Dilemma..help

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by deb0and, Feb 25, 2008.

  1. #1
    Ok i have a BIG poblem and dont nkow what to do, so heres the situation

    fiancee
    House
    Child

    I love the child (its mine)
    Been with fiancee 6 years and fallen out of love with her. ( this is the problem)
    joint mortgage on house.

    If i leave i loose everything......if i stay i am living a lie

    should i tell her andleave?
     
    deb0and, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  2. nico_swd

    nico_swd Prominent Member

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    #2
    Give yourself a break. Take a vacation alone or something. If you're day and night with the same person it can get annoying, so I'd go somewhere for 2 or 3 weeks and see how things are afterwards.
     
    nico_swd, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  3. Firegirl

    Firegirl Peon

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    #3
    In my opinion, if you create a child with someone you are OBLIGATED to provide that child with an intact family...

    I would try the suggestion that Nico posted above to see if that will help. You might just be feeling overwhelmed and taking a break can clear your head.

    But, you need to find a way to provide that child with a family. You also need to set a good example for your kid and GET MARRIED. You are teaching your child that it's ok to shack up with someone and not really commit. Would you want a daughter of yours to learn it's ok to shack up with some guy with no promise of marriage, get pregnant, and the guy leaves? As a father you wouldn't want that! And if you say you are not "in love", then you need to try and rekindle that so you can provide your child with the best situation possible. You really need to try and stick around until the kid is at least 18, then the child is an adult and you are free to do as you please.....

    And for people that think this is harsh...If you are not ready for the 18+ year commitment that a child requires, then keep it zipped or use birth control (men AND women)!
     
    Firegirl, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  4. Algert

    Algert Well-Known Member

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    #4
    According to me the best solution is to tell her the truth and leave. This will also make you feel better and start a new life, as you said it is not acceptable to live in a lie ! Anyway this is just my opinion
     
    Algert, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  5. w3bmaster

    w3bmaster Notable Member

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    #5
    I can't uderstand people like you sincerly ....
     
    w3bmaster, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  6. nico_swd

    nico_swd Prominent Member

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    #6
    I agree and disagree at the same time. Sometimes it's easier for the child if the parents split up. Because it's not easy for a child to be always in the middle of fights between the parents. If they don't get along together well, the child will notice that and perhaps suffer from that. Plus, nowadays it's a common thing that parents split up at a younger age. (I'm not saying I'm in favor of that, though.)

    However, it's impossible to give an appropriate answer over a message board without knowing what's happening there.
     
    nico_swd, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  7. Chr1ssst0pher

    Chr1ssst0pher Peon

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    #7
    happiness in love and especially marriage is not only about love, this difficult everyday work on relations and you should think about relations and your love coz even scholars say that love can't last forever from biological and psychological point of view:) so maybe you need a break but maybe relations with that human can't be long-lasting for you. I understand six years and house but is this the most important in your life? and about mortgage, you pay you live, am I right?
     
    Chr1ssst0pher, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  8. EvcRo

    EvcRo Notable Member

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    #8
    The answer to your problem is only in your heart...you know the best...I agree taking a break is the best solution for the beginning...also you may try a renegotiation of your feelings towards your fiancee...you'll may find out you are still loving her:)
     
    EvcRo, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  9. Spider Man

    Spider Man Guest

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    #9
    Mate ... believe me in this world there is no word like love .. !! Its all attraction ... i will suggest you just to forget abt the love and think about the child ... just keep in mind about your child and then decide ...
     
    Spider Man, Feb 25, 2008 IP
  10. MELLA

    MELLA Peon

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    #10
    That's the biggest load of shit I've ever heard. You are obligated to love, support and protect that child, but not live a miserable life just so the child can have an intact family.

    I agree. Don't live a lie. Life is too short to stay and be unhappy. Be a man, and tell her the truth. If my boyfriend didn't love me anymore I would want to know. Not only so I could cut off his cock and shove it down his throat, but also because if I didn't know, that would make my life a lie too.

    I would face up to your feelings, but think very very carefully first because it's a big decision that will obviously change your life forever.
     
    MELLA, Feb 25, 2008 IP