Hello all... BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy. GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me… GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me aring?? BOY : Sure, what’s your phone number?? GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY : Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever. BOY : Don’t you ever want to improve?? BOY : I love you and I could die for you! GIRL : How soon?? BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you! GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there?? SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?? TRACY : I did once. He’d forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. MAN : You remind me of the sea. WOMAN : Because I’m wild, romantic and exciting? MAN : NO, because you make me sick. WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other. HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. MARY : John says I’m pretty. Andy says I’m ugly.What do u think, Peter? PETER : A bit of both. I think you’re pretty ugly. Girlfriend : “…And are you sure you love me and no one else ?†Boyfriend : “Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterdayâ€. Teacher : “Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?†Pupil : “The moonâ€. Teacher : “Why?†Pupil : “The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don’t need itâ€. Teacher : “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?†Pupil : “A teacherâ€. Waiter : “Would you like your coffee black?†Customer : “What other colors do you have?†One Liner: My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
I love the hand one. I have heard most of them before but not that one. Nice post. Good to see some comedy coming back to "general chat" joey112
A Guy walks into a store. He sees three brains on display. One is a Libertarian Brain, priced at $250. The second is a Democrat Brain, priced at $275. The third is a Republican Brain, priced at $5,000,000. The guy asks the sales clerk, "why does the Republican brain cost so much more than the other two?"The clerk replies, "well, sir, that brain has never been used."