Critique the Salespage of a Unique Article Writing Service

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by article writer, Oct 10, 2008.

  1. #1
    I have just finished the salespage of my website.

    Please critique the salespage from your perspective.

    This is the site www.gettrafficpullingarticles.com

    Plus give me ideas on how to get testimonials for having the clients photograph, active website link, and their brilliant feed back about my service.


    Will it be nice if i provide them articles for free in exchange of testimonials.
     
    article writer, Oct 10, 2008 IP
  2. pinch-penny

    pinch-penny Active Member

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    #2
    "A real traffic pulling article creation service for your need"
    It "needs" an "s".

    "If you are the person just getting articles written & submitting to directories with the expectation of bringing in traffic to your website. Then it is a 100% guess work and more often it is a waste of time, money and energy."
    The placement of the period is incorrect. I would suggest you change it to a comma, but the sentence still doesn't read properly. Maybe "Relying solely on writing and submitting articles to directories with the expectation of bringing traffic to your website is often a waste of time, money and energy."

    "You may not have a good title for the article that makes your target audience to click on it to open the article."
    Try "...that makes your target audience want to click on it.."

    That's just three examples, but I've noticed some other typos and grammar mistakes. I have to point out the irony that this sales page is for an article creation service offering "Top Quality" articles, but the sales page itself is full of errors. Do you have a program like Word that you can use to help suggest spelling and grammar corrections? Maybe you could look for someone here or on the buy and sell boards to edit and correct the mistakes for a small fee?
     
    pinch-penny, Oct 10, 2008 IP
  3. lightless

    lightless Notable Member

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    #3
    Many spelling and grammatic errors are there. Get them corrected.

    Here's a selection

     
    lightless, Oct 10, 2008 IP
  4. article writer

    article writer Peon

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    #4
    Well, thank you the inputs.

    I agree the mistakes, but by just finishing the salespage I posted here due to the big interests in critiques. I have cleared the mistakes of spelling error.

    Now that I know the salespage needs a lot of work on the sentences.

    And one more thing, just now got a PM from a person username EspressoChick with many more ideas and also he/she conveyed me good wishes. According to his ideas i have made the changes.

    One more point is left out, i would like to implement it near the price of service. (Later tomorrow)

    I happily say my thanks to username EspressoChick and to the above persons.


    I know this sentence is incomplete "If you are the person just getting articles"

    But you see below i have placed the word "How?" due to the presentation factor this problem occurs.

    But I think this will not spoil the image

    Really i welcome more critiques and suggestions. Because I am getting the spark to improve the salespage.

    regards,
     
    article writer, Oct 10, 2008 IP
  5. Vozzek

    Vozzek Active Member

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    #5
    Not bad, but the first thing that strikes me when I read it is:

    "Oh boy... another one of THOSE sites..."

    What do I mean by that? Basically it looks like every other type of site out there trying to sell my something through the use of

    BIG BLACK WORDS

    FOLLOWED BY SOME

    BIG RED WORDS

    AND LOTS OF
    TEXT OF
    VARYING SIZES
    FOR NO APPARENT REASON
    AND THEN MAYBE SOME



    1. [*]Numbered
      [*]Lists
      [*]So
      [*]People
      [*]Are Conveyed
      [*]An Aura
      [*]Of Increased
      [*]Importance



    Ya dig me? :D
     
    Vozzek, Oct 10, 2008 IP
  6. savagemp5

    savagemp5 Peon

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    #6
    I prefer sites which are more sincere or made of wordpress at least.
     
    savagemp5, Oct 10, 2008 IP
  7. article writer

    article writer Peon

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    #7
    Thanks for the inputs.

    I have decreased the font sizes.

    I hope all are designing mistakes like font size, font color. But I only did those works. I am not a website designer. In the near future I will design the website hiring a professional website designer.

    however, the stuff what I have provided there will make even the experienced article marketers to take notes.

    And also I am not a professional copywriter.

    I don't have ideas about the Transition words and phrases

    That is the mistake you are pointing out as "No apparent reason".

    I know it needs tons of correction, polishing, etc

    But anyway once again thanks for your comments.
     
    article writer, Oct 11, 2008 IP
  8. Loves Learning

    Loves Learning Peon

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    #8
    I am more than a little worried about the service you are going to be providing. If you are not able to write acceptable English without help, then how will you be able to provide a writing service?

    People will not click on links unless they are able to read the article, and based on your English in this thread and on that website most people will abandon trying to read any article produced by you in the first paragraph.

    May I suggest that the first thing you need to do is brush up on your written English skills, so that you are able to offer these services.

    I must say however, your English is much better than any of my other languages! And I am sure that in a verbal exchange with a native English speaker you would be able to make yourself understood.
     
    Loves Learning, Oct 11, 2008 IP
  9. angel007

    angel007 Peon

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    #9
    Yes, it is true. Why not get yourself a professional copywriter to do the sales page for you? It will save a lot of heartache not mentioning lost sales by investing a few dollars to get them done.

