Review My Sales Page Please.

Please copywriters, I want you to take a critic look at my website here Tell me what I should edit, add or substract to increase conversions. Thanks.

 

love the smiley... well I can recomend to but the Name and email part of the squeez page a couple of <br> lower so it can be aligned with the video

 

First, I think you've done a good job.

I really like your " Who Else Wants To Discover The Secrets..." headline. A who else headline is proven so you've done good there.

And also, I like your subhead " Give me just 3 minutes... " that's great as well. The only thing that I felt was a problem was the voice in the video. It sounded very monotone. I would make the voice sound a little more lively.

Other than that I thought it was good.

Action.

 

Your opener is old hat that has been read so many, many, MANY times before that the odds are that many, many, MANY first-time visitors will roll their eyes at it.

The "who else wants to" is a very poor opener.

It may have worked twenty years ago, but it isn't as powerful now.

Some will keep on reading it, with some buying, but don't you want more than just, some?

There is no question mark after that statement, anyway. At least put one in there.

Next one down you have:

It's weak, but there are errors in it anyway. It should be:

Give Me Just Three Minutes, And I Promise It Will Be The Most Profitable Moment Of Your Life.
Watch The Video Below To Learn How You Can Do It. Then Tell me Where To Send You More Information.

Your video is God-awful. ... You know that.

There is also not enough info to get more to give you their e-mail address.

Why should I, as a potential customer, give you my personal address, JUST so I can enter your site?

Squeeze pages do not work that well because of that.

Put your "why-you-need-this" sales pitch on this page, with some free samples, tips.

And unless you are advertising and or you are selling high-commish products, you are not making $200 a day.

Be realistic, be more personable with your visitors, and you just may make more sales, too.

Sorry, but this needs a lot of work.

 

Perry Rose is right, you need to explain visitors why they need it.
Prove that your method works
Add testimonials
Change video
I like short sales pages, but yours is too short ))

 

It looks simple, short and unpretentious with no tall claims. That's a good start.

Really? I was so annoyed by that cartoon face that I took a swing at it with a baseball bat and ended up cracking my brand new PC monitor.

I don't need no cartoon piece o crap tellin me what to do or where to do it!

 

Wow, Perry Rose is right on the bat with his assessment of your squeeze page.

I didn't like the video per se and I'd say you could do with removing the video and replacing it with a picture that emulates a video but isn't really a video (that's a video in disguise) and when the user enters his details (e-mails and name) he gets access to the video. That approach has worked really well for me and I've seen conversion go through the roof.

Other than that, there's not much to add and anything I'd say would be reiterating Perry's post. So, get down to work and consider what Perry suggested. That should give you a good start.

 

Many thanks to you all for the suggestions. I will start the amendment right away. But, I want you to review the confirmation page for me which is the main sales page. Click here to review it