Long Distance Relationship

O.K here's my story..to start out...I am still in Highschool...got 2 years left..I live outside the US but am going to move back for college. Anyways, there's this girl that I've known since probably daycare....she's great, smart, everything...oh yeah and she is gorgeous!...so we've been talking alot online lately and I told her how I felt about her...she's ok and everything with it...but she said she cant date till she's 16(cause she got hurt by someone else like on the first date)...but she did say that she would go out with me. So to conclude this...I've got two years left where I am right now...and I really like this girl..and look forward to seeing her alot more when I go back this christmas and when I move up....so Q. anyone had experience with long distance relationships?
-Thankyou SO much for any advice

 

She must be quite sensitive to be hurt on a first date...

Anyway... yes, I've had a long distance relationship. Do you want me to be honest? It didn't work out. I'm not saying that all long distance relationships don't work, but they take alot more dedication and work than a normal relationship does.

I guess you have to think about how much time you are willing to invest in this girl, and in a relationship where you won't see your partner every day. It's really, really hard. You have to make sure you are prepared for it.

 

yeah I know its hard..well nah it was her boyfriend...she said he was a complete jerk...and just acted really bad...so actually he dumped her....I dont know everything...but yeah....I really like this girl....we have sooooooo much in common...we talk around 2 hours each day..well chat actually...but yeah...I am so looking forward to moving.

 

Well I spend my time either living in UK, Germany, or Bahrain (island off of east coast of Saudi Arabia) and my current girlfriend for two years lives in Hong Kong.

I guess it is fair to say that this is pretty long distance.

This is not an 'online' relationship, we didn't neet up in a chat room or anything like that, rather we both used to study together at college in the UK, she then moved back to Hong Kong after she finished her Diploma course.

That was a little over a year ago, so we have spent probably about 60% of our relationship sepperated by at least 8 hours of flying But we somehow manage very well with this horrible situation.

Now I think a major point to long distance relationships (as to wether they will ultimately suceed or not) is age.

Long distance relationships take dedication, money (after all long distance flights dont come cheap), resistance to natural urges (especially at those younger years), time, understanding among many other things.

As I see it, anyone below their 20's will have difficulty handling these things, and I am not trying to sound condescending I am just trying to give an honest reply.

Many would say thiings such as 'age doesn't matter as long as you love each other' but I think it unfair to ask anyone who hasn't had the experience, or number of relationships as a 20+ year old wether or not they 'love' someone, to the extent that would be needed.

The other undeniable fact is that the oyunger you are, the easier the heart heals, and the easier it is to move on and seek new, healthier relationships.

From the sound of your initial post, you are still a young, vibrant lad with plenty of years full of foolishness before you

This decision is nothing about 'trying to be mature', or 'she is the only one, nothing matters as long as we love each other', or even 'she is SO hot!' (afterall, great looks loose their meaning at long distances)

Anywho far let it be for me to lecture anyone haha, just try to think 'how many years will be apart, or at least living apart' and the nthink wether or not those years could of been better soent at your age.

Wow my coffee is getting cold, I obviously drivelled on WAY too long, so I'll just end this with a few 'Best of luck' and 'Just make sure you have fun' remarks

-Edit

Also just to point out, every + you have listed about this certain girl (hot, so much in common, fun, smart etc) you will find in a thousand other women over the next few years, with so many billions of people in the world, and so many millions that will be between you and her, never believe someones attributes to be unique, afterall those descriptions have been around in the language far longer then either of you have

Never fall foul of the idea that one person is the be-all and end-all of girlfriend material, now that's not to say I dont believe inthings such as 'true love', or 'perfect match', all I'm saying is that there is no need to rush at finding such a thing. And the harder a relationship becomes to sustain, the quicker these traits will fade in your mind.

 

it won't work in the end
try a real relationship because you're missing all the fun

 

wow... Harsh...

 

hmmm if you really like her give it a try but face the consequences of it. . like you can go out, have some fun ,like watching going to party or have a date , and you cant express so much how you really care about her

 

You think that's harsh?

NURSE, get this man out of cotton wool!

I was all ready to give you some sound Mella relationship advice, but you're just a kid. Don't get too serious at your age, don't worry about this shit. Just have fun, hang loose, smoke a dooby and do whatever you crazy kids do nowadays.

If it's meant to be you'll find a way to make it work. If not, plenty more underage pussy in the sea.

 

lol, that really made me laugh.... I should get out more...

But yeah... I don't see it working, I don't see the point in being with someone if you can't... be with them? But then I don't think you would end the relationship because of what people think about it on a webmasters forum, so you're going to have to get burnt on your own.

 

hah! thanks for all the advice..but the important thing to me is where I live on this Island there just isn't much choice...

and well...I've met her in person/known her for years...
+I am only going to be dating a christian...so she is definately my number 1 pick.....even though there are others that I could choose from.

ALSO..she is a girl who really doesn't want another boyfriend(she said at school...cause she's been hurt bad by some jerk that just used her.....so...IDK)...I also get to see her every summer and Christmas.

 

With long distance relationships you must be very careful.In the beginning you get carried away but in the long run your relationship will sustain only when you are matured enough to make it grow and sustainable.