Feminism: How my mother's fanatical views tore us apart

This is an amazing article, for the so called "enlightened" centrist statist males on this forum, who are too old to be metrosexual, but too young to be grumpy old men, and instead compromise on being testosterone deficient politically correct nanny staters.

And the young women on this forum might enjoy this as well. I am emailing it to my sister, as the message may resonate with her at this time in her life...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1021293/How-mothers-fanatical-views-tore-apart.html

Excerpt

 

Or, it's a sad testament, perhaps, that some moms, and some dads, suck as parents, no matter what their other virtues might or might not be. Nah - as one the OP regularly refers to as a "centrist statist nanny-stater," commonsensically, it's exemplar for, uh, centrist statist males on this forum, who are too old to be metrosexual, but too young to be grumpy old men, and instead compromise on being testosterone deficient politically correct nanny staters.

I know the OP had a really important thing bugging him a few days ago, and now that that has, uh, gone another way, I'm presuming the OP wishes to construct a theory of feminism and poor motherhood, statistically speaking, with n=1?

 

I'm all for equal rights, But modern feminism is not so much about the emancipation of women as it is about the masculation of them. Feminism should be about celebrating the qualities of women and showing that, while different, Are equally as important. Not rendering them obsolete, a burden and replacing them with qualities of a man.

People need to realise that you don't need to be identical to be equal.

 

I'm still working on the other project. I just need to clear something with the mods first.

 

Good post IMO

 

Well said.

You flirt with ideas that are very precious to me. I feel like you're on the doorstep, and just need an invitation inside.

 

I think that as with all movements, the need to hit up against some seriously strong walls can mean the movement is "one" thing initially.

To today, I don't know there is "one" feminism. This idea is mirrored, as I understand it, by many prominent people in "today's feminism." Basically, to me, the flowering of feminism, indeed, all civil rights, is for a human being to be free to pursue whatever he or she wishes to be, to the full extent of his or her abilities, without unjust and systematic constraints on those native abilities. The doctor that delivered our boy, for example, great lady - who wouldn't have had a chance in hell as late as a few decades ago, to do what she does well. Attention on and concerted action in the face of domestic violence. Many, many more.

Mainly, I find it amusing the OP would wish to construct a collectivist theory of feminism and poor motherhood with the stated example of one, n=1.

 

To be sure.

 

I think most people that know me in my personal life would consider me a feminist. Perhaps because I'm not interested in getting married, or having kids. It is a personal choice, and I don't feel compelled to fit into that stereotype. On the other hand, I don't disrespect other women who have made different choices. My sister is a fabulous stay at home mom, and I am so happy she could do that because it makes her happy. To say that feminists are all against having children is not accurate. To some degree, people just expect women to get married then start having kids. I don't think most feminist are actually against having kids, they just want women to realize they have choices, getting married and having kids is not something you have to do.

 

Its a very powerful article. I see it as a very personal statement made by someone (the author, Rebecca Walker) who grew up in the most unusual circumstances in general, and specifically with a mother who was both a feminist leader and unable to interact in ways that are far more normal with family.

I've met some people who reflect the mother's (Alice Walker's) personality: all movement and an inability to interact with anyone except within the framework of their deep attachment to a movement.

In working in the Washington DC area I ended up working with the heads of 2 different organizations one dramatically left wing and one dramatically right wing.

What was similar was that regardless of the issue and item discussed the principal who was so caught up in their beliefs couldn't discuss anything without bringing in their movement perspective.

The employees beneath them at times had a hard time with that unusual perspective.

I suppose it benefits the movement in which they believe, but as the article points out, all too poignently, it deprived her daughter of the most basic interactions between mother and daughter.

I salute the advances of feminism over the decades. An enormous amount of human talent is available to a wider world in for so many females that some years and decades ago had no opportunities and far fewer choices.

Meanwhile each person stakes their position within the framework of these movements.

I'm sorry for the article writer with regard to the personal interactions she missed out on. Both the writer and the article hold out hope for some mother/daughter and grandmother/grandchild interaction in the future.

For the benefit of all, I hope it happens.

 

Sounds like most "males" in college today, worse are those coming out of high school who you can't even tell if they are male or female unless you were their doctor.

"que emo photos here"

 

IF, that what Alice taught Rebecca, then Alice was wrong.

Feminism is about choices for women, and absolutely, having children is one of the choices women should be able to make without being discouraged or demeaned.

