law against
    thinking.

    Defendant: In that case, I think you're a son of a bitch.

    Some old but classic internet humor here http://www.danielsen.com/jokes.shtml
     
    Stormwire, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  9. biddersspot

    biddersspot Peon

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    #9
    Best yet....but real competition as yet...thanks Jon1771
     
    biddersspot, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  10. biddersspot

    biddersspot Peon

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    #10
    Stormwire No luck with the irish today...me lad
     
    biddersspot, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  11. twistedspikes

    twistedspikes Notable Member

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    #11
    Heres one I liked...
     
    twistedspikes, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  12. biddersspot

    biddersspot Peon

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    #12
    NIce one twisted
     
    biddersspot, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  13. lightstarm2k

    lightstarm2k Well-Known Member

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    #13

    Are you laughing or not???? :D:D
     
    lightstarm2k, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  14. biddersspot

    biddersspot Peon

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    #14
    Warming up slowly
     
    biddersspot, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  15. twistedspikes

    twistedspikes Notable Member

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    #15
    lol thats sick...:p
     
    twistedspikes, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  16. adithya

    adithya Well-Known Member

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    #16
    ^^how's that :D :D
     
    adithya, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  17. biddersspot

    biddersspot Peon

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    #17
    funny...sick ...but funny...top joke so far
     
    biddersspot, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  18. tanujdude91

    tanujdude91 Notable Member

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    #18
    Wow......these jokes are really funny....+rep to biddersspot for starting the thread :)
     
    tanujdude91, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  19. tokyoice

    tokyoice Well-Known Member

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    #19
    A girl goes to a fair and gets her face painted with the letters A.P. She goes in the bathroom looks in the mirror and says ” That good for nothing MORON! She painted the letters backwards”
     
    tokyoice, Apr 18, 2008 IP
  20. vasildb

    vasildb Well-Known Member

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    #20
    Man at the airport

    - Name?
    - [The man tells his name.]
    - Sex?
    - Three to five times a week.
    - No, no… I mean male or female?
    - Male, female, sometimes camel.
    - Holy cow!
    - Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
    - But isn’t that hostile?
    - Horse style, doggy style, any style!
    - Oh dear!
    - No, no! Deer run too fast !:D
     
    vasildb, Apr 18, 2008 IP
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