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How do you feel about public speaking?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Aakrit Gupta, Dec 6, 2014.

  1. #1
    i can't speak loudly in public , don't know why??
     
    Aakrit Gupta, Dec 6, 2014 IP
  2. jrbiz

    jrbiz Acclaimed Member

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    #2
    As a sales/marketing guy, I happen to be an accomplished public speaker. I have spoken at events in front of hundreds of businesspeople at a time, in fact, over the years. Before that, I was a professional musician and actually performed in front of thousands of people at various events. In my experience, doing a good job speaking publicly requires two main things:

    1. Strong knowledge and understanding of what you are speaking about.

    2. Practice, practice, practice.

    If you make sure that you have covered #1 and #2, this will provide the secret ingredient to successful public speaking: CONFIDENCE!
     
    jrbiz, Dec 6, 2014 IP
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  3. jmjsolutions

    jmjsolutions Greenhorn

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    #3
    You could probably benefit from joining Toastmasters International, a club that teaches public speaking skills. It is very affordable. In the U.S., the club I joined was only $30 every 6 months or so. Not sure what part of the world you are in, but local Toastmasters clubs are available in 126 countries.

    I joined Toastmasters for a while because I wanted to improve my speaking skills. You get to practice making and performing speeches in front of the club and you learn by doing and receiving feedback from other members. I definitely recommend it for anyone who wants to get more comfortable with speaking in front of an audience.
     
    jmjsolutions, Dec 6, 2014 IP
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  4. qwikad.com

    qwikad.com Illustrious Member Affiliate Manager

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    #4
    Something I've noticed, over the years, when it comes to public speaking: The more of a perfectionist you are the harder it is to enjoy being in front of a large group of people. If you're not a perfectionist and have the ability to just be yourself in front of other people, public speaking won't seem like an impossible task at all.
     
    qwikad.com, Dec 6, 2014 IP
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  5. Content Maestro

    Content Maestro Notable Member

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    #5
    Isn't it so with everything in life? The more perfect you try to be at something, the more tensed up you get and this causes a lot of creative energy to be drained. Relaxing a bit helps you to cool off and deal with the fear of failing or not performing up to the mark. (Well, in this case it's stage fright.) Being focused, calm and relaxed helps you to channel the same energy effectively.

    It is ONLY fear that causes all the mischief and distances us from our goals. The nervousness you feel before a large audience is simply this nagging fear which tells you “No, you can't do it. Step back!” Never allow fear to rule you and dictate what you should do. Every single time you allow it to control you, your confidence to achieve your goal is corroded. On the other hand, every single time you drive it off and tell yourself “I'm getting increasingly better at <insert 'public speaking' here in this case> and now I'm going to do it perfectly”, your confidence boosts and you're one step closer to your goal.

    I'll cite some quotes here which will put the feeling of fear for you in a proper perspective:
    * “Fear stifles our thinking and actions. It creates indecisiveness that results in stagnation. I have known talented people who procrastinate indefinitely rather than risk failure. Lost opportunities cause erosion of confidence, and the downward spiral begins.” - Charles Stanley
    * “I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” - Rosa Parks
    * “One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.” - Henry Ford
    * “Fear can be good when you're walking past an alley at night or when you need to check the locks on your doors before you go to bed, but it's not good when you have a goal and you're fearful of obstacles. We often get trapped by our fears, but anyone who has had success has failed before.” - Queen Latifah
    * “Always do what you are afraid to do.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
    * “What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.” - Jiddu Krishnamurti
    * “Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is freedom.” - Marilyn Ferguson
    * “Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” - Helen Keller
    OK OK, nuff said, I know.;)
    Successful figures we know today were people just like us who overcame this fear and that's precisely what makes them extraordinary or great.

    Fear is in most cases an unreasonable reaction just like anger. It is a feeling you have before the unknown or what's yet unexplored. Just picture this – There's a remote space in your backyard where you've never been before. Naturally, you will be somewhat afraid to go there every time you think of it. This continues for quite a while but one fine day, you make up your mind and say 'What the heck, I'm just gonna go there and check that hell of a place out!' :mad: Well, you go there despite all your fears, prejudices and notions and to your surprise you find out that it's a space just like any other in your house! >:O Will, then, you be afraid again to go there? Obviously not. Same applies to everything else. Do the thing you fear and fear vanishes at that moment. Easier said than done but then that's the only way out.

    Just follow the following simple outline which will enable you to effectively deal with your fear:
    1. Ask yourself, “What is it that I'm so much scared of?” The moment you visualize clearly the cause of your fear, fear diminishes considerably.
    2. Think of the worst that can happen if you fail or don't perform as expected. What's the worst that will happen if you stammer of fumble before the audience? People may laugh at you, ridicule you, call you names, pick at you ….... whatever it is, you'll be definitely embarrassed. :$ But hey, it's OK! 'Nobody is perfect' and no one ever was able to deliver a perfect speech right from the word go (unless of course that person is some sort of a prodigy :)). Failures, disappointments and embarrassments are all a part of the game and should in fact be taken as a reason or an opportunity to start afresh and apply yourself even better the next time you attempt the same thing. You learn something from every stumble and as such you are a better person after every fall. Thinking about the worst that can happen enables you to deal with the situation with composure.
    3. Picture yourself speaking clearly and confidently before a large concert full of people staring widely and intently at you. This will take a lot of stress out. Try to imagine as vividly and lively as you can. The realer it seems to you while picturing, the less you will be afraid and more confident while performing actually.
    4. A major part of stage fright is about what people might think of you when you speak. To overcome this, stand before a mirror and rehearse. When you are able to see yourself, much of your stress is dissolved. You get a precise picture of how you appear or will appear when speaking publicly and it will enable you to improve your delivery in a very professional manner.
    5. Don't forget ultimately that the audience is nothing but a group of individuals just like you, me or anyone else. You are dealing with humans that behave and respond just like you. Seeing it thus, public speaking becomes merely a matter of one individual communicating and interacting with another.

