Am I a bad mother?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by dawggone, May 17, 2007.

  1. Colbyt

    Colbyt Notable Member

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    #21
    I can't see the hill in question but I will say "not a bad mother".

    The grade of the hill and the experience of the biker can then addressed in terms of reasonable risk or not. I will summarize with these points:


    Hindsight is always 20-20.
    Kids have to experience a certain number of bumps and bruises to grow up.
    Any experience that does not kill or maim teaches a reasonable person something.
    This is hurting you more today than him.

    And mainly just be thankful that the worst of it was a few loose teeth.

    Sign me as a 3 time empty nester.
     
    Colbyt, May 17, 2007 IP
  2. livingearth

    livingearth Well-Known Member

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    #22
    Let me get this right, he was playing outside. You can't put kids in protective gear all the time. Even if you did they would grow up only to get beat up for being the kid who wore a helmut all the time. Falling down is how you learn not to run to hard or down hills. This may be one of the small accidents that save his life later by teaching him self restraint. You can actually harm a child more in the long run by protecting them from lifes little lessons...
     
    livingearth, May 17, 2007 IP
  3. anthonyn

    anthonyn Well-Known Member

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    #23
    I would begin by saying that as a parent, we can teach good habits and descipline in the first five years of a child. I hope you got the point.

    Secondly, we all learn by mistakes and we need to be positive oriented in life.
     
    anthonyn, May 17, 2007 IP
  4. dawggone

    dawggone Peon

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    #24
    Thanks so much to everyone! I can't believe how many people posted!

    For the record, he was wearing his helmet but worst injuries were to his face and there isn't anything you can do about that.

    Also, of course hindsight is 20/20 but it wasn't so much the hill that was the problem as his attempting to stop at the bottom and not being experienced enough with his brakes to know when to let off. This has definitely been a learning experience for us all!

    He went to school yesterday and was made much of by teachers and kids and today he said he is feeling pretty good. And he took a reading test first thing and scored at the top of the class so I guess we stop worrying about brain injury!

    Last night he lost one of his teeth but it is a baby one that he would have lost fairly soon anyway. Poor kid swallowed it though and was very worried about the tooth fairy. We wrote her a note and she honored it though.
     
    dawggone, May 18, 2007 IP
  5. iatbm

    iatbm Prominent Member

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    #25
    I had many crashes like this and today there is nothing wrong with me and I think that my mother is the best mother of all ;) So no you are not bad mother ... kids are just playing ... sometimes it gets rough but he will survive and will be more careful next time for sure !
     
    iatbm, May 18, 2007 IP
  6. Baskat

    Baskat Peon

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    #26
    A lot of other people say it was just bad luck, or bad judgement, or whatever, I think you did the right thing.

    As parents, we tend to be overprotective at times, but by being so, we unintentionally put limitations on their learning. Console him for his injuries, praise him for his efforts, and support him in trying it again. It will build his self-esteem and encourage him to take risks (calculated risks) that may provide a reward for a job well done (Showing him your pride and praising him is the best reward!).

    Like they say, if you fall off your bike, just get back on and try again... or you'll never learn to ride.

    Perhaps he could try it from halfway up the hill (with you monitoring him), then slowly move up the hill till he can control the descent and make it all the way down. It will show him that you care about him and that you support him in his efforts.

    And finally, don't forget... boys will be boys!
     
    Baskat, May 18, 2007 IP
  7. dawggone

    dawggone Peon

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    #27
    dawggone, May 18, 2007 IP
  8. BigBadWolf

    BigBadWolf Well-Known Member

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    #28
    Reminds me of my teenage years! lol
     
    BigBadWolf, May 18, 2007 IP
  9. Blogmaster

    Blogmaster Blood Type Dating Affiliate Manager

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    #29
    No, I don't believe that you are. When I was 10, I had a bad skiing accident, 2 surgeries, iron plate all that crap and I still play soccer with the left foot to this day, since a kick on the wrong spot of my right leg could cause me to scream like I'm about to die.
    After the accident my whole family blamed my mom for not being cautious, and she could have done a lot more to help prevent this from happening (main reason was that the ski didn't open, because snow was in between the boot and the ski).

