Can someone critique my landing page

Discussion in 'ClickBank' started by asyk, Oct 11, 2008.

  1. #1
    www.losemanboobsnow.info this is my landing page, can you tell me what i can do to optimize it for search engines and or get more sales? Im new to this at the moment. Thanks
     
    asyk, Oct 11, 2008 IP
  2. Ripped

    Ripped Well-Known Member

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    #2
    I Like the overall layout and design on the page , however:

    -Remove the adsense ads immediately. You're losing sales due to a 10 cent click from adsense.

    -Text needs to be properly paragraphed and aligned, making it easier to the eye, and easier to read overall

    - What's up with those huge bulletins, put them the same size as your text, only bolded, or maybe one size bigger than your paragraph text.

    -You're just giving two links to pages saying 'click here' and 'click here' maybe put a review of both programs, tell the user which one is better, make the user know which is the best solution.

    -Try to create a text which will connect with the user, tell him that you share his problems, make it a bit shorther also, too much text IMO.

    In other words, you need to completely restructure your landing page, make it coherent, simple, convincing and straight to the point. Create a problem i.e state the problem, then provide an appropriate solution, state why that solution works best, and how it has helped you

    I would recommend doing something in the lines of: http://www.curegyno.com , It's a pretty good landing page IMO
     
    Ripped, Oct 11, 2008 IP
    akdiver likes this.
  3. SEOTherapy

    SEOTherapy Banned

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    #3
    I think you need to edit the title tags because it shows loose your man-boobs, it should be lose your man boobs or How to Get Rid of Man Boobs
     
    SEOTherapy, Oct 11, 2008 IP
  4. akdiver

    akdiver Well-Known Member

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    #4
    This has to be some of the most constructive and useful feedback on DP. Great post.

    As for the sales page get a native english speaker to edit it for you as the there is a lot of grammatical errors.

    Good Luck
     
    akdiver, Oct 11, 2008 IP
  5. asyk

    asyk Peon

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    #5
    thanks ripped for your time and effort, I have made a few results, I made the ad sense as less intrusive and tryed to make it look the content (i need some money :p) LOL and i cut out alot of text lets see if it works thanks
     
    asyk, Oct 11, 2008 IP
  6. Ripped

    Ripped Well-Known Member

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    #6
    Thanks, I'm glad my post was found helpful

    There is a slight improvement, but you need a major overhaul. Anyone with reasonable knowledge will tell you that you should remove all adsense ads from your landing page, do you really care about making a few cents from it.

    You have put the name:
    Anirudh Rogers at the top of the page and Andrew Rogers at the bottom, fix that

    Split up the text even more, into smaller paragraphs. Maybe remove what you think is unnecessary. Work on fixing your spelling and grammar mistakes.

    Choose one product instead of two, and create a strong call of action at the bottom of the page, create urgency for the viewer to purchase the product
     
    Ripped, Oct 11, 2008 IP
  7. asyk

    asyk Peon

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    #7
    okay I followed your advice
    -took out adsense
    -split up paragraphs
    -added a urgency-causing sentence (kinda :/)
    -got rid of some text

    thanks for your input, keep em coming
     
    asyk, Oct 11, 2008 IP
  8. steven20

    steven20 Peon

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    #8
    At the moment it's got absolutely crap SEO (sorry). If you're going for search traffic (or even adwords) I'd get WordPress and throw your pitch up on that. WP automatically optimizes your site with a perfect link structure and site map along with a whole lot more.
     
    steven20, Oct 11, 2008 IP
  9. asyk

    asyk Peon

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    #9
    Yes, I know its not to hot with the search engine, But I do have a blog setup and have some articles up. So I will worry about traffic a bit later, I want my site to be ready and presentable
     
    asyk, Oct 11, 2008 IP
  10. CoralN

    CoralN Guest

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    #10
    Hi Asyk, I have just had a look at your landing page, one thing that struck me straight away was that the font was very hard to read on the gray background. I have read in quite a few articles that your page should be crisp and clear with lots of white space.

    Regards,
    Coral.
     
    CoralN, Oct 12, 2008 IP
  11. bl4ckmaN^

    bl4ckmaN^ Well-Known Member

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    #11
    You have to do major work there.

    1. The landing page doesn't have to be long. Simply outline few benefits and strong points and create call to action.

    2. Grey font with gray background is impossible to read

    3. Mistake in the header picture. It should be "Lose" not "Loose"

    I would say start all over again. There are too many things, which need to be changed...

    Have a look on Google at other's landing pages (Click on Adwords ads on the right)

    Simply search for a relevant keyword, and see what your competition is doing.
     
    bl4ckmaN^, Oct 12, 2008 IP
  12. ahuddy

    ahuddy Peon

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    #12
    Change the background to white or a very light grey. Look at the grey color on the top of yahoo's page that would be a good color to use so that its not plain white. Use black text on that. Needs to very easy for the user to read or else they won't even bother. Then fix your logo to Lose, and then we can see from there.
     
    ahuddy, Oct 12, 2008 IP
  13. asyk

    asyk Peon

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    #13
    I dont understand what you guys are seeing, the BG on which the text is placed IS white....and I made the text completely black, So its Black on White
     
    asyk, Oct 12, 2008 IP
  14. bl4ckmaN^

    bl4ckmaN^ Well-Known Member

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    #14
    I'm using Firefox, and the background is gray.
     
    bl4ckmaN^, Oct 12, 2008 IP
  15. asyk

    asyk Peon

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    #15
    But look at where the TEXT is placed, its black on white
     
    asyk, Oct 12, 2008 IP
  16. CoralN

    CoralN Guest

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    #16
    Hi Asyk,

    I am using Firefox also and your background is definitely a dark gray. You might have to go into view source and look at your html coding for your background.
     
    CoralN, Oct 13, 2008 IP
  17. scubita

    scubita Peon

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    #17
    Here it is at Firefox:

    [​IMG]
     
    scubita, Oct 13, 2008 IP
  18. FreddyBiatso

    FreddyBiatso Peon

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    #18
    The page looks kinda messy :S

    Or is it just me?
     
    FreddyBiatso, Oct 13, 2008 IP