Watching Judge Judy - Crime to spank children?

Has anyone seen the episode where the woman is being prosecuted for "spanking her children"? From what I can understand the person bringing her to court was her ex-husband or something.

It was absolutely sickening, i honestly want to throw up. Judge Judy was being a complete psychotic bitch (as usual) to the woman and acting like spanking your kids is a felony (which nowadays it may be, idk). What's funny/sick is the audience of this shitty feminist version of Bill O'reilly show probably agrees!

Is society really this dumb? I'm not speaking entirely from a moral standpoint either, more so just a plain old common sense one. Why are we so worried about things like education, crime, the effects of drugs on youth, etc. when our own f*cking government punishes us when we discipline them?!!?

My only hope is that the people like Judge Judy in this world get robbed, mugged, etc. from the current and future undisciplined generations that they allowed to flourish. Same with the people against the 2nd amendment, go take a walk in a dark alley some night, don't die - just get shot or stabbed in the leg or something. See how evil guns are when you need'em.

on a final note, this nation is a disgrace, and the great majority of us don't deserve to even live in a country with the opportunity it once had. it's hard not to hate the people that made it go to shit. and i try extra hard not to hate.

 

I generally have a problem with using violence to make a point. If someone can't reason with a child or, If needs be, Know of another way to punnish them without hitting them, Then i think they have the kind of mental capacity that should prohibit them from reproducing.

 

Oh trust me my friend, i've been around some kids that will have you clamoring my position just 1 minute after being around them.

I suppose you're right though, that is, if parents actually spent time with their kids. But I have a problem with your wording, "reasoning" with them. How do you reason with a babbling fool? At some point you'll realize they won't reason and are too much of a nuisance NOT to take physical action.

In fact, i've had to take action myself at the last few family joints. What do you do when they keep hitting you, and you tell them to stop, and maybe nudge them away several times, BUT THEY KEEP DOING IT. There's a threshold for every sane person where you realize a good kick in the pants never hurts. We're not supposed to lower our standards to the immature, we're supposed to teach them how to raise theirs. Or else we'll all be babbling fools, smashing our heads off the computer desk to type a response.

 

I'd agree with Stox, for the most part. Too often, spanking your kid is out of your own ineptitude, and shortcomings. When frustration reaches a fever pitch, it's a pretty crappy message to relay that violence is the solution to go to when you can't get what you want. And it's what I see in daily life, far too damned much, living in the city, to be honest - usually, the threat of violence of one kind or another, "when you get home." I have gotten involved, on a very few occasions, and I don't have the slightest qualm about getting involved. Kids are not chattel, to be corralled by a prod, or worse.

I will say it. I've had both personal experience with household violence, and worked with children removed from their homes, for the same reason (and this was in a rural area, so, no, I'm not saying it's a "city" or any other "thing." It's sadly universal). Many times, the violence was related to some issue of "instilling respect," and all that was accomplished, in far too many cases, was a child forever ruined - lost in likely irreversible psychological damage, if not corporeal damage.

I think, like all things, it's also easy to go ridiculous in the other direction. To make a swat on the ass as a corrective a felony is lunacy. But then, so is to say a parent has an absolute kind of pater familias over his or her family, in the name of "discipline." If parents can't control themselves, children have a right to protection.

This is from the CDC, risk factors for youth violence:

In terms of this thread, I think it's especially important to look at Nos. 1 -3 of "family risk factors." Parents who offer no flexibility of approach to rearing their children - supplanting "discipline" (and, too often, violence) for "parenting," contribute; so do parents who simply don't give a shit, and believe "whatever" is the same as inculcating "freedom" and "creativity" in their kids. I've seen the faces of both kinds of kids. Both kinds of faces are empty registers, dead.

 

I'm not an advocate of violence, but i think this is essential to growing up (for most).. unless you were like me and stayed out of trouble . Of course I believe there's that line that should not be crossed, which is why I propose 2 pieces of advice to the general public:

1. Don't marry drunks. Simple, know who you're reproducing with. If it walks like a wife/child beater, and talks like a wife/child beater, it's probably a wife/child beater.

