Hi everyone, I need help. I am not a writer, but I did write the copy for my wife's web site and I do not like it. It doesn't appeal to me, or more importantly, sell. Would anyone be willing to take a look and give some pointers how how I can make the home page more sales-oriented, yet still be elegant (that is if you'd consider what's there now to be elegant). The site is www.flortiste.com Any help you can offer would be much appreciated. Thank you!
I'm saying this in the nicest way possible, and it's just my opinion, could be wrong, but I really think you need a redesign on that site. I also think with ecommerce you shouldn't try too hard to sell with copy, let the products sell themselves. If you want to sell flowers, 1800flowers.com is a good example of a site that's sold a ton of them. Good luck, Scott
LOL .. thanks Scott. The site is not completed yet, I still have plenty of work to do. Re: copy vs. product selling - what you're saying doesn't necessarily work in all situations, as the site does not sell flowers per say - it sells a monthly delivery service that happens to deliver flowers and the concept does need to be explained.
It needs to be renovated, you need to redesign the layout and coloring. Then we'll work on how to attract. Jim
The site needs to be refurbished and smarten up. The outlook of the site is so pale, that a visitor wont stay for more than a minute. As we say, first impression is the last impression, the outlook needs to be changed and then only will the sales copy be able to do its work. Then, we can discuss on the sales copy and how to get profitable leads out of it.
Let me be frank enough with you. Your site is completely unprofessional. Perhaps you did not conceptualize it with a vision. Content is extremely primitive and needs fresh inputs.I would not even suggest a re-writing.If you are just a beginer and trying to test your website skills, you may think to work har further on many corners. But in case you want to have an ecommerce site, you better take help of professionals. I do not hope that you will be able to handle every aspect of it single handedly.
For a florist site, the layout is pretty colorless. Once you have the layout all figured out, maybe you could think of enhancing the content. It would be hard to be inspired looking at a screen that's all gray and pale!
At first glance, I noticed a few run on sentences, etc. In fact, some paragraphs are just one long sentence. Try to shorten up your words a bit, while also making the copy "flow" better.
I completely agree with Rayaan; when I think of florists, I definitely do not think pale grey. You want your site to illustrate the personality of your business. I understand that it IS a business, and therefore you want it looking sleek and professional, but for such a creative and lively idea the site falls flat. As for the copy, just keep in mind that people scan text these days, especially when they're not going to a site to read, but rather to find out these three things, in your case: 1) What products do you offer, 2) How much does it cost, and 3) How quickly can they arrive. If you touch on these things, even without using actual numbers so that visitors are encouraged to click around and find out the figures, then you'll draw more business in. People want things cheaply and quickly, and if you can throw in a quality guarantee, that's all you need to say on that home page. Add LOTS of images! It's a flower service!
Some quick suggestions: Give a tag line under your site name. Give your site a purpose clearly to your visitors. You only have a few seconds before they click away. The page is too wide on both IE and firefox. You'd need help with SEO if you want google love.
Hi, I think you should use a longer sales copy for this kind of website as well as a good appealing headline. For $97 we can get you a good professional sales copy suitable for that kind of business. Let me know if you're intersted (via PM). Lior Reuveni Smiley Marketing Marketing That Will Put A Smile On Your Face.