    @jrbiz hit the nail right on the head though. Public speaking for the most part is about communicating effectively and clarity of thought or understanding is its key factor. Whatever it is you're going to speak about, research the topic thoroughly (even though you have a strong knowledge of it) and keep revising your understanding. When you know clearly what you are trying to convey to the person in front, words flow out of your mouth smoothly and fluently without the least interruption. Moreover, 'practice makes a man perfect'. So, practice, practice, practice …..... till you have the confidence.

    My 2c.
    Hope this helps.
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2014
    Content Maestro, Dec 7, 2014 IP
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  6. rocmarjon79

    rocmarjon79 Member

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    #6
    I listen to Charles Stanley occasionally but I was a huge fan of his teachings because he seemed the most genuine. However I could no longer ignore his political views in a few of his sermons and I thought I once heard him take a jab at other teachers because he thought they were preaching what people "wanted to hear" for ex: Joel Osteen. But Osteen has a different style and it is much appreciated by some. My point is I find him to be judgmental at times, especially for someone who is divorce. I am not taking away from Stanley's sermons which are powerful and have helped me many times, emphasis on his sermons about fear and anxiety. But sometimes he strays from the bible and its bugs me.
     
    rocmarjon79, Dec 10, 2014 IP
  7. lifeplayer

    lifeplayer Notable Member

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    #7
    Leak of confident is the reason. To overcome this problem, you need to gain more knowledge and practice more
     
    lifeplayer, Dec 23, 2014 IP
  8. TopForum.Ir

    TopForum.Ir Active Member

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    #8
    You are in a place with some people. Imagine them as sheeps around you. So you can easily speak loudly and proudly. It works (100% guarantee).
     
    TopForum.Ir, Dec 24, 2014 IP
  9. Content Maestro

    Content Maestro Notable Member

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    #9
    Hehe >:->. The problem is, most of the times we imagine ourselves to be the sheep surrounded by people and that's probably why we fear public speaking.:)
     
    Content Maestro, Dec 24, 2014 IP
  10. jrbiz

    jrbiz Acclaimed Member

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    #10
    I have heard some "experts' suggest that picturing the audience all sitting there in their underwear is another such technique to reduce stress.
     
    jrbiz, Dec 24, 2014 IP
  11. Content Maestro

    Content Maestro Notable Member

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    #11
    A variation of this advice goes even one step further - http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ImagineTheAudienceNaked !! :eek::oops:
    Frankly speaking, imagining some people in their underw**r makes me even more nervous! :O D:<
     
    Content Maestro, Dec 24, 2014 IP
  12. jrbiz

    jrbiz Acclaimed Member

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    #12
    LOL...it's funny because I actually ENJOY public speaking and look forward to each opportunity. I suppose that I still get minor "butterflies in the stomach" a few minutes before the engagement begins, but once I start speaking, I am mostly having fun and enjoying it.
     
    jrbiz, Dec 25, 2014 IP
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  13. pilot35

    pilot35 Active Member

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    #13
    This is one of the things I really suck at doing, which is why I always attempt to avoid doing it whenever possible. It is because of introversion and anxiety, but mostly anxiety.
     
    pilot35, Jan 4, 2015 IP
  14. Dean_Saliba

    Dean_Saliba Notable Member

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    #14
    Last year I actually turned down a great opportunity to give my site a massive boost when I was offered a chance to talk at a big UK conference in Birmingham about how I make money online. I really wanted to do it, but I'm scared of talking in public so sadly I had to decline and I'll be kicking myself for the rest of my life!
     
    Dean_Saliba, Jan 4, 2015 IP
  15. Pigeon Yoga

    Pigeon Yoga Active Member

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    #15
    I've always found it hard, especially if I'm talking about a subject I don't know well. In college it was helpful to do class projects which made me get better but never really took the edge away. Have you tried picturing the audience naked? Its cliched but actually helped me...
     
    Pigeon Yoga, Jan 4, 2015 IP
  16. blueparukia

    blueparukia Well-Known Member

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    #16
    I'm a reasonably good public speaker, and can recite about a half hour of script off of memory, but as soon as a camera is on me, I lock down completely and require a teleporompt at least.
     
    blueparukia, Jan 4, 2015 IP
  17. Content Maestro

    Content Maestro Notable Member

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    #17
    This trick is a bit overhyped and the problem is it will NOT work every time. What if the speaker is a young man and the audience is full of beautiful and attractive young women? In such a scenario, imagining the audience 'November Alpha Kilo Echo Delta' is bound to backfire on the speaker by distracting him and making him even more nervous. This blog will explain my point better – http://blog.jvf.com/2009/01/24/publ...ce-in-their-underwear-makes-you-less-nervous/.
     
    Content Maestro, Jan 4, 2015 IP
  18. blueparukia

    blueparukia Well-Known Member

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    #18
    At least in that situation, you have an extra leg to stand on.
     
    blueparukia, Jan 4, 2015 IP