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Can you read over my press release and offer a suggestion or two?

Discussion in 'General Marketing' started by drig, Dec 27, 2006.

  1. #1
    Hi, if you could, can you read over my press release and offer a few suggestions? Its for my new site http://www.imagehostingdirectory.com and will be distributed to prweb and prleap. Thanks.
    Ignore the odd formating.
     
    drig, Dec 27, 2006 IP
  2. YMC

    YMC Well-Known Member

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    #2
    You have to be careful when making blanket statements like that. Your claim is quite subjective in nature and probably could be easily disputed.

    Reads more like a review or directory submission than a press release. There's nothing that grabs the reader by the throat and shouts - "Hey, I've got something new over here! And it's really cool!"

    I would strongly recommend that you visit prweb or one of the press release distribution services and review some of their tips and suggestions on writing a press release.

    I doubt you will get a tremendous amount of response here, maybe a moderator will move this to the copywriting area for you. Even there, I suspect you may get more PMs from writers with bids than the feedback you are looking for.
     
    YMC, Dec 27, 2006 IP
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  3. marketjunction

    marketjunction Well-Known Member

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    #3
    It would hit my trash faster than a wino hitting a liquor store giving out free booze.

    I shouldn't have to read past the FIRST sentence to know what the PURPOSE of your press release is.

    I don't want to read an entire story to find out if the guy really gets the girl of his dreams at the end. Give me the ending first.

    Give me the MEAT first. Also, please see the AP style guide. If you plan on targeted any real media personnel, you'll want to writing in AP style.

    If increasing traffic and earnings is most important, why is at the end of a sentence?

    Remember, your press release isn't just a document of words, it's a sales piece.

    Also, don't read emotion into my text. I'm not being mean, just trying to help you think towards a better press release.
     
    marketjunction, Dec 27, 2006 IP
  4. jhmattern

    jhmattern Illustrious Member

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    #4
    Jason's brutal honesty is right on the money here.

    At the very least, proofread for basic spelling and grammar, such as "If you are interesting in making a listing."

    Also, it's rather short for a press release, which would be improved by adding a standard boilerplate component, that you're missing right now. Think of it as a basic "about us" kind of paragraph, giving additional background on the company / site. The boilerplate is generally the same on each release you send.

    With just a glance-over, I'd say this looks more like an advertisement than a press release, and like Jason said, it wouldn't be read by journalists. You need to remember to give them the basic who, what, when, where, and why up front, and they shouldn't have to dig into the release to find out what the news is. For the formatting issues, you can try using one of the templates at the site in my sig if you'd like. There are some press release writing tips as well. Revise it and post it again so we can see it.
     
    jhmattern, Dec 27, 2006 IP
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  5. Austars

    Austars Active Member

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    #5
    Austars, Dec 27, 2006 IP
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  6. JEET

    JEET Notable Member

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    #6
    No hard feelings, but it sure looks more like an advertisement than a press release... Not exactly an advertisement as well. ;)

    Start by mentioning a date, location or country.
    Then try and answer the 4W's.
    Avoid "questionable points" like mentioned above, ("until now that is, there have never been any quality websites"...)
    Include your contact information as well.

    Try again, harder this time...
    I'm sure you will get it right :)
    Bye :)
     
    JEET, Dec 27, 2006 IP
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  7. marketjunction

    marketjunction Well-Known Member

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    #7
    marketjunction, Dec 27, 2006 IP
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  8. drig

    drig Peon

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    #8
    GREAT AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Id rather have you be blunt, then me submit the press release and look like a fool. No hard feelings. I figured there would be a few typos, but I wanted to post it up anyways and get a general feel for the whole PR. Ill be taking a look at the links you all provided in the morning as well as updating my press release (pretty much a rewrite) and posting it up here. Again, thanks for the help, Ive added green rep to all of you!
     
    drig, Dec 27, 2006 IP
  9. whatsthedeal

    whatsthedeal Active Member

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    #9
    Hi,

    I am a degreed writer (major: tech writing/journalism) and I have a great deal of press release writing experience. As part of my job (marketing coordinator for bulk printing company) I am required to do numerous press release every quarter. I use the $200 paid program via PRWeb and attain outstanding results. Ill copy and paste the numbers of my last 3 press releases.

    158,443/2,459/0/3/9

    98,381/792/3/7/23

    107,454/1,149/0/10/141

    (reads/estimated pickup/prints/forwards/PDF downloads)


    Here is how I do it consistently.

    1. Make sure your PR is newsworthy
    2. Stay concise in proper writing format
    3. MUST have a great headline with keywords
    4. MUST have keywords repeated 3 to 6 times in body content
    5. Include ONE very strong quote directly related to headline
    6. PAY FOR ANCHOR TEXT and GRAPHIC LINKS TO YOUR SITE


    My numbers don't lie. I am highly experienced with this and my numbers are usually 100K+ reads...most people get about 30K-50K if they are lucky.

