Hi guys and girls. Let me introduce myself, my name is Nick Brighton and I live in the UK. My career has involved roles in the advertising/publishing/print industries in general, but I actually work online for my main source of income. I have been a bystander to this forum for a while now, I am not always posting...but will be as I free up more time! I love writing, particularly copywriting. Before I made this post, I was unsure as to whether it would be good etiquete to ask for some serious critique right from the word go. Why do I need it? Quite simply, I dont imagine that I know all there is to know...however I do know that I need the help of the focused individuals that drive this forum. I also know that I am liable for writing crap - similiar to this post. Therefore, I would greatly appreciate some positive feedback as to my website. I appreciate I am new here, but please don't go too harshly. I am getting alot of traffic to this site, but need to make sure it converts, so here is the lowdown... The actual page in question is a sales page, but I am aiming for a more article style, downplayed approach instead of the usual hype. The webpage in question aims at writing great article headlines. It emphasizes on the importance of great headlines and the difference a great headline can make. The website can be found at here : whatsmyniche.com/HypnoticHeadlines I know it is crude to dive in with a request, but I can assure you that I am here to stay guys! Therefore, I am here to give! Please could you let me know what you think of the copy flow, the persuasion, the relevence or just any thoughts in general would be fantastic! Once again, Many thanks and it's great to be getting invloved (even though I am jumping in with a request)! All the best, Nick Brighton
I'm just going to nitpick. Stick to a style. In the opening you say: 5 minutes and five minutes Pick a style and stay consistent. I didn't read the rest, because I don't have time right now. With the title, I'm guessing it's a Joe Vitale type thing. Good luck with it!
To be honest, I don't really think that this letter would attract me at all! The same old stuff and then you are introduced to the buy this button. No thanks!
I know for a fact that I may be mistaken, so I can't be held liable for damages resulting from the following suggestions: Â I think the actual benefits of the product should initially constitute the first portions of the sales copy - cough up your big guns even before readers have enough time to think that the copy's just too long for comfort. On the other hand, "everything else" can perhaps be crammed down to a more manageable, or even readable, portion of the entire copy - I suggest you keep it short and simple, or as concise as possible. Humor is good, yes, but only if properly used - match the humor with your target audience. In case the style you used matches your consumer market - good for you, but I suggest use it rather as sparingly as possible. I think minimal humor or light entertainment should just be the type of humor integrated on straight up informative content when it comes to sales copies, you know. This is my approach when it comes to writing sales copies - I believe direct and easy-to-understand information should come first before "everything else", and the sales pitch shouldn't be confused with largely informal tones. I keep it short, simple, direct to the point, informative, and I disguise humor behind straight up additional information on further benefits. I hope this helps you in some way. Thanks. Good luck.
Nice try but can you make it bit smaller. No one is going to read so much just make it shorter. A suggestion only
That's actually not true. "No one" is such a strong word. Plenty will read IF it gets their attention. However, the WWII generation sales letters need to take a hike.
Have to say that's one of the more clever pitches on the DP forums, too bad it's a swing and a miss. I hope time proves out that I am judging you harshly.
I actually like the structure but found the opening part (the dear fellow marketers section) to be too wordy and I kind of got lost in the words. You might want to try to breaking up your opener a little more into smaller chunks. Most people will first scan the product before they consider buying.