Title for Press Release

Hey everyone,
I've got to think of a title for the press releases I'm submitting.
I'm sure there are more than a few excellent copywriters here who could help come up with a killer of a title.
Here's the situation that is being promoted: The site is an credit card comparison and application page, which is currently donating money to charity for certain credit card applications. Not small money either, on average $50 per successful application.
Knowing the importance of headings and titles for marketing campaigns, I need to think of the best one possible. I haven't had much experience writing awesome headings and titles, so the best I could come up with at the moment is:

Applying for a Credit card? Donate $50 to charity: At no extra cost.​

Which obviously has lots of room for improvement.

Bring in those quality titles!

 

Hey,

I just tried for a while writing those titles. I could write down a couple of them. I loved the way my brain juices kept flowing, at least for sometime.

Your Credit Card Application Can Donate up to $50 To charity

Donate $50 for charity By Just Applying For Credit Card

Just An Application For Credit Card Could Credit You Donating $50 To Charity

 

Just a try!

You Apply, We Donate! Fill In Your Credit Card Application Form Today!

Hope it helps.

 

ToTellAStory - That's not a press release headline - it's marketing copy (such as something for a sales page).

Also, don't make it so action-oriented towards consumers directly. A news release headline needs to say what the actual news is - not try to make a sale / sign-up. The headline needs to make it clear what your news is - why would someone care enough to want to cover your story? That's what you need to answer. The news is that a company is donating $50 to charity (might want to say which one, or what type, etc.) for each new credit card customer. It should talk to journalists, rather than trying to pitch the sign-up perk to customers in the headline.

 

Thats right Jenn!
Very often people (writers as well) mix up with different aspects and as a result they fail in achieving their main objective.One has to understand the difference in sales copy, an article, and a press release. Here in this case ,apart from the company's point of view an experienced journalist would also try locating "mass interest and benefit" aspect in this press release. An opportunity to donate for some good reason is such a key factor.
However, I find it quite irrelavant to suggest a possible befitting heading of this press release when I cannot read the content in full."Mikesblank" must know that it is not a quiz.I suggest that the gentleman should invite people to read the press release and suggest titles.

 

+1

I just re-wrote a press release that was written by a large "PR" firm. You would think the release was written by an intern. She did the same crap. The headline was a sales letter headline and the lead was the same thing.

Sad considering most of their clients (including mine) are at least multi-million-dollar companies.

I really don't understand why more PR people aren't skilled in proper writing. You would think writing a press release properly would be mandatory to working in the field.

 

I think the problem is that they get so caught up in the glitz and trying to make it catchy that they simply forget that the headline actually has to say something.

 

^ Great reminder, Jenn! I often stumble upon releases that are too marketing-oriented!

 

When writing a press release, I have to get into a whole 'nother mindset. Think newspaper. In fact, look at some newspaper headlines. And not the Enquirer.

 

Thanks a lot everyone, already learnt a lot of basics and what-not-to-dos.

 

One thought would be to get more specific with the charity. Say the charity was donating food. Then the head line could be

"Your application will feed a hungry child for 1 month"

now i am not expert and that might not be a good example but i have learned that targeting benefits rather than features converts way way better. So here is another example instead of saying " point 1 point 2 etc say how or what point 1 or 2 will change or enhance the user or customer experience.

 

In short, no. This is fine for an email blast, sales letter, etc.

It's actually not rocket science (although you would think it was by how hard people seem to make it).

Anyone who considers himself or herself a writer of ANY kind should know one thing: write to your audience.

When you write a press release, who is your audience? Hint: it's not consumers. Look at the first damn word--------PRESS.

Problem solved.

But, carry on. Delete buttons throughout the word are being worn out daily.

 

LOL...

Sorry, I'm not a press release writer. Just thought I'd give it a go. Didn't know it's the worst kind of press release headline! LOL...

Learned something new today then eh?

 

Credit Card Company to Donate $50 Per Credit App Recieved
Feed the Children via Credit Card Application?
Charity Benefits from Credit Card Frenzy

 

"Your few free minutes could help a needy- Apply for a credit card and donate 50$: everything at zero cost. "

"Can you spare few free minutes of yours for 50$ donation to charity? - Apply for Credit card at zero cost. "

"Looking for a credit card? - Apply for "____" and donate upto 50$ to charity- absolutely free.


................
Hope this helps!

 

Romele - none of those are press release headlines either. There's pretty much never an appropriate time to write one in the second person - as was already said here I believe, the audience is NOT the people signing up for credit cards. Even the third example you gave is a marketing headline; not a news one.

 

This thread makes me want to slap my head. Awesome suggestions, and it seems everyone is just failing to take in what is right here on my monitor.

Slam as much information as you can into that title without making it persuasive, taking a positive/negative side, or wording it like you want a consumer to know more. Most consumers would rarely ever read a press release. Thats what your sales copy is for.

 

Hi Mikesblank,

You may need two different versions: one targeting traditional media, the other targeting online consumers.

It's difficult to advise you without my knowing:
1) if the media in Australia is likely to carry this kind of news,
2) how influential your credit card institution is,
3) if your true goal is mostly to get online consumer clicks to your site.

You might already suspect that major media will or won't likely run your news. If it would be big luck to get a pick-up, you would definitely want to also have a heavy online consumer PR plan in place.

If you feel confident that traditional newspapers, etc. tend to cover announcement such as yours, then write one of your press releases with a traditional business headline that follows the formula for what they pay attention to.

Conversely, if your goal is more to get online consumers clicking to your site, it is more strategic to write a SEO keyword-rich headline that your target audience will find through the search engines.

Again, it would be typical to write two different versions:
-- The tone of the two can/should be different. This would include different headlines and slightly different body copy, too.
-- Each would need a different distribution plan.
-- A version to your major media outlets needs to be followed-up on aggressively to "pitch" (by email and phone).

 

If that's what their goal is, a press release isn't the way to go. That would be a marketing goal; not a PR one. If you don't have news people would be interested in featuring (they're the ones with a direct reach to your audience), you shouldn't use a news release period. You should be focused on marketing-oriented tasks like better sales copy on your own site, and other more consumer-direct traffic generation methods.

 

But, but, my press release should generate sales.

It's the blind leading the blind.