And Now, For Something Completely Different

A little light refreshment for a forum that takes a link to an internet directory waaay too seriously. I wandered outta Dmoz a week ago, been kinda busy with other work, and while clearing a few things off the drive I ran across something I penned for a Penguin Forum thread in days when things were a bit more light-hearted there. It's a tongue in cheek compendium of all the stereotypes, so try not to read too much into it, but thought some here might enjoy. Consider it my swan song.

For your viewing pleasure and with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan for the blatant ripoff...

The Very Model of a Modern Meta Editor

META:
I am the very model of a modern Meta-Editor
I've added fifty thousand sites, though none from a competitor,
I know the FAQ and memorized the tree in Regional
From Albuquerque to Zaire there is no-one with such recall;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters somewhat topical,
My well of knowledge is much deeper than the seas so tropical,
When asked about the internet, I know the things you need to hear
Like when does Lycos update and the reason AOL's so queer.

CHORUS:
Like when does Lycos update and the reason AOL's so queer.
Like when does Lycos update and the reason AOL's so queer.
Like when does Lycos update and the reason AOL's so queer.

META:
I'm very good at Topical and Regional taxonomy;
I also know how editors get fired (we have a lottery)
In short, in matters ODP, unlike weak chum competitors,
I am the very model of a modern Meta-Editor.

CHORUS:
In short, in matters ODP, unlike weak chum competitors,
He is the very model of a modern Meta-Editor.

META:
I know ODP history, from Newhoo to Odenvious,
I've read your edit logs before your screens refresh, I'm serious,
I sometimes find myself slipping and talking in encoded text,
If Robozilla wants a date I'd like to try computer sex.

I know if you are lying 'bout the site you cooled the day you came
I spot the re-treads faster than they can pick out their next new name
I still remember every thread I've read and who mis-spelled a word
My dictionarious knowledge is a legend that I'm sure you've heard.

CHORUS:
His dictionarious knowledge is a legend that I'm sure you've heard.
His dictionarious knowledge is a legend that I'm sure you've heard.
His dictionarious knowledge is a legend that I'm sure you've heard.

META:
I spend my morning turning down all requests categorical,
If you would beg and grovel I might bend, but that's rhetorical.
In short, in matters ODP, unlike weak chum competitors,
I am the very model of a modern Meta-Editor.

CHORUS:
In short, in matters ODP, unlike weak chum competitors,
He is the very model of a modern Meta-Editor.

META:
If Einstein applied to edit Physics, I'd remind him that
Until he gets some edits, he'd best re-apply for lower cats.
I'm not impressed at all by all your time in the philosophy
And please don't try to whine to staff, cause no one is the boss of me.

CHORUS:
And please don't try to whine to staff, cause no one is the boss of he.
And please don't try to whine to staff, cause no one is the boss of he.
And please don't try to whine to staff, cause no one is the boss of he.

META:
For HTML knowledge I am quite the knowledge fountainous
I know a meta-tag from a Jpeg, our clients count on us.
In short, in matters ODP, unlike weak chum competitors,
I am the very model of a modern Meta-Editor.

CHORUS:
In short, in matters ODP, unlike weak chum competitors,
He is the very model of a modern Meta-Editor.


[I will now post this ridiculous message to the top of every forum]

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to persons alive or dead is hopefully so well concealed it won't hold up in court. No Penguins were harmed in typing this verse.

 

It's kind of a catch 22, Rob. If you've been an editor for awhile and done a lot of edits, you get interested in what's going on, and read inside and outside forums a lot.

Eventually, that gets pretty old because you realize nothing much ever changes and it's discouraging.

It's much better if you can just concentrate on editing, but you really don't want to do that either, unless you know where everything is heading, so you keep going around in circles.

I guess you just get to the point where you'd rather just get off the merry go round, and spend your time doing something else, which is what I'm doing, but I still find it interesting.

 

OMG, Rob, I can't stop laughing. Thanks for the memories cowboy, keep wearing that white hat of yours.

 

That is, quite seriously, the funniest thing I've seen all day. Tremendous parody!