HELP i burned my girlfriends cooter

ok this is what happening

my parents are out with family friends, and they'll be back any minute so I need your help

heres some background

i volunteer on my cousins softball team (im 17, the girls are 15)

and whatever yea i met this girl, her name is Allison, and we're going out for a while. We have a lot in common, sometimes i help her with her homework. I helped her on an english essay and she still got a C. This is because her teacher is a prick... anywayz

So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so I ask her to have sex

"no i cant its not right" she said but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"

So I gave her diddy kong racing and ken griffey jr baseball, and then she goes to my room. shes a bit confused and scared.

Then i think to myself - yo I need lube right? Cuz I hear you guys on DP saying you need to lube up her cooter otherwise it wont fit in properly.

Ok so I have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so i microwaved it for 8 minutes, and then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it.

I don't know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smrat and please help me.

Any idea how to shut her up? Should i give her another n64 game?

 

I'm a bit shocked...and confused.

I'm going to assume this is a taking the piss post

 

he he he he he he he this has to be the funniest thing this week. Are you serious?

 

tell her to put icy hot on it that should work

 

LOL - Wtf this is more wacky then Mighty - You put butter in a microwave for 8 minutes and expect it not to burn ROFL. Anyway, go get an icepack you silly duffer!

 

you are minors

 

ROFL you cant be serious!

OMG this just totally made my day!

 

yea. do you think if i give her starfox she'll shut up? maybe she's been holding out for that game...

 

Have you heard the saying:"You got to munch it before you punch it?"

30 minutes later another thread pops up saying:"I just knocked out my girlfriend's cooter! Help!"

 

Haha. Funny and silly at the same time lol. You need foreplay buddy. Kids come even with fingers. Sex for Nintendo 64 games, that's just wicked. It's more of a silent rape than a 'want to lose virginity' for me.

 

Lmao! Wow. Dude you don't need lube to have fun. You should of made the ice berg melt. skfjkfdjfds ksjkjfkdj thats how hard im laughing. Im sorry I know its you need help. Is it burning or is it burned? You should have touched the butter first! Im sure 8 minutes it 10x to long.

 

I'm taking a screenshot just in case this gets deleted

 

Hahaha, I saw this before... it is great

 

come on man...
i mean, at least give her super mario kart

 

Also, when you took out the butter from the microwave, didn't you feel if it was hot or not? Even if you put it in a small plate you can feel it!!

I'm laughing and I pity the 15 year old at the same time. She fell in the wrong dirty hands.

Haha. For future reference?




C'mon. This is a joke, isn't this? If it's not, oh my.

 

Lol that was even funnier then thread

 

"dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes"

Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ah ah aaaah
Man thanks for the thread, such a laughter it is

 

'course it is, who bribes girls with N64 games nowadays?

 

Yeah, I also think that Sex for N64 Games is HILARIOUS.