Hi Guys give your feedback on these articles.

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by designervalley, Sep 23, 2008.

  1. #1
    A person is writing contents for my website name => www.designervalley.com please read the articles and let me know if there is any problem.

    Regards
    :)
     
    designervalley, Sep 23, 2008 IP
  2. marketjunction

    marketjunction Well-Known Member

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    #2
    I'm not going to sit here and analyze it all (that's what I get paid for), but here's a look at your opening paragraph.

    The writer doesn't seem to know when not to capitalize. You don't capitalize "Professional Web Design Company Offers Affordable Website Designing of Web Sites and Web Pages."

    This is a problem that runs rampant through your copy.

    Reading further it's fairly obvious that the writer's native language is not English.

    The copy also has many other issues. Perhaps others here will know them (or figure them out) and let you know.

    Well isn't that nice of you to say about yourself.

    I'm proud to say that I'm the world's best DP poster who's wearing a blue shirt at 2:25pm PST in Las Vegas on a sunny day while waiting for the UPS driver, wearing a brown outfit, to bring me many packages, so I can open them up and enjoy them before . . . . . .
     
    marketjunction, Sep 23, 2008 IP
  3. WordTradeSolutions

    WordTradeSolutions Well-Known Member

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    #3
    The content doesn't quite cut it as something from a group of professional Web developers.

    Problems

    1. Disorganized ideas.
    2. Hard to read statements.
    3. Stuffed with keywords.
    4. Unusual language used.
    5. Overly long sentences.
    6. Too much commas.

    Solutions

    1. Organize ideas into subheads and use control sentences per paragraph.
    2. Use formal native English - get rid of all the clutter.
    3. Keywords can be used as a list of services offered by your company.
    4. Use the writing style incorporated on the best tech articles at Wikipedia.
    5. Cut sentences into smaller more readable ones.
    6. Use bullet points, numbered lists, etc. when mentioning lists of items.

    IMPORTANT: Content should be slanted towards the target audience. Readers must immediately picture a group of professional Web developers talking to them. Of course, the target market should be provided with comprehensible content useful and relevant to their needs.

    Hope this helps.
     
    WordTradeSolutions, Sep 23, 2008 IP
  4. jeewant_gupta_051275

    jeewant_gupta_051275 Well-Known Member

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    #4
    Well, I think the main problem lies with the SVO- Subject Verb Agreement of your writer
     
    jeewant_gupta_051275, Sep 24, 2008 IP
  5. mouacy

    mouacy Peon

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    #5
    Too much reading. NO picture. You need to display a few pictures along with the text.

    Eliminate the long paragraph. Use bullet points and make them short and precise.

    Show sample picture of your work whenever possible.
     
    mouacy, Sep 24, 2008 IP
  6. lightless

    lightless Notable Member

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    #6
    Do you just want to stuff your website full of keywords for the heck of it or do you actually want people to be interested in your services?

    I feel offended by your website to put it simply. You should pay me compensation.
     
    lightless, Sep 24, 2008 IP
  7. webgal

    webgal Peon

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    #7
    If you are packing with keywords to establish rank, it won't stick once you change it.

    It needs subheads, some leading (spacing between the lines) and some style. It's certainly not going to sell your services. It is very generic.
     
    webgal, Sep 24, 2008 IP
  8. designervalley

    designervalley Peon

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    #8
    Thanks to all friends for valued advices. :)
     
    designervalley, Sep 24, 2008 IP
  9. ArticleScholar

    ArticleScholar Well-Known Member

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    #9
    So that's the 0.01 / word rate... :D
     
    ArticleScholar, Sep 28, 2008 IP
  10. ErikJ

    ErikJ Peon

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    #10
    too much to read no one will sit there and read a full page at first glance

    more pictures and bold headlines less reading
     
    ErikJ, Sep 28, 2008 IP
  11. articles.niches

    articles.niches Banned

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    #11
    Funny.. but a point that is paramount.

    Dont praise yourself - not smart marketing!!!!
    Give enough reasons to others to praise the services on offer!!!!
     
    articles.niches, Sep 30, 2008 IP