Judge the quality of my WRiTING

Hey there,

I just need the views of a professional writer on the quality of my article writing.

Just go to my website. http://dentalhealthsite.com and i posted around 10 posts there(all of them by me)

A few of them have a diff approach than others. So i suggest reading more than one.

and pls post your opinion here.

thanks

 

They're informative and with good vocabulary, but it's hard to judge them because top 10 lists and such are rather easy to write, too. Although you might get better positioning in search engines, I'd rather see some more traditional content too if I was a visitor on your site.

 

First post...10 Amazing...

Your title capitalization is off. Microsoft Word has a "change case" function that lets you choose Title Case. Try using that.

Your spelling and grammar is off in a few places.

The "amazing facts" get drowned in the extra words you're using.

Try this: "Airborne particles from a toilet flush can travel six feet. Keep your toothbrush at least six feet away from the toilet." This puts the "fact" first and the tip second.

And this: "Tooth whitening toothpastes aren't anymore effective than "normal" toothpastes."

The bolding is distracting rather than emphasizing.

I took a look at your "10 commandments" one, too.

Again, some spelling and grammar issues.

Then, there's lack of continuity with your commandments - not all of them are actually "commands." Like "Use of mouthwashes," for example. You should say "Use mouthwash." In fact, all your commands should start with a verb.

Those are just a few specifics. The writing itself could be better. Use fewer words. Keep it simple. Engage the reader, after all, this are teeth you're talking about.

 

7 top cause of bad breath????

 

Hey,

May I also suggest that you use the word "you" as much as possible (it is the reader's favorite person-grin).
Your call to action is your email capture? Then add to all pages, mix up locations. Also add reason for reader to sign up (they may not know Feedburner is an RSS feed, and they may not know or care what an RSS feed is...but they might care about receiving helpful updates direct to their inbox), add free, add a benefit to email sign up with "you" included in benefit. In other words, tell reader what they get, why it will benefit them, and that it is free and use you. Sorry, but call to action is the most important part of a sales page. Even if your email sign up is not your main call to action, I recommend those changes and to add call to action to all pages.

Much Success,
George Pierce

 

thank u for ur excellent feedback guyz

really appreciate your effort to actually read and analyze my work..

rep added 4 all helpful replies

 

I went through this thread and saw the great review comments and i felt that this is what i had been looking for too. Please go through my writings on www.echoingpauses.com and tell me how you find it...what i have been missing and what i should pay attention. It would be highly appreciated.

 

i think u will get better responses if you create a new thread

 

are you a dentist? nice blog i learn a lot in it, thanks for sharing i bookmarked it because its very understandable writings.

 

well, im in to my 3rd year dentisty............ and do subscribe to the site as well. The site is gonna undergo lot of change in next 15 days

 

Finally, somebody who writes with authority. LOL Yeah, you're not actually a dentist yet, but somebody who knows actually what he's talking about is way better than somebody who simply re-writes articles from articles copied from another website.

 

i really appreciate that compliment. thanks

 

I liked the top 10 article very informative without the unnecessary vocabulary that a dentist would use.

I have to get a root canal soon so it was good to learn a little more about the dentites

 

well. check the site back in a week.. Lots of stuff to be posted including all about root canal treatment.. im sure it will be helpful.. bookmark the site

 

I would suggest using less parenthesis. Try using additional sentences when you have combined thoughts like that. Sometimes thoughts need to be separated so people can follow them a bit better.

You have a very caring and thoughtful way of presenting your material. It shows that you really care about people's dental health -- even though the writing is not perfect. Don't feel less than confident about your website, it seems to me that people would enjoy and appreciate your website. I would encourage you to take some of your writing and read it out loud. Good web writing often works well as conversational phrases. If you try speaking your content you may see where some of it is a less smooth -- and you can make the content easier to read.

I would suggest to you that you think of every possible reason that something could happen when it comes to health, and be a bit guarded with your writing. Some people may come across your site late at night with a tooth problem -- and if they read something about a dental problem, they could misdiagnose themselves and get themselves into a panic. You would do better to say things like "sometimes teeth can......" as opposed to "this is often.....". Give your website good "bedside manner" with people that visit, especially as you are a dental school student so you are certainly an expert on the topic.

 

I really appreciate your insightful comments on my writing.. Rep added

well, i did figure that reading out aloud really helps me a lot in identifying mistakes..and i often tend to do that..