The Funniest Sales Thread! Master ALFA Giant Mixed in with a Midget.

The below is a poem,story only bits and pieces of actual threads are stated.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls and those other all most human people from around the World.
Today is the day, we are setting the record straight.
Call the press, do your best to dig and crawl, be the first to post this to blog.
This will be un doubtable the funniest sales thread of all.

Today of all days is your day. Be the first to burst with joy.
Our offer is gold and backed by silver, Its a no rebate offer so don't hesitate.
Get mouse happy and hosting thats crappy from our first offer ever.
Call your sisters, brothers and even your cousins.

We are selling Master ALFA Giant's, and even some Master ALFA Midget's.
The difference is HUGE this offer is unreal. Even a bargain if it ends up we steal.
Don't Blame us yet for taking your dime.
You paid for what you got, I will explain and take more of your time.

99.99% Uptime promised to you, At least until to many Midgets get through.
Don't let me confuse you any more than you are.
Ill share the difference in structure, yes its all true .
please don't feel bad you got had, You seen it coming didn't you?

A master ALFA Giant is a account we sell to strangers. Please don't be to angry.
Our Server allows all sites, Sell Midgets , widgets and Gizmo's
Now a Midget is a ALFA Giant account that can sell master resellers,resellers and hosting.
We packed all of these on a dual core Lap top.Over loaded ,, Maybe.

Now for the interesting part of this whole thread,we wont last 2 Months.
There will be no refunds as some one has claimed.
Our support staff, YES they are in the 8th grade.

So now we claimed our day to sell our massive plan.
We promise you this, Its the best $50.00 dollars you ever spent.
We have it now, no you cant have it back.
This is plain and simple ... you got had.

Now please go ahead and purchase away, we might just get a dedicated server that way.
But if not, O well we never promised you that.
Sit and be mad, and cause a scenes on the forums.
This was all a big scam, we dreamed up out of boredom.


So now that you know, I have warned in advance.
Please send me your payment, sit back and relax.
You might get your account if the server stays up.
Most chances on that are zero to NONE.

This post is wrote with intent so it is fun for us all.
The sick part is, every thing wrote above.
This is happening now, it will happen again.
And all I can do is say oh shit.

Please be realistic in your search on this forum.
Cover your bases. Its better to know!
Or be like so many, and be out all your dough!
Im sorry for those in the past, who did indeed loose there ass.

This story is over, Im done ranting for now.
To all of you reading the above, it reflects bits and pieces of how.
A decent person gets scammed every hour, no doubt.
A sickening thing to see on my favorite hang out!

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This post was written to tell the truth of bits and pieces of what I have personally read over IwhiC.Com's 1+ Years in business.

In NO way does any of the above apply to IwhiC.Com business practices.



Thank you and please proceed to our official sale listed below!
Don't for get to read through our 50+ Positive ITraders on our hosting sales.


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This sales thread for IwhiC.Com has not started Yet.


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Now onto our offer.............. No Jokes , No rimes , No more poems. Straight deals from a straight shooting host.

Go to IwhiC.Com
Choose from the following:

Hosting
Reseller Hosting
Master Reseller
Proxy hosting

Pick your Plan, Follow steps to order.
Enter Coupon Code:

FunnyPost

Get 50% off for as long as you host your account!

VPS Orders Please use coupon code : Awesome

And get 25% Per Month!

Thank you
Aimee and Jason
IwhiC.Com serving web hosting sense 2007

 

Wow lol Jason&Aimee this is the oddest sales thread ive seen on DP since I joined I never thought Giants and Midgets would make for a good sales Pitch
I would like to highly Recommend IwhiC's hosting to anyone

-Chris

 

Chris, Thank you!

Odd.. A little BUT It is all true.
So many people get scammed every day on DP or any other forum.
So I took bits and pieces of actual post and put it down.

What do you mean Midgets and Giants dont go together? Ever been to the circus!
Amazing thing is I DID all the writing with out naming names.
Maybe next time I will..

Chris let is know if you need anything!

Thank you
Jason

 

Rep Added, as this is by far the best post ever in this section talking about Unknowing Alpha Master reseller owners. People when buying hosting dont just look at the specs, Support/Customer Service is what counts. There are great hosts on DP, dont go for the first cheap offer you get, you may regret it.

 

Kevin, Thank you

p.s Nice work out placing IwhiC in google.. =)

Now there are 2 down sides to they way I posted this.

1) Im getting some hate email from sellers.. Truth hurt ?
2) I have to open another server soon to add the clients that are joining IwhiC
4 In just this thread in 1 hour. 16 for the day!
Honesty is IwhiC's weapon.

It was a tough call to post this and Im glad I did.

I don't mind any comments to this thread.. As far as Aimee and I are concerned its a open board. Sales to the offer will stay open. We welcome all new clients pre hand to IwhiC.Com

Thank you
Jason

 

Omg, Please post this on SHF, this is classic

How long did it take you to write this?

 

8 Days of gathering post, 2 Hours and 3 beers for compiling this post =)
PM me our SHF details it will be my pleasure to post this.

Thanks Cameron

Jason

 

lol very funny thread

 

I'm still lol .. Gets better every time you read it...

If you really HONESTLY don't understand my poem, post. I will explain more in detail in PM send me a PM and I will expand.

To many are not seeing that for what it is.

Thank you
Jason

 

Just signed up, 10 minutes later I'm in business, good service!

Thanks

 

wow, that was a good laugh, i was looking for a proxy host to lol!

 

hey what host should i use for a proxy reseller? dosent say on site, but it dose say you can use a proxy reseller.... where is this?

 

Hi we do not have this listed as we do not like to sell very many of them.. but this is what we can do
50GB Space
500GB Bandwidth
Proxy Reseller
24.99 a month
http://iwhic.com/whmcs/cart.php?a=add&pid=181

 

That is pure gold...

 

It says that the Promotional Code "Awesome" does not exist.

 

You are so welcome. Please let us know if you need anything.

Let us know if you need a larger or smaller plan. We can assist either way.

Thank you.

I have re activated the coupon code. This will work now on all VPS listed on our site. If you have a pending VPS order already please let us know, we will manually add the coupon before check out.


Thank you
Jason

 

do you have any special offer on VPS's where cpanel is free? i currently am with suntexhosting and I am experiencing alot of downtime.

 

We do I can offer you a few options.
Please send me a PM with your requirements / budget or send a email to
I know we can come to terms. And get you on the road to solid uptime!

Thank you
Jason

 

he he he he....... pretty funny

 

Just bought a master reseller account!! This is awesome, I don't want to deal with suntexhosting's fibs and lies about virus scans anymore, thanks IwhiC!