    Get someone to rewrite them with perfect English
     
    angel007, Oct 12, 2008 IP
  10. richmcl

    richmcl Peon

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    #10
    Work on your English dude. Even here in the forums, it's "Thanks for the input"
     
    richmcl, Oct 12, 2008 IP
  11. article writer

    article writer Peon

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    #11
    In return of thanking to your comments and to all other comments i have given the below informations.

    To explain you I am revealing few of my secrets (by forgetting the big competition in the DP Content creation forum),

    Totally there more than 40 things (factors,techniques,tricks,tactis,concepts, etc) to create a traffic pulling article.

    So, boldly i reveal few of them,

    For A Traffic Pulling Article,

    Secret 1. It should be written in 5th or 6th grade English. Remember,all the best performing sales letters are written in 5th or 6th grade English.

    So, i can write in this level easily. If in need i can write for any level by putting more effort and time on it.

    Secret 2. It should be written in conversational tone. And nothing to worry about Sentence Rules like a sentence should not start with And, Then, etc.

    So, i can write in this way very easily.

    Secret 3.

    Length of a traffic pulling article should be _______ (suspense).

    It is a jaw-dropping secret, that too for writer's. (Remember, this is a copywriter's forum)

    The indirect answer is, I never need to put much effort. Guess the length by yourself

    Apart from above things,

    I review article with 10 (views)ways to proofread the article including grammar.

    View Point

    1. I go through the article, spotting out punctation mistakes.

    2. I go through the article, spotting out singular, plural errors.

    3. I go through the article, spotting out Sentence Completion.

    4. i check the word phrases with past tense, present tense, future tense

    5. i check the flow of each sentence.

    6. I check the preposition mistakes by sharply examing the each sentence.

    and the list goes on.

    Above to all,

    Finally, I have Traffic Pulling Article Analyzer

    When I analyse the article according to this, then the article comes out as a perfect article.

    Definitely, i can provide Top Quality articles And Written in Good English.

    Here is one of the secret that I use to create top quality articles,

    Just by using Niche Words in article of the paticular Article subject.

    Do not consider my forum post including this one. And look what i have stated above,

    After critques i am able to see the salespage as a rough draft.

    The fair draft will takes many days or weeks,

    (Right now i am researching and studying to covert my salespages to top notch)

    If you note sharply , all the section of the salespage like bonus, warning, benefits,bullets points feattures, etc. Then you can easily smell the laziness that I have not worked well. Because it is a first and rough draft.

    I have made some changes by installing a new template. check back(www.gettrafficpullingarticles.com). it looks good compare before.

    Still construction of salespage and desiging work is going on. So do not comment on it.


    If you get a spark - like ideas, suggestion to improve the salespage. please throw them here.

    I really got good clarity. Thanks for the critiques.
     
    article writer, Oct 14, 2008 IP
  12. ArticleScholar

    ArticleScholar Well-Known Member

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    #12
    No offense meant but this is BS. I really hate people who call themselves writers just because they know a little English.

     
    ArticleScholar, Oct 14, 2008 IP
  13. @phang

    @phang Active Member

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    #13
    I'm worried about the quality of your articles after seeing the sales page, that's what I would look to address first.
     
    @phang, Oct 15, 2008 IP
  14. lightless

    lightless Notable Member

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    #14
    Writing is not for you unless you take some course and drastically improve your skills. Save your time and do something else. Knowing all the advanced secrets won't help if you don't know the simple basics.
     
    lightless, Oct 15, 2008 IP
  15. article writer

    article writer Peon

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  16. article writer

    article writer Peon

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  17. jerictero

    jerictero Peon

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    #17
    Whether writing in 5th grade English or university level English, the need for correct spelling, acceptable grammar and cohesive sentences should not be disregarded. Readers cannot get as stupid as others would assume and at the end of the day, it is quality content that has been composed with minimal grammatical and spelling errors that gets the favor of readers. So while you're ideas are in place, you still have to brush up on your English to make it work.
     
    jerictero, Oct 22, 2008 IP
  18. Loves Learning

    Loves Learning Peon

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    #18
    Apparently I was too gentle earlier.

    Your English is Bad!

    It doesn't matter how many "tricks" you know - if someone can't read your article then they won't make it to the resource box to click on your link!

    You need to improve your English before you try and sell and writing or writing related services.
     
    Loves Learning, Oct 23, 2008 IP
  19. cd928

    cd928 Peon

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    #19
    Hi there. I suggest that you hire a writer or copywriter instead, depending on your writing needs. It's better than you writing it yourself or if you also can't invest time in learning how to write (which may take months, or even years). But that's just my opinion. :)
     
    cd928, Oct 23, 2008 IP
  20. jerictero

    jerictero Peon

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    #20
    Yeah, better contract a web writer. That would really help expedite your tasks and provide better content for your site; so you can focus on the marketing side of your article writing service.
     
    jerictero, Oct 29, 2008 IP