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10 Funny jokes

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by sam_m, Mar 16, 2008.

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  1. #1
    Timing Is Everything


    A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, "You should've been here at 8:30!"
    The guy replies, "Why? What happened at 8:30?"

    What's in a Name?

    A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona."
    "There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"
    The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."


    Puppy Love

    Girl: Do you believe in puppy love?
    Boy: I tried it once, but their assholes are too small.

    Matching Colors

    A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"


    Mis-Interpretation

    Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
    Guest: I'll make my own bed.
    Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.

    Muffins

    Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy shit... A talking muffin!"


    One Armed Man

    How do you get a one-armed man out a tree?

    Wave to him

    Virgin and Washing Machine

    Q: What is the difference between a Virgin and a washing machine?
    A: The washing machine doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it!


    Sheep

    Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air.

    Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone."

    George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore."

    Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark . . . "

    The Drunk

    One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
    She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
    She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."
    He replies "BREASTS."
     
    sam_m, Mar 16, 2008 IP
    Loonm likes this.
  2. Loonm

    Loonm Peon

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    #2
    Puppy love and muffins are cool :)
     
    Loonm, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  3. pipsbank

    pipsbank Banned

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    #3
    Virgin and Washing Machine

    Q: What is the difference between a Virgin and a washing machine?
    A: The washing machine doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it!

    This one really cool
     
    pipsbank, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  4. oasis1984

    oasis1984 Peon

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    #4
    ha..ha...ha...good. It good.
     
    oasis1984, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  5. sks2120

    sks2120 Peon

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    #5
    hahaha wrong, but very funny :D
     
    sks2120, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  6. dairyman

    dairyman Notable Member

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    #6
    The last one is really funny ;) LOL
     
    dairyman, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  7. coderbari

    coderbari Well-Known Member

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    #7
    These jokes are really funny.I liked the puppy love :D
     
    coderbari, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  8. getjimmy

    getjimmy Prominent Member

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    #8
    Cool jokes,specially the 1st one.
     
    getjimmy, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  9. Avatar Viper

    Avatar Viper Well-Known Member

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    #9
    nice..... lol....
     
    Avatar Viper, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  10. e = mc²

    e = mc² Peon

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    #10
    The 1st one is Nice.
    Thanks,
    e = mc²
     
    e = mc², Mar 16, 2008 IP
  11. Boardwalk

    Boardwalk Well-Known Member

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    #11
    ^ It pwnzz!! :D
     
    Boardwalk, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  12. digitalduke

    digitalduke Notable Member

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    #12
    I like this one :D
     
    digitalduke, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  13. MindGames

    MindGames Peon

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    #13
    Old but funny.
     
    MindGames, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  14. dynashox

    dynashox Premium Member Staff

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    #14
    Lol..... I love this one. :D
     
    dynashox, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  15. scubita

    scubita Peon

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    #15
    Virgin and drunk Man...! :D lmao Thanks for those!
     
    scubita, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  16. sam_m

    sam_m Peon

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    #16
    maybe i should put more up
     
    sam_m, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  17. Zerosleep

    Zerosleep Established User

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    #17
    LOL!! The Muffin jokes is very funny
     
    Zerosleep, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  18. myadsense

    myadsense Peon

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    #18
    :D thanks for sharing these cool jokes..I liked the virgin one
     
    myadsense, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  19. greekhand

    greekhand Active Member

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    #19
    I liked almost all of them , great post !
     
    greekhand, Mar 16, 2008 IP
  20. Dallas™

    Dallas™ Peon

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    #20
    haha, koodos to the muffin.
     
    Dallas™, Mar 16, 2008 IP
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