1. Advertising
    y u no do it?

    Advertising (learn more)

    Advertise virtually anything here, with CPM banner ads, CPM email ads and CPC contextual links. You can target relevant areas of the site and show ads based on geographical location of the user if you wish.

    Starts at just $1 per CPM or $0.10 per CPC.

Please help

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by RichardRosse, Oct 9, 2006.

  1. dito199

    dito199 Peon

    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    1
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #21
    RichardRosse, some more pointers to improve the page.

    The invoice is in the mail :cool:
     

    Attached Files:

    dito199, Oct 12, 2006 IP
    Mr Crow likes this.
  2. RichardRosse

    RichardRosse Peon

    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    7
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #22
    Wow!!!
    I love this forum :)

    You are guys surely professionals!
    Where can I get these kind of graphics? are there any free sites to do that?
     
    RichardRosse, Oct 13, 2006 IP
  3. geegel

    geegel Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    644
    Likes Received:
    47
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    145
    #23
    Try changing the headline. The current one is not exactly grabbing.

    A newsy one would be best I think for the sort of product you sell. Let me give you an example:

    Headline:
    "E-commerce drives the internet. How about getting a share of it?"

    Sub headline:
    "Paypal is the most succesful online paying system in the world today. It is now time to use it properly"

    The other subheadlines are also too neutral. Try replacing general ones like:

    "Passive income made easy"
    "List of features"

    With

    "You have the product, we have the expertise"
    "How does this actually work"

    I would also stay away from hype words like "easy" or "amazing". Also I would put a PS at the bottom, consisting of a hidden and important advantage. Take one from the feature list and put it there. The reason for this is quite simple. Most people scroll down to the end skipping the carefullly written copy. You're losing many potential customers this way.

    Hope this helps.

    Regards, George
     
    geegel, Oct 13, 2006 IP
  4. RichardRosse

    RichardRosse Peon

    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    7
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #24
    Ok, thanks again for the great tips.

    One thing that I can't do is putting a picture of money on the website because I think that it will make my customers run away :)

    I changed the overall look, I like the changes I did and I think that it's the final version.. unless someone is going to tell me that it's wrong wrong wrong :)
     
    RichardRosse, Oct 13, 2006 IP
  5. sd2001

    sd2001 Peon

    Messages:
    489
    Likes Received:
    27
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #25
    In your quote, "My income from this stream is above 2,500$ each month!" move that dollar sign to the front: $2,500.

    I wouldn't say that it's perfect, but I think everyone has given you a lot of tips that you can run with when you start tweaking and learning on your own. And that's really the best way to find what works. Good luck!
     
    sd2001, Oct 13, 2006 IP
  6. dito199

    dito199 Peon

    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    1
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #26
    There is never a final version of anything because it takes time to fine tune the page to perfection. Analyze others website, and learn how to incorporate what you like back into the site, and eventually you will have a strong and powerful landing page.

    The final rendition is much better. Good job and good luck!
     
    dito199, Oct 13, 2006 IP
  7. JEET

    JEET Notable Member

    Messages:
    3,825
    Likes Received:
    502
    Best Answers:
    19
    Trophy Points:
    265
    #27
    RichardRosse, I think you are not understanding the whole story here...

    Following are the things you already know:
    Your customers are people who are looking to automate their selling and download process.
    They are using paypal.
    They are already in search of programmers who can do the above task.
    You have done the task, they only need to purchase.

    Following is what you need to know, & "Understand":
    Your target customers are high sellers. I know this, because someone with 3 sales a month will not try and automate, or spend more money in automation than he is making.
    They are busy people, and need a solution immediately.
    High sellers already know what income, or passive income is. Trying to make them understand is a waste of both yours and their time.
    They are few in number, so each loss in sales is a massive loss.(This person will never return, because he will get a programmer and get it done from scratch, and use it on as many sites he likes.)
    They may or may not know about IPN.

    This is why:
    • You need to tell them that this page of yours has the solution for them! Otherwise, they won't read the second line on your site, forget reading the bottom.(No sales.)
    • You must do this on the very top and make it prominent enough so that's what is visible when anyone enters your site.
    • Once you tell them that you have a solution, you must make them understand that it is a part of paypal itself, and is exactly what they are looking for.
    • You already need more space than a computer screen, but you are still wasting the available with a picture. (By the way, what is that man in picture doing? I don't see how he is helping you convince your target customers...)
    • A testimonial must go after the first introduction at least, not make the introduction itself.
    Considering what you have now, I think you must switch back to what you had previously.

    P.S Thanks for including a suggestion in a bulleted list. You must mention that you also offer support for installation, if they still want it. Everyone likes to know if there is help available. You have created a product, you have done a complicated task, it's easy for you... But how do I know that it's equally easy for me, specially when I haven't even tried it? This is why tell them that there is free help available!
     
    JEET, Oct 13, 2006 IP
  8. geegel

    geegel Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    644
    Likes Received:
    47
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    145
    #28
    Definitely an improvement. Clean, short, to the point, cool and aggresive. Way to go. Heck, even I would buy it.

    There are still some typos you should take care, but only minor ones. The final result is quite impressive.

    Is that affiliate program of yours still up btw? :D

    Regards, George
     
    geegel, Oct 14, 2006 IP
  9. RichardRosse

    RichardRosse Peon

    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    7
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #29
    Thank you geegal!
    Thank you all guys for the great tips, I know it still has a long way to become a best seller, but I like it already :)

    It's time to put it to the test, I'll publish the performance of it in 2 weeks from now.

    Starting by tommorow (15/10), I'll count the money spent on advertising, the number of visitors and the buyers and publish a detailed report of it's performance.


    Thanks for your help!
    You sure helped me a lot!
     
    RichardRosse, Oct 14, 2006 IP