    But I don't blame her for that. I know she didn't know any better, and that is how life is. We live and learn. Out of bad comes good. Your kid will probably be a safety instructor some day, who knows. Things happen for a reason, whether you recognize the reason now or not. :)
     
    Blogmaster, May 18, 2007 IP
  10. mmurtha

    mmurtha Peon

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    #30
    Hey dawggone,

    I am sorry to hear about your son's acident, but just because he had one and got hurt doesn't necessarily mean you are a bad mom.

    The truth is, that your son is like any other kid. Kids have a tendancy to be daredevils because they don't know their limits yet, nor do they have as much to be afraid of like us adults lol.

    When I first read your post, I started to chuckle because I was remembering some of the things we did when we were kids. Like riding a red radial flyer down concret steps to the apt buildings laundry room, or riding one of those texico fire trucks down our hilly street into a busy intersection. We use to have a blast doing that, and if my mom ever found that out we would have been dead on site.

    Yes true, we got away with some things I wouldn't even thing about doing now or let my kids do it.

    Whether we grant kids permission to do something or not, eventually they will attempt what they will. It's a fact, and even the best upbringing doesn't change it. They all have to learn whether we're ready for it or not right? ;)

    Bad mom? Not a chance kid!

    Hope the both of you recover soon.


    Mary
     
    mmurtha, May 18, 2007 IP
  11. Colbyt

    Colbyt Notable Member

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    #31
    My worst bike spill ever occurred on loose gravel over a flat roadbed after riding a bike for over 6 years. I was 12 or 13 at the time. The same spill now at my current age would kill me for sure. So I suspect you may have a few more mis-advetures to look forward to.

    Tell him he looks like Rocky after the fight and watch him enjoy it.

    If hand brakes were involved in this incidence do stress the importance of using both the front and rear with slightly more pressure on the rear.
     
    Colbyt, May 18, 2007 IP
  12. dawggone

    dawggone Peon

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    #32
    I remember those gravel wipeouts well! :eek: There are some childhood memories I'd just as soon not think about...

    And you are right about the daredevil aspect of childhood. I sprained my ankle (and fortunate that was all) by jumping out of the rafters of my uncle's barn and hitting the bare floor. I was supposed to hit a pile of hay :eek: And my cousin really did put his eye out with a b-b gun just like all the mothers think will happen. (same farm...)
     
    dawggone, May 18, 2007 IP
  13. SticKer

    SticKer Well-Known Member

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    #33
    mistake do happen, we learn from our mistakes so dont worry
     
    SticKer, May 18, 2007 IP
  14. senaia

    senaia Well-Known Member

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    #34
    Well, to be honest it was your mistake, hills are not good when we have a BIKE and a 6 year old kid.

    Of course, he would love to do it but he's a kid, what does he know !?

    My father never bought me a bike. The house was next to the high way :(

    I really hated it when I was a kid but now im 27 years old and I understand why he never bought that bike.

    My point is, you should make decisions for him now and im sure he will hate most it but he will UNDERSTAND when he become's an adult.
     
    senaia, May 18, 2007 IP
  15. Stax_Daniel

    Stax_Daniel Guest

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    #35
    Kids are Kids...they have to make there own mistakes...and that's one of the joys of childhood...being a child...

    letting your child play in traffic is totally different than letting him ride down a hill...
     
    Stax_Daniel, May 18, 2007 IP
  16. senaia

    senaia Well-Known Member

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    #36
    I was giving my personal story here. I didn't say take the bike away from the kid but keep him on sight all the time. Take him to the park once or twice a week.

    Still wana go back and burn that high way :D
     
    senaia, May 18, 2007 IP
  17. profits

    profits Guest

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    #37
    Kids will be kids, it's part of growing up.
     
    profits, May 18, 2007 IP