$20 Contest / Design a simple postcard / payment via paypal

Here are my better 2 versions. Feedback appreciated.

 

Another Proposal.

 

I will try again.

Also, i really like Seans text, but (at least on my moniter) the majority of it appears orange...

 

RNHalawi: thanks for the new entry. It is still not heading in the right direction. It's a little too plain.

XsuriahX: I can see some improvement but still your entries are not as competitive as the ones I am considering.

Vo6: I also like Seans text and it also looks orange.

 

I dunno how welcome an opinion is here but speaking with 5 years of print experience, i'd say the design you chose as something well-balanced at least text-wise is probably not the direction to go. If you need something giving impact, you should not be looking at some compact text.

Sorry if im speaking of turn here btw. Just wanted to say it.

Good luck guys I think you have you work cut out!

 

Feedback from DaveyBoy and anyone else is always appreciated. I subscribe to the theory that two brains are better than one. I see your point and at the same time I feel like perhpas because of a mistake by sean (not adding two undeniable facts) makes it more to the point. So my whole philosophy has changed because of his mistake. So perhaps style/balance looks more attractive right now than impact.

 

Hey guys, here's where I am at the moment. Any new entries are welcome but I have decided to choose between the ones below. If you can do better than the ones below please feel free to enter.

ONE MAJOR CHANGE YOU SHOULD ALL NOTICE: because of a mistake in sean design I decided to drop the TWO UNDENIABLE FACTS from the card. Instead, now the main title or the focus should be: IF YOU RUN A FITNESS CLUB and you can continue with the rest of the text.

So the only change in terms of text is please drop the two undeniable facts statement.

Sean: I don't like the background. I prefer a simple red and white theme so the background needs to be red. Yours looks a little orange. Although I like how you positioned the text and it makes it look balanced I still think it can be improved. Perhaps move the whole text down the page?

will, looks good but please get rid of two undeniable facts and replace with If you run a fitness club and then continue with the rest of the text. Please also go for a red and white theme and not burgundy and white. One other thing, perhaps it will look better if the bottom left corner is also fully red, so if you expand the semicircle so that only the bottom right corner where the logo is will be white (the rest of the card to be red). Also the fonts you used for the smaller text don't look fully white to me. They look like they have a shade of grey in them. Can you please change them to fully white? And last change, place the s of the logo on top so that you have the s and underneath it you have super supplements

Watari, it looks good the way it is but please get rid of two undeniable facts and replace with If you run a fitness club and then continue with the rest of the text. What I want is if you can get rid of that silhouette of the bodybuilder. The idea looks great but it's not suitable since not all gyms have bodybuilders. Some are women's gyms. So perhaps replace it with someone exercising or just remove it alltogether. I am not sure how it will look after you remove the two undeniable facts, but my suggestion is to to use a bit more space between the sentences.

To everyone else who participated I just want to say thanks, especially to ALEX and RNHalawi who are competing for the third time and again I have to dissapoint.

Also VO6 Tech, using that silhouette of someone exercising was a great idea. I may use that idea in other projects. it's simple and very effective as it relates to any fitness club.

 

wow! I'm in the top 3! thanks.
anyways, it is late here now, and I have class most of the day tomorrow, but I can make revisions sometime tomorrow afternoon sorry for the long wait, but it is all I can do

 

For anyone thinking of entering or doing the changes, I really love the font that nicogarcia used in the image above. So something similar or identical I think it will look really good. But NOT in black.

I agree willhaynes. Making it in the top 3 beats winning gold at the olympics. I still can't believe you though You've come so far (top 3!!!) and you're thinking about going to school??? Give the school a miss and concentrate on this postcard Anyway, I will wait for your entry since something's tell me you will ignore my advice of ditching school in favour of my postcard.

 

the year: 2080
the new Olympic sport: graphic arts.

anyways, here are my updates, I'm still free for more revisions.

plain text:


shadow text:


a very very very quick background job, if you kinda like it I can try some other things and what not:


I would ask for feedback, but I already know that I'll be getting some . Also, I tried putting the logo on top of the text and it just didn't look very good, at least to me... so I left it on the side.

 

will, thanks for the changes. Here's what I think. I like the first one the best. I prefer just simple, plain wide/bold text without the drop shadow. However, looking at your first design I think you need to space out the lines a little more so you can make it a little easier to read. What I mean by that is now I am reading some sentences instead of statements. So if you used some space, it would be more like a set of statements instead of a set of sentences. Hopefully this makes sense. I think you missed the part with a link where you can download my logo from http://www.sendspace.com/file/eq3tmr since the logo needs to be red not burgundy. And I think I prefer the lighter gray you initially used on that edge of the semicircle. All in all it looks good. I looked at the last one with a different background and it doesn't do it for me because I think it takes the focus away from the statements.

Oh yeah, and in your first design you used a line somewhere. While a simple thing, I reckon that line was breaking the sentences up into statements.

 

oops, my bad, I did miss the logo download...

anyways, here is my updated one:

 

Much, much better will. It's amazing (at least to me) what a difference that underline makes. Let's see what the other two finalists come up with since my mind is not made up, only to say your design looks much better.

 

Hey man I made a quickie real fast tonight. If you want me to tweak anything or what not just let me know.

I have all photoshop files ready to go!

Let me know how you like it

 

Hey rimler, thanks for entering this. The positive: I like how you positioned the text. It looks very neat and easy to read. The negative: I do not like black. I asked to have a red and white only theme and if you were to use other colours they had to be kept to a minimum. If I was to ask for changes, I would suggest keep the text as it is and make it white and change the whole background to red. Also make my logo smaller and make it in white (if you were to use a red background).

With all this being said please note that I already chose 3 finalists. Any new entries are accepted but so I don't waste anyone's time they have to be better than the top three. Please read my post #68

 

Well, nobody can call me a quitter :



Now i think that IS it from me. lol.

 

Davey why do you have to make things harder for me I already have trouble deciding on a winner. The position of the text is really, really good. The fonts you chose are also great. But.........actually I prefer to use the word however. However....I think it's just a touch too plain. I feel like it's missing a small something to make it a winner. perhaps a small round effect, or shape or something. Don't get me wrong, I am not expecting you to keep changing it forever, I am simply providing feedback. If I had to make a decision based on text only I would mostly choose yours. But because I will have to make a decision based on the overall design, I will have to pick another of the top 3 finalists.

 

Changes made!!!

 

No problem! Like i said in my (moany) post yesterday I tend to go for impact over little touches on stuff like this. It's just had the most success for me in the past really. Alas, i'll try to think of something else to add to this if I can before you pick a winner.

Cheers Julian!