I'm sure he is but every time you blubber like a girl and talk about his Mum and say things like "I still love your Mum" and "Why did your Mum leave me?" it puts him in an awkward disposition because he doesn't (and shouldn't) "take sides". Your wife may have left you but your son and daughters Mum and Dad have just broke up. Indirectly that has a massive impact on a child. Before you end up damaging him mentally, you need to seek mental help asap. Your not the only person that is suffering. Dr KP
Ask her, "What New lifestyle she need & tell her that you can change your lifestyle & give her new lifestyle"...
My sincere suggestion: all you need to do now is to think about your kids future, please dont move here and these ans spoil there education and future, If she is so rude and doesn't even think about family, you can't do anything- i am sure about that, and forget thinking about her, think about your children, because if you dont work now and if you dont concentrating on earning money for their education, they might suffer. Please take care of your children. This is my sincere suggestion. If you dont like my suggestion, as i said above, please you go and meet a psychiatrist/consultant and get some advice from him. Care more about your children than your relationship. Just a suggestion.
Don't get your kids involved, emotional blackmail will only make things worse. If she wants some space it's because she is feeling trapped, back off a bit, stay mates with her, and tehn after a few weeks amybe she will see what shes missing. The change in your own lifestyle may be a good idea though, when was the last time you did anything new and exotic with her, travelled somewhere new or bought her some random nice gift?
Seriously, how old are you? No offense but your advice has been not very helpful in my opinion. Have you seen the OP in person doing any of this? Please try to not be as critical of him, I think he has enough stressors in his life.
Why because I have not been "Oh it's ok, it will be ok soon". Sorry chap but I'm not the type to sugarcoat anything around anyone. Regardless of who you are. My advice is simple, direct and effective rather than being a soft touch like most people here. Lets face it, is this thread even real? C'mon, posting your personal life on a public forum when you could be getting REAL help. Please, give me a break. Think about it If you have any issues with my posts take it up with the mods. How many morons can one forum hold jeez. KP
You said it enough, don't you think? And I really don't see why. Anyone would be upset if their spouse whom they loved left after twenty years of being together. I don't think the OP needs "mental help", he just needs time to heal.
Emie, Thank you. I don't think I need mental help and think I'm having a natural reaction. I'm also doing all I can to shield my children from all of this - MY REACTION is not the cause of their distress - HER LEAVING is the problem. I probably will be better off in the long run without her even though I love her and don't want it to end. The kid's however will be worse off in the long run. My sister-in-law keeps telling me I need to go on anti-depressants. I should be depressed - it's a part of life. Doug
I am so sorry to hear this happen to you. Just take it easily and try your best to move her, maybe her will come back to you soon. Best of luck!
1. Normal people don't do that 2. It is HER fault, not yours. 3. If it took 20 years for her to show her true colors then so be it, at least you didn't live in her lie. 4. Screw the working stuff out, why would you want to? You love her yes, she broke your heart. You can do better than that crap. You are better. 5. It will hurt, it will continue hurting, it's life. But know you can do and will do better.
NetBastard (I like the name and site) That is probably the best advice yet, I've bent over backwards for years trying to please her. We actually moved to Florida and back twice at a cost of over $100,000 each time. I've changed occupations. My sister-in-law, the wife of my brother that committed suicide and the only person I have who is even close to family tells me that my wife is leaving a situation that many women can only dream about. I know I'm not perfect, but I always try to be the best husband and father that I can be. Another thing - this is my wife's second marriage, her mother has been married six times and her father was married four. I feel like an idiot that I didn't get rid of her years ago - I should have just about enough money to retire now and I currently have next to nothing!!!
Anti depressants are the worlds worst ever prescribed drug in my opinion, if you shield people from their own feelings how will they know how to deal with them when they hit extremes? Sadness, happyness, its all part of life, learn from your emotion, embrace it and just remember that the good times wouldnt be so good if it wasn't for the bad times.
I would suggest you both remain single for few days and then ask your wife to make a decision. When you are not around She will also realize that she needs you. 20 Yrs is not a joke man