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Character Assassination.. Need Advice please.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by jimmy turner, Mar 25, 2015.

  1. #1
    Hello Everyone, I want to take the opportunity as a first timer on this site to talk about a social issue that many people find intimidating. I hope I can get a wise advice.
    We all have this friend who is categorized as a "gossiper", who talks and back stabs his friends when not present to defend themselves. This is often defined as character assassination.
    I am a college student, 21, and I have this friend who I've known since my freshman year. We weren't that close during the first two years where he sounded as a very friendly person who understands the meaning of friendship. After getting to know that person on deeper levels, however, I realized that he is not what I thought at first. I realized that this person is very judgmental. He judges everyone he meets based on how they look and what they say. He analyzes everyone he meets and tries to interpret their intentions and talks about how self-conscious these people are. This guy is a pro-stalker.He stalked and analyzed every student I knew on campus, and what makes it worse is that he is not ashamed of admitting it.This might sound as trolling, but no, this is reality. Why am I saying all this? Because this guy tried to put me down before a very big test by telling me that I am not going to do well, and when I didn't, I saw happiness in his eyes, he told everyone that I didn't do well. However, this guy was helpful and supportive in many different situations and I do consider him as a good person deep inside.
    I am writing this because what happened today was very intimidating and nerve racking for me. Well, I was out with my friends couple of days ago, and I got really drunk. One of my drunk mutual friends recorded my confessions and sent them to that guy, "Our best friend". What surprised me is that he analyzed every chunk of what I said and applied his Freudian theories on it and started telling my friends that those confessions are lies and that its all in my subconscious, although those confessions were true,though a bit embarrassing, lol. What annoys me the most out of all of what I said, is that all of my friends believe what he says and it is pissing me off. How do you guys think I should act or what decision should I come up with. I don't really want to confront him because I don't really consider him as a "best friend" any more.
    I do apologize for his long thread, I kinda did let everything out, haha. Thank you in advance guys.
     
    jimmy turner, Mar 25, 2015 IP
  2. spiderbyte

    spiderbyte Active Member

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    #2
    He is a toxic friend. You are in college and there are so many other people to hang out with. You should really branch out away from this guy.

    Also, don't let other people's opinions and comments mess with your grades!! It's not with it!
     
    spiderbyte, Mar 25, 2015 IP
  3. jimmy turner

    jimmy turner Peon

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    #3
    Thank you sir, this is what I think as well, but how? I mean, should I cut all of those people out of my life or how should I deal with it? We have been friends for so long, like we shared personal stories and secrets, they are not just "colleagues." I don't want to confront that guy anyways either, as I said I don't consider him a "best friend" anymore. Do you think that my mutual friend should have recorded what I said when I was super drunk, like is it normal?
    Btw when I said he stalks people, I meant on Facebook and other social media and not in person.
     
    jimmy turner, Mar 25, 2015 IP
  4. jrbiz

    jrbiz Acclaimed Member

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    #4
    @spiderbyte gave you some good advice. I suggest that you "wean" yourself off of the negative people in your current circle. Broaden your activities to meet new people and develop new friendships. As you find better friends, you can see less and less of the negative folks.

    Now, if you really want to annoy the negative people, completely ignore their chitter/chatter. In fact, begin to see it for what it is: the desperate attempt of insecure and insignificant people to try to portray themselves as people of power or authority or knowledge or whatever. When you see them going through their nasty stalking, rumor-mongering, etc., look clearly and you will see how pathetic these folks actually are. When they begin to recognize that you see right through them and only feel amused by and saddened for them, they will move on to others who might buy into their nastiness.
     
    jrbiz, Mar 25, 2015 IP
    Content Maestro likes this.
  5. Content Maestro

    Content Maestro Notable Member

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    #5
    Not sure why you would wanna do that, but if you're trying to hide the content you posted there originally, it's of no avail as the text you first posted is still visible through History.
     
    Content Maestro, Mar 27, 2015 IP
    jrbiz likes this.
  6. jrbiz

    jrbiz Acclaimed Member

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    #6
    What happened to the OP's original post???

    @Content Maestro I am not sure what you saw from the OP, but my recollection is that his original post was about a toxic friend and others and I do not recall it having anything to do with hiding historical posts. Strange things have happened on this thread.
     
    jrbiz, Mar 28, 2015 IP
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  7. dscurlock

    dscurlock Prominent Member

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    #7
    Lost & Found:
    • Hello Everyone, I want to take the opportunity as a first timer on this site to talk about a social issue that many people find intimidating. I hope I can get a wise advice.
      We all have this friend who is categorized as a "gossiper", who talks and back stabs his friends when not present to defend themselves. This is often defined as character assassination.
      I am a college student, 21, and I have this friend who I've known since my freshman year. We weren't that close during the first two years where he sounded as a very friendly person who understands the meaning of friendship. After getting to know that person on deeper levels, however, I realized that he is not what I thought at first. I realized that this person is very judgmental. He judges everyone he meets based on how they look and what they say. He analyzes everyone he meets and tries to interpret their intentions and talks about how self-conscious these people are. This guy is a pro-stalker.He stalked and analyzed every student I knew on campus, and what makes it worse is that he is not ashamed of admitting it.This might sound as trolling, but no, this is reality. Why am I saying all this? Because this guy tried to put me down before a very big test by telling me that I am not going to do well, and when I didn't, I saw happiness in his eyes, he told everyone that I didn't do well. However, this guy was helpful and supportive in many different situations and I do consider him as a good person deep inside.
      I am writing this because what happened today was very intimidating and nerve racking for me. Well, I was out with my friends couple of days ago, and I got really drunk. One of my drunk mutual friends recorded my confessions and sent them to that guy, "Our best friend". What surprised me is that he analyzed every chunk of what I said and applied his Freudian theories on it and started telling my friends that those confessions are lies and that its all in my subconscious, although those confessions were true,though a bit embarrassing, lol. What annoys me the most out of all of what I said, is that all of my friends believe what he says and it is pissing me off. How do you guys think I should act or what decision should I come up with. I don't really want to confront him because I don't really consider him as a "best friend" any more.
      I do apologize for his long thread, I kinda did let everything out, haha. Thank you in advance guys.
    Want to keep a secret?
    Dont post on a public forum.

    You need to get your priorities in order. Why are you going to college? you seem so concerned with what this other guy is doing, are you sleeping with him? friends or not, this loser is not going to take care of you when collage is over, and he is going to move into his own life like most collage students do when they get out of collage, or return back home to the parents....

    Get some help; however, it
    seems, loser friend needs more help....

    Get your education...
    and move on with your life...
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2015
    dscurlock, Mar 28, 2015 IP
    Content Maestro and jrbiz like this.
  8. Senobia

    Senobia Notable Member

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    #8
    This is the part you're confused about.

    He's not 'a friend' and should have been dismissed as such a long, long time ago.
     
    Senobia, Apr 6, 2015 IP
    jrbiz likes this.