Need important info

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by RDesign, Jun 24, 2008.

  1. #1
    Can somebody please tell me how much mistake I have in this text

    The Web is perhaps simplest and the majority time the effective method to look at the perfect supplier of food gastronome in line which obtains delivered well to your threshold. Another explanation to buy food gastronome above the intern can be due to the fact that you can be somewhat defective in culinary qualifications or confidence. The reception of part of banquet can be a little discouraging if him the very significant occasion and you of SA want to make an impression. It is another reason of going on the Web and buying food gastronome. You can speculate if food gastronome on the Web will be expensive proposal. Considering the real costs of preparation your very have the food which obviously will be on the side reports/ratios and on line higher cannot be absurdly expensive as you can consider.
     
    RDesign, Jun 24, 2008 IP
  2. tankard

    tankard Well-Known Member

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    #2
    There are some mistakes ;)

    The Web is perhaps the simplest and the most time-effective tool for sourcing the perfect food supplier and ensuring a timely delivery.

    Another benefit of buying food supplies via the internet is that you entrust the delivery to professionals – people who are passionate about food and know their business.

    The reception of a party or a banquet can be a little hectic if it is a very significant occasion and you want to make a good impression on your guests.

    It is another good reason of going online to buy grocery. You might think that obtaining food supplies online can be expensive. Considering the real costs of preparation of a banquet, you will find that asking a professional to help you, is the most reasonable solution to your party problems.

    This is just a quick overhaul. What is this text for? What are you gonna do with it?
     
    tankard, Jun 24, 2008 IP
  3. writing_life

    writing_life Active Member

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    #3
    I don't mean to be unkind, but... this is a mess. Unless you're looking for clients without much grasp of English, this wouldn't be acceptable to anybody. It just doesn't make sense.

    While there's no shame in writing imperfect English, you can't really expect to sell it to anybody... because it's not effective content. My advice? Work on your English fluency for awhile, then take another shot at it. Because as of now, it's full of mistakes-- both in basic grammar and general readability. These are not the kinds of mistakes that somebody can tell you how to fix. They're the kinds of mistakes you'll need to develop an instinct for-- and that instinct only comes from practice and fluency.

    English is hard! :) Good luck to you.

    -Karen
     
    writing_life, Jun 24, 2008 IP
  4. wilhb81

    wilhb81 Active Member

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    #4
    I think you're missed the most important thing here ---> The comma.

    You can't just joined all the words together without even a single comma...
     
    wilhb81, Jun 24, 2008 IP
  5. RDesign

    RDesign Active Member

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    #5
    Thanks Tankard ,Karen and wilhb for the answer

    I don't want to write articles for clients ,I only want to create some decent articles for few my sites.
    Are you think that I can write decent articles for my sites or I must hire some good copywriter.
     
    RDesign, Jun 24, 2008 IP
  6. Live2Write

    Live2Write Active Member

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    #6
    I guess it is a thesaurized version of some original which is not done to even 20% perfection. Sorry but reads horrible dear. Just not getting what is being conveyed in the write up.

    Hey man! Are you up to any article rewrite tool development .....if so sorry it too needs to be reworked...best wishes !!
     
    Live2Write, Jun 24, 2008 IP
  7. tankard

    tankard Well-Known Member

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    #7
    At this stage definitely go and hire a good copywriter. Your text was a mystery even for a native English speaker.

    BUT!

    You must make yourself a promise to learn English. It is easy and it is achievable. Read some good classic British authors. Watch English TV channels - it will give you the basics. Don't try to learn the language on the internet - majority of online people use very bad language :(
     
    tankard, Jun 24, 2008 IP
  8. RDesign

    RDesign Active Member

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    #8
    Thanks tankard
    I will try to learn English better.How much time do you think I must spending in learning English,that I can write some decent article (five month ,one year... maybe 3 years)
     
    RDesign, Jun 24, 2008 IP
  9. webgal

    webgal Peon

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    #9
    RDesign that would be hard for those of use who have spoken it all of our lives to estimate. Perhaps some of the other members for whom English is a second language could add their opinion. But I think by comparison, English is one tough and inconsistent language.
     
    webgal, Jun 24, 2008 IP
  10. Trusted Writer

    Trusted Writer Banned

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    #10
    I do agree with you, I could hardly read beyond the first line because of the mess and no sense.

    Practice makes perfect so keep trying and learning on a daily basis :)
     
    Trusted Writer, Jun 24, 2008 IP
  11. Sakariwrites

    Sakariwrites Active Member

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    #11
    If you can get your hands on some good books, that will motivate you greatly on your path to learn English. Kids learn by reading regularly so why shouldn't it be the same for adults. Good luck RDesign!
     
    Sakariwrites, Jun 24, 2008 IP
  12. tankard

    tankard Well-Known Member

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    #12
    Well, there are lots of Polish workers around, where I live. They are great chaps and trying their best to speak English, and usually their pronunciation is even better than that of some local speakers :) . If you are determined, I think you can improve your English to write basic articles within 6 months or so. You just have to devote time to your lessons regularly.
     
    tankard, Jun 25, 2008 IP
  13. telegraph.hill

    telegraph.hill Peon

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    #13
    Well - here's one question I am qualified to answer, as I am an English teacher, (English to Speakers of Other Languages).

    I am happy to say that you are already on the right track - communicating on an English language forum, and asking people's opinion about your writing.

    Here are some tips:

    English language classes

    one-to-one lesssons (bit expensive though)

    reading in English as much as possible - newspapers, novels, etc

    language exchange (this is a way of getting one-to-one on the cheap, and the other person learns your language)

    watch movies/tv in English

    listen to English radio - eg: World Service

    take a look at websites such as the BBC languages site

    write as much as possible in English, and try to get feedback

    Good Luck!
     
    telegraph.hill, Jun 26, 2008 IP
  14. infofreek

    infofreek Peon

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    #14
    Sorry to be rude, but better to hire a professional writer. See you have made a mistake right in the intro of the thread.
    Add my 2 cents. :)
     
    infofreek, Jun 26, 2008 IP
  15. marketjunction

    marketjunction Well-Known Member

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    #15
    Could be never. Knowing English doesn't mean you can write for crap.

    Writing is an art.

    The USA, for instance, is filled with millions of people who know English perfectly, but can't write good articles.

    Of course, if we're talking SEO articles (low-level writing), then you just need to know English a little bit as those aren't "art" at all, just labor. If your English and writing ability are at a high school level, you're set.

    Good luck with it.
     
    marketjunction, Jun 26, 2008 IP