One of the results of equal rights is that we now send women to war, regardless of whether or not they are mothers and or single parents. I don't know of any other country or culture that sends single mothers off to war. And I think it's sick. We can include single Dads in my rant too, I don't want to make orphans either way.

 

You can bet modern feminism has crippled America, it is the reason the modern family is the way it is.. torn apart and disconnected. I trace a lot of problems back to this movement actually. For the frothing at the mouth feminists, you realize you can't play the best of both worlds? For instance, you can't have all the same rights as a man and be treated with some extra respect? Because that might make men.. inferior? Less rights?

I can't blame most women though, I couldn't imagine being one in this age, I'd probably become one myself. Men play their part too, just as much, and it all comes down to what came first, the chicken or the egg.

It all makes me just wanna go to sleep, all this depressing shit. The world isn't right anymore, and this is one of those problems that makes me wanna go to sleep.

 

I'm glad the world's problems don't interfere with nap time!

 

All hail Naptime!

I prefer to think of myself as an equal rights advocate, however also on the conservative spectrum. No special deals, and no special benefits (with the exception being maternity leave of course) in regard to being female. Treated equally, given the same chance, and given the same educational opportunities and wages. However, boosting income, giving special privileges, or outright favoring women over men in the law I am against. Everyone should be on equal footing, and what you make with it is what counts.

If a woman wishes to enlist and fight on the front lines, I have no problem at all. Fighter pilots, ship captains, President of the U.S.A. (please god not Hillary) any of that I see as acceptable and proper in the age of equality. I would not blink an eye if a woman wanted to play American Football in the NFL, just the same as I could care less if they wanted to be a Navy SEAL - I just don't care. If it is what they want to do, and they can do it, more power to them.

Same with men, there are already hair designers, interior decorators, and everything else under the sun, so... whatever. I do not see any single job that would require a certain gender over another except those filth industries that deal in the flesh (you can't have female strippers with men, no matter how much the surgery costs... and vice versa). I believe that the natural dimorphism between males and females of our species are insignificant in their values, hence I see absolutely nothing that could cause a problem except stupidity of the opposite gender (idiot males harassing etc).

 

Commie. A real woman gives birth and goes back to work 10 minutes later!

 

I think it is silly to believe that men and women are equal. They are equal in their humanity, and equal as individuals. But they are not equal mentally, emotionally or physically. They are in fact, quite different, and rightfully so.

Equality is a dangerous word. I prefer it used when defining negative rights, not positive ones (obligations).

A person in a wheelchair is not equal in their capacity to work or opportunities to work as to someone who has full use of their legs. They are however equal in their right to own property, free speech, and pursue happiness.

 

I think it is silly to equate equality with equality of opportunity.

I don't think this concept is evil personified.

 

I agree with you. I personally think the feminist movement was taken WAAAYYYY to far and has helped tear apart one of the most important things: family.

Don't get me wrong, I think women should be treated equally as far as pay, etc. goes. I work in the IT field and I can't tell you how many men I have come across with my same education level and experience making 10k/year more than me. But, feminism went beyond that. I was always taught that if you wanted to be the "ultimate" woman, you would have 5 kids, a happy marriage, and work 60 hours a week doing anything a man can do. Feminism told women they were "weak" if they stayed home and took care of the children while the man went off to support the family.

I am a firm believer in staying home when I have kids and making a wonderful home for them and my husband. I want to be home to teach my children. There are so many kids out there getting in trouble because the parents are too busy working to afford the big screen TVs and not spending enough time teaching them about family and respect. It won't be demeaning to me to stay home while my husband makes the money. He's doing his part, and I'll be doing mine by raising our children properly. See, I never had a parent around when I was younger, they were always at WORK. Who is going to read to me? Help me with my homework? Walk me home from school? Take me to the park? And I want to make sure my kids never feel that way....

I also LOVE listening to Dr. Laura Schlessinger and many women have criticized me for doing so. She is STRONGLY against feminism and is seen by most women as an idiot because she believes women should stay home and take care of their children. She is very harsh sometimes with her callers, and is always misquoted by the media, so many people judge her before even listening to her message. I recommend any woman out there listen to her.

I do love the fact that I live in a world where I can become a paramedic, doctor, lawyer, fly to the moon, or be a CEO. But, I am willing to give that up to stay home and raise my children properly. And I see that as the ultimate job!

 

You are very cool. There are way more intelligent people on the 'net, than off.