    Let me know if this helps. Thanks!
     
    whatsthedeal, Dec 28, 2006 IP
  10. jhmattern

    jhmattern Illustrious Member

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    #10
    PRweb numbers mean very little, as they're all estimates. You can get similar "views" for much less than $200 there as well. What matters is how many honest "pickups" the release gets; not "reads." And the pickup number PRweb lists means nothing. You need to track it yourself or hire a tracking / clipping service to find out real numbers.
     
    jhmattern, Dec 28, 2006 IP
  11. whatsthedeal

    whatsthedeal Active Member

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    #11
    that is not so true.
    the higher the read number, the more times your PR is being accessed. for example my PR that has 150K+ read is associated with a particular landing page for my company's site. this landing page skyrocketed in google's search engine under a huge search term as my press release numbers increased. this landing page received high traffic solely due to the press release's distribution and the thousands of people who accessed it online through various industry-specific news providers. and the best part is this, once your press release helps your landing pages SEO...the googel search function allows people to search for your keywords and automatically find you in the search results...thus increasing your rank even more!

    it is a circular process which develops itself with a little elbow grease and proper marketing knowledge.
     
    whatsthedeal, Dec 28, 2006 IP
  12. jhmattern

    jhmattern Illustrious Member

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    #12
    Actually that is true, and PR is my profession. I've used a wide variety of distribution options, as well as tracking options. PRweb's is awful in that regard, and it's not a good idea to base claims on your credentials on those numbers. I'm not saying you're not good. You may very well be. People here are simply often misled by what PRweb's numbers actually mean.

    Being "accessed" is not technically being "read" for starters. Journalists don't read every release they access. They often scan the headline and summary, and then move on immediately if it doesn't impress them.

    While you can get traffic directly from a press release, you also have to keep in mind that it's not the most highly "targeted" traffic. The target audience of a website is the end reader... not journalists and bloggers (who would make up a large portion of "readers" depending on your upgrade options and "blasts" included in that). You simply want them to pick up the story and expose it (and your url) to a wider audience. Even with some people seeing your site and following a url from a news reader, it would actually be impossible to verify to the client that that's what's happening to any degree, b/c the stats don't provide details, and being displayed in a newsreader doesn't constitute being "read". On top of that, trying to use newsreaders as a selling point when you can't verify stats defeats enormously more benefits (exposure-wise and SEO-wise) than your clients would receive by properly targeting the releases to media outlets as they're intended.

    There also isn't always a direct correlation between "reads" on PRweb and actual site traffic at all. If the release is that good, they won't need to go to the site; they'll have all of the background they need, and they'll pick up a phone or shoot out an email to get an interview set up for a real story, which in turn leads to better (often permanent) backlinks on relevant authority sites rather than news feeds and distribution sites.
     
    jhmattern, Dec 28, 2006 IP
  13. whatsthedeal

    whatsthedeal Active Member

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    #13
    I agree with most of that. PRWeb's numbers aren't the most accurate for sure, but they do provide a means to measure the "success" of your PR. All a marketing manager/writer can do is prepare and submit a first-rate PR with all of the theories of SEO, keywords, headlines, etc in place and optimized.

    I think we can all agree on one thing, if the PR isn't newsworthy and doesn't have a banging headline, it's going nowhere fast!
     
    whatsthedeal, Dec 28, 2006 IP
  14. drig

    drig Peon

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    #14
    Should my press release maybe be about how the number of "niche" directories are growing with a plug for my site? I DO want a newsworthy PR, but Im still not sure how to go about that. Thanks.
     
    drig, Dec 28, 2006 IP
  15. jhmattern

    jhmattern Illustrious Member

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    #15
    Would you be able to back it up with stats? Just to say it's "growing" doesn't mean much to a journalist. How much is it growing? How many niche directories are there now versus this time last year? etc. You probably won't find those number. If you can get a quote from someone well known in the directory industry saying something to that effect, it might lend enough credibility to it to make it worth trying.

    What about your particular niche? Is there anything quite like it? If so, can you somehow "tweak" your directory to give it a slightly unique spin? If you can, then do it, and focus the release on the unique features you're offering. Directories by their nature aren't terribly newsworthy. That doesn't mean you couldn't make it so though.

    1. You could add a unique feature like I mentioned above.
    2. If it's a paid directory, you can have a portion of sales go to charity.
    3. You could put the emphasis on actual visitors instead of webmasters, and have the release target them, touting the site as a great resource to "find" information in a niche, instead of just trying to get people to sign up their sites.
    4. If it's a free directory, still target visitors, and encourage them somehow to add their favorite sites in the niche. You'll get better-known sites that way. You could also add a sort of voting / poll feature to have visitors choose their favorite resource in the directory from a few of your top picks, and have those featured on the home page. If you add regular voting (like site of the week, month, etc.), you might even be able to build a reputation for it, and get some quality backlinks from the "winning" sites over time, and can issue releases about the initial "contest" or winners.

    (I didn't re-read the release, so sorry if that doesn't all apply to you... they're just general directory-related ideas).
     
    jhmattern, Dec 28, 2006 IP
  16. drig

    drig Peon

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    #16
    That really helps and Im still working on the rewrite. Its sort of extreme niche and Ive already put a lot of money into the site. Im actually doing it to keep me busy, try out a directory, practice marketing / seo, hopefully give back some, and to also maybe make a few $$. I really like the charity idea and will start researching some charities and whatnot. Thanks for the awesome tip. More rep given.
     
    drig, Dec 28, 2006 IP
  17. marketjunction

    marketjunction Well-Known Member

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    #17
    You don't need to spend $200 at PR web to get 1,000 estimated pickups. Try their $80 plan and see how that works for you.

    In fact, you can get 1,000 pick ups with just 30k views.
     
    marketjunction, Dec 28, 2006 IP
  18. drig

    drig Peon

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    #18
    Ill actually be going for the $40 submission. Already spend quite a bit on dev and marketing costs, with only a few links submitted. Good thing this is all a long term plan.
     
    drig, Dec 28, 2006 IP
  19. marketjunction

    marketjunction Well-Known Member

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    #19
    Yea, give that a try and see how you do. Maybe next time try a step up and compare.
     
    marketjunction, Dec 28, 2006 IP
  20. drig

    drig Peon

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    #20
    Not finished or even proof read, but here is the new direction:
     
    drig, Dec 28, 2006 IP