2. Mothers should be the ones to spank. Think about it, if you just let their moms do the job there's less risk.


Also, I think there's a difference between "violence" and spanking.

 

Yep.

Not really, brother. See both sentences in the first paragraph of (3), below, as well.

If it involves pain, I consider it violence. I also consider mindfucking violence, too, to be honest, of another kind.

My entire point, I guess, comes to this: What we're trying to teach, as parents, is self-worth, and that other beings have dignity and worth.

To that end, don't beat your kid, and don't ignore your kid. Parent your kid, don't believe that frustration moving a violent response is teaching anything other than what it is - when pissed, act out; and don't believe that telling your kid he or she is the center of the universe, and their life is unbounded in terms of desire and discipline, irrespective of other human beings, is the same as instilling self-respect and inner creativity.

That's how I see it, anyway.

 

I've been around a lot of adults who i think a punch in the face would do them the world of good, And make me feel a lot better, But it would be wrong to do it.

If a situation ever arises where the only action left for the adult is to use violence then that can only be a result of the adults inability to handle the situation, and hitting a child to make up for that inability is probably the worst of all reasons to use violence.

The thing is, We don't like people using violence against animals, and the notion of using violence against a mentally disabled adult would be abhorrent, So i find it hard to condone, For any reason, The use of violence against a child.

The only difference really is the spelling. Children are spanked to inflict pain and to assert the adults dominance, To make them comply.

 

I agree with Nate, Look at how downhill our society has become. Kids have become spoiled bratssss and the family unit is gone. If im gonna marry any woman im gonna make sure she believes in spanking for disipline or else i will say bye byeeee babyyy to her before i marry her. This is only one part of the reason why our society and family unit has gone into the trashbin. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Not only will my wife spank our kids but i will also so that they wont come to me when she does it, and yes i agree with Nate, there is a huge difference between spanking and being violent. From what i believe if you dont spank the kid when he does something wrong you dont really love him.

Judge judy makes all her money from this joke of a show, shes a joke herself. My dad idolizes her, for what reason , i really dont knowwwwww.

I was spanked big time northpointtaki, and this is one of the main reasons why i love my parents so much. We grew up in a tough neighborhood in queens and never once did we ever start trouble with anyone. My dad and mom understood the use of spanking, and didnt want to raise their kid to be some namby-pamby.
Look at these kids now days, they are ready to call the cops on their parents because they are spanked lol. NO FAMILY UNIT!!!!, and our government actually backs these kids up.

Stoxs theres a difference between wanting to punch an adult in the face and spanking a kid who you love. every one of my relatives have spanked their kids and their kids grew up to be great adults. Dont take your kids to a pyschologist who themselves have lost their kids to the streets to ask their advice on how to discipline your child. I would take it straight to the wise veteran who saw it all. MY GRANDMA!!!!

 

There's a vast difference between a swat on the tail and a punch in the face. I taught kids in a scouting type environment for 6 years... and you could tell the ones whose parents thought a swat on the rear would harm their fragile psyche's... the kids couldn't cope with discipline or even deal well with their peers. They were generally fine when I was there because they knew I would not put up with BS... then they acted like hellions if their parents were along on a campout.

I had one guy who said "Hey, it's not his fault... he's ADD". I told the dad if the kid ever put another one in a headlock he'd also be SORE... and had already informed him so. His choice was to follow the rules or not come. The problem usually isnt the kid, it's the parent. Give a kid boundaries and let 'em know there are consequences if they cross the line and they're fine. Give them zero boundaries or a moving target and they have no idea how to act.

A swat on the rear never killed a kid, and doing it at the right time has kept a lot of the little darlings from getting the stuffings beat outta them later when others weren't prepared to give into their every whim like mommy did.

There's a lot to be said for the reality check at an early age, and spoiling kids at a young age has hurt a lot of them later. All IMO... have taught 'em and raised two of my own to adulthood... they aren't "violent", they don't fear the world, they're just fine. Somehow they lived thru the ordeal of having their keister swatted a few times. People that confuse appropriately applied parental discipline with "violence" generally either havent raised a kid or if they raised the one the teachers want to put in a straight jacket.

