Review my christmas landing page please

Hi I need some help with my landing page for an ebook that hasn't been selling well. Ive gotten 356 clicks and not a single conversion, for a product I know sells well and adwords placements for good keywords like "make moeny for christmas" which is the name of the website.

The site is www.make-money-for-christmas dot com

Any feedback to improve the landing page would be appreciated.

Do I need to make it tighter? I feel like it might be too wordy, but then again I've seen a lot of landing pages that are longer. Maybe make the margins bigger? I need some tips.

Thanks!

 

I agree, maybe it's a bit too 'wordy'. Viewing through a wide screen monitor, it looks a little 'stretched'. If you intend keeping all the content, you might want to consider 'text boxing' some of it. Otherwise, keep up the good work.

 

It is the first page I have ever seen that was wider than the window no matter how wide I stretched it and I use a 22" monitor.

I would containerize it down to about 1024 wide.

 

The layout and design does not look professional aside from the page being
wide some of the text on the page is too large. I think the site would look
much better if you got a professional template.

 

My honest opinion - I hate the standard ebook layouts. Far too cramped, no real structure, and a whole lot of scrolling.

The logo also needs work - doesn't look very professional, especially for someone making so much money

The domain name in itself - honestly, it's very very long, and contains special characters. Both bad things when it comes to search engines. The only real way I can see you getting some good traffic coming in here is to spend a few bucks on an adwords campaign, and see how well you convert. And honestly, I'd really recommend structuring your page a lot better, and "condensing" the information a little better, if you get what I'm saying.

Also, I'd remove the testimony from the "15 year old" - this was a little offputting for me.

Hope this helps.

 

Wow Thanks you guys I really appreciate all those tips. I'll change some of those things and see if it improves.

 

use external css file
use desc meta tag
use keywords meta tag
use some of div
reduce images size
IMAGES_SIZE - Warning! The total size of your images is 1200986 bytes, which is over 100K.

Up to 24427 bytes could have been saved through compression of webpage.
TOTAL_SIZE - Warning! The total size of this page is 1234761 bytes, which will load in 250.29 seconds on a 56Kbps

 

Definitely check your spelling and gramtical errors. One line says...
What are you getting myself into? What the hell is that. Also run a
spell check. I noticed at the bottom of the page you spelt guarantee
guarentee.
You also need to do some work on the direction you get people to
focus their thoughts. Most of it relates to something negative ie.
tough economical times, only geeky people are online etc.

Do some research on something called your RAS or Reticular Activating
System. Your mind can only think of what you tell it and you're getting
people to focus on the wrong thing in my opinion.
When you have done that research consider the following line on your site:
"This is not some gimmick, some “Get Rich Quick Scheme” or anything shady."

Consider getting a proof reader as a start.
Good luck and merry xmas.

 

I couldn't open the site...maybe too many reviews?

 

The first paragraph stretch too wide. Add some background image would help

 

There seems to be inconsistency with images, the header image, then scroll right to the bottom, they are so different, id make the header image more professional looking, harder to read the general text with it that wide.

The part that reads "Still Doubtfull?, Take a look at the Proof of my earnings. This is impossible to FAKE!!!

Your suggesting doubt to them, they may not be thinking that but you may plant a doubt in their mind by doing that.

Nothing is impossible to fake, dont suggest that anything could be fake, they may not have been thinking that at all.

Your suggesting it might not be quite as it seems, think how the power of suggestion can go against you if you get it wrong.

Deposite <-- theres no e in deposit

Footnote:
Bet you thought this was going to say some condition or lie. I'm serious. If the small investment that you make doesn't increase in value over the course of 2 weeks I guarentee your money back! So what are you waiting for? Order Now!

Why are you suggesting that?

Theres more to redo but il stop

 

Thank you so much, all your advice has been extremely valuable. I completely overhauled the site, and am going to start an adwords campaign in a few days. Any final bits of advice would be a huge help.

http://www.my-online-empire.com

(same site except no christmas stuff since xmas is over)

 

Nice site and a good layout, and nice dsign as well.

Kind Regards.

 

The template looks beautiful and everything is well delineated.