Doing copywriting work is hard, especially if the product you promote happens to suck. This is why in all my greatness I decided to give you mortals a guide to ease things up. So without further ado: 6 Tricks to Sell Your Crappy Product I know, I know. I tried to make the title as motivating as possible. Read, enjoy, laugh and feel free to send me death threats. Regards, George
That piece gave me a laugh but the exchange in your comments is priceless. The only thing I must comment on is the part quoted below: I see essentially the same lines in almost any internet marketing guide from people who aren't meaning them in an ironic way.
Those really are copywriting tips from hell. This is called false advertising and, in the U.S. and many other countries, it's illegal.
That gave me a laugh for a moment ^^ Nice rant, but maybe the dig this or die comment was a little OTT
Great copywriters and marketers are good at selling you crappy products that you never even know, understand or admit are crappy. For example, just add the following P.S and no buyer will complain that the product is crappy. P.S If it doesn't work for you, it's because you are a dumb moron loser with absolutely no chance of making it.
Funnyhttp://forums.digitalpoint.com/images/icons/icon10.gif! However, sometimes brutal honesty works very well. There was a London estate agent (that'll be realtor to some of you across the big pond) called Roy Brooks, who made his name in the 1970s and 80s by describing property with unfaltering accuracy - for example "poky little flat with a view of the gas works from the small sitting room. But it is in Chelsea and just off the fashionable Kings Road, hence the price." So crap can be sold even by describing it as crap. Roy Brooks became a national figure and very wealthy out of it.
Funny! However, sometimes brutal honesty works very well. There was a London estate agent (that'll be realtor to some of you across the big pond) called Roy Brooks, who made his name in the 1970s and 80s by describing property with unfaltering accuracy - for example "poky little flat with a view of the gas works from the small sitting room. But it is in Chelsea and just off the fashionable Kings Road, hence the price." So crap can be sold even by describing it as crap. Roy Brooks became a national figure and very wealthy out of it.
And in other news, Mininova just reached a grand total of 6 billion downloads. If it is illegal, it doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. I invite you to take a quick trip to ClickBank and check several products at random. You'll most likely have your IQ drop several points and you'll get the chance to witness a mind numbing amount of BS. And by that I mean YES false advertising. If you're gonna bathe with the sharks, you'd better learn how to swim. Nah, it's just professional hazard. You're right. Some mention of bubonic plague would've been much more appropriate. Hey! Leave the boss out of this! Hmm... Insulting your readers... The Force is strong in this one. I think that we can both agree that Brits come in a league of their own. Regards, George
LOL... That was something good for today You've freaking catchy style for sure. I was little skeptical on this point though "Always Assume Your Customers Are Morons". Marketers must assume they're brainy but most of the readers too have a head over their shoulders. Converting them is another trick. All in all, loved the post.
I worked in the USA for a time and there can be striking differences in the way things are marketed there and in Britain. The brash and bold approach frequently used to promote products and services there would probably not work so well here. I recall CBS Records (as it then was) running a massive campaign in Britain to bring Bruce Springsteen to the attention of the public. The strap line was "I have seen the future of rock and roll." I think it put his career over here back several years. The general response was, "Oh yeah, who does he think he is." George Bernard Shaw once famously noted "two countries divided by a common language." I think he had a point. Cheers Dominic
Good read m8. Thanks. PS. Nobody has EVER been burned for underestimating their target's intelligence, RIGHT?