Joke ( 18+) : Calories burnt for various sexual tasks

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent....................... 12 Calories
Without her consent.................... 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories
With your teeth through her shirt.....108 Calories

PUTTING ON THE CONDOM:
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary..................................... 12 Calories
69 lying down............................... 78 Calories
69 standing up............................. 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow................................ 216 Calories
Doggy Style............................ .....326 Calories
Italian chandelier. (just look it up).. 912 Calories

ORGASMING:
Real................................... 112 Calories
False.................................. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over......................... Results are still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories

 

LOL! are they true? lol

 

LOL...
funny joke!

 

hahaha!!! that's not a joke... it happens in real life.

 

lol good one!

 

Thats was funny one and I want save some Calories to avoid some action.

 

i aggree

 

thats class now i know why im skinny

 

Lol, i looked up Italian chandelier, all the results say the definitoin includes " a good way to lose calories"

 

old one but still funny

 

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories


This is really funny , lol

 

Too funny...perhaps you ought to publish it as a new fad diet.

 

This should be a new diet program.

 

Informative ?!@#$%

 

Woww..no wonder porn stars are skinny.