 

I think a swat on the rump is fine as long as it's not done in a rage. A lot of parents spank their kids out of anger or frustration and in a state where their anger and frustration is plainly obvious. It's not the harm that the swat can do that you really have to worry about, it's the psychology damage you have to worry about, which can be caused if the child really fears that their physical safety is threatened by someone who is supposed to be protecting them.

 

Rob, you just got my vote for "Post of the year!"

You are exactly right ... if the parents don't discipline their children, someone else will later on. I would rather try to train my children & discipline them (IN LOVE) while they are still young & trainable then to let the federal prison system discipline them when their adults.

Mark

edit. I just read the post by LogicFlux and I must agree. There is a huge difference in discipline done in love and 'discipline' done in anger. When 'discipline' is done in anger, it's child abuse.

 

The only difference is the severity.

There seems to be a lot of anecdotal evidence coming from the "beat your kid" camp and very little in the way of actual justification or valid reasons. If we think it is wrong to use violence against an animal or a mentally disabled adult for not complying why is it ok to use it against a child? What is it that the child has/does that makes it the only thing we can hit?

 

Stox - If you think I'm talking about "beating"... I'm guessing you havent raised a kid. I'm speaking from experience, you're speaking from theory. I gave reasons for what I suggested... teaching them that there are consequences for their actions. When you've actually successfully DONE this instead of just thinking you know how, come back and we'll talk.

 

If you love your child do not spare discipline.

These 2 verses appear in the Contrast of Goodness and Evil


Proverbs 13:24
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Proverbs 19:18
Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

 

And I'd have to disagree, since I don't lay a hand on my son, and I love him utterly.

I don't know. I never spanked our son, and I never will. I teach controlled violence as a way of life, in teaching Aikido/tactical defense/iaido, and discipline, mutual respect, and all the other "goodies" are endemic to the training, and endemic to how I view life. I think there is a vast toolbox out there available to parents, and violence need not be a part of it.

And I think this nails it completely. I think it is very, very hard not to be whopping another's ass and inflicting pain, without being angry - and a 6'2", 230 pound guy over a 4' something, kid - well, yes, the picture is pretty clear to me. And by the time the notion of "just punishment" can be cooly approached, there are so many other options that do work, and raise good kids, the soundbites in this thread notwithstanding; e.g., Rob, sorry, but

You have no idea what the hell you're talking about, because (1) I'm a dad; (2) I do think any inflicting of pain is necessarily violence - Stox is right, it is all violence, only differing in severity; (3) my kid's a great, respectful kid - because we teach him properly. Bottom line, people like myself raise good children, and your statement is just off.

 

Northpoint - I labeled my post as IMO, and I have a right to an opinion just as you do. You arent required to agree with me, and getting offended is your choice, not mine.

 

/slightly off-topic

I find this subject interesting since I've always figured that most of the regulars here were either abused as children(whether they see it as abuse or not) or have a substance abuse history.

 

Being inadequately equipped to teach about consequences without resorting to violence is hardly a valid reason.

So, back to my question; What is it that a child does/has that makes hitting them acceptable where as doing it to an animal or mentally disabled adult would be considered unacceptable, even if done for the same reasons.

 

Stox - Again - You're telling people with experience in the topic how to do it, despite having never done it yourself. Sorry kid, doesnt work like that.

 

Rob, IMO is redundant, to me - of course, all of this is our opinion. But to say my kid, for instance, is going to "end up in a straight jacket," a sociopath, in so many words, because I don't whop his ass - well, yep, just a tad offensive, as some might expect it would be, but of course you're free to make the statement.

Anyway, yes, I'd say ass-whopping is the end of a parent's ability to parent. I do not subscribe to it, and believe there are a host of reasons our society has gone down the toilet - and none of them have to do with the simplistic solution of whopping a kid's ass, whether by personal creed of ass-whopping, or because it's prescribed in the Bible. We also "used to" do a lot of crap we don't do anymore. Evolve.