An Indian school boy wrote this essay for his history class.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by kamchatka, Mar 21, 2007.

  1. #1
    The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who
    lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Daro. These cities had
    the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from
    them Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from
    son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called
    mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says
    that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our
    incestors.

    In olden times there were two big families in India. One was called
    the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst
    themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be
    known as MeraBharat Mahan.

    In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named
    because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted
    their capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed
    by the Mowglis. The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished
    himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. But his son
    Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300
    porcupines. Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had
    not been invented at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for
    his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all his sons away to
    distant parts of India because they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was
    sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J & K, while Orangezip
    came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However,after that they changed its
    name to Mumbai because Shivaji’s sena did not like it. They also do not
    like New Delhi, so they are calling it Door Darshan.

    After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was
    circumcising India with a 100 foot clipper. Then came the British. They
    brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and
    steamed railways. They were followed by the French who brought in
    French fries, pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when
    he deafened Duplex who was out membered since the British had the queen
    on their side.

    Eventually, the British came to overrule India because there was too
    much diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long
    period.They were great expotents and impotents. They started expoting
    salt from India and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma
    Gandhi who wanted to produce his own salt. This was called the Swedish
    moment. During this moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the
    street and refused to wear anything else. The British became very angry
    at this and stopped the production of Indian testiles.

    In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he
    became the father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India
    moment, so named because the British were quietly lootoing our country.
    In 1947, India became free and its people became freely loving. This
    increased our population. Its government became a limited mockery,
    which means people are allowed to take the law in their own hands with
    the help of the police. Our constipation is the best in the world
    because it says that no man can be hanged twice for the same crime. It
    also says you cannot be put in prison if you have not paid your taxis.
    Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be
    changed. This is not possible with the British constipation because it
    is not written on paper.

    The Indian parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower and higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe said that two houses divided against itself cannot withstand. So Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British were afraid of the dark. At midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag. Recently in India, there have been a large number of scams and a plaque,it can be dangerous because many people died of this plaque in Surat. Scams are all over India. One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything to eat by their elected leader. The other
    scam was in Bofor which is a small town in Switzerland.In this, a lot
    of Indian money was given to buy a gun which can shoot a coot.

    Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties,
    left,right and centre. It has started to library the economy. This
    means that there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be
    driven by itself.

    India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers
    are being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark
    meeting at Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share
    their poverty, pollution and population.
     
    kamchatka, Mar 21, 2007 IP
  2. AndrewD

    AndrewD Peon

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    #2
    I rate it 3/10. Thoughts seem scattered and I am definitely not impressed with his transitions. Doesn't even know when to start new paragraphs!

    The writer seems like he dropped acid and wrote the essay while simultaneously switching his focus between a persian rug and a poorly developed documentary on how to incorrectly spell words related to Indian heritage and politics.

    Sounds like a something a young Indian school boy would write.

    <3 just kiddin'
     
    AndrewD, Mar 21, 2007 IP
  3. browntwn

    browntwn Illustrious Member

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    #3
    What is the point of posting this meaningless nonsense?

    "A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology"

    Seriously, what is this supposed to be? I stopped reading after it was clear it was just gibberish.



    I am just not sure who is dumber, the one who wrote this drivel or the one who posted it on DP?
     
    browntwn, Mar 21, 2007 IP
  4. kamchatka

    kamchatka Guest

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    #4
    Indians will understand the post. Some body must be dumb not to understand the drivel. The essay writer completely blew it, he spelled wrong, juxtaposed historical events, names and places.

    Unless you know about Indian history, you won't understand it or see the humor.

     
    kamchatka, Mar 22, 2007 IP
  5. bochgoch

    bochgoch Peon

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    #5
    ...I'd love a tramtart, don't know what it is but it sounds great!
     
    bochgoch, Mar 22, 2007 IP
  6. sachin410

    sachin410 Illustrious Member

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    #6
    I looks to me, more like a work of a skilled writer who has too much time, than an essay by a school boy.

    What's the source of this article?
     
    sachin410, Mar 22, 2007 IP
  7. getjimmy

    getjimmy Prominent Member

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    #7
    Really long letter,can anyone rewrite in 10-15 lines.
     
    getjimmy, Mar 22, 2007 IP
  8. uttoransen

    uttoransen Prominent Member

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    #8
    wrong category, go to the buy sell section and post it, i guess some one will do that in cheap rates. content writing......lol:D
    anyways, i read a few lines, and it's pretty nice. i will go through it again! cheers!:)
     
    uttoransen, Mar 22, 2007 IP
  9. browntwn

    browntwn Illustrious Member

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    #9
    Skilled writer, I would not go that far. Clearly, it was not a school essay, it was an intentionally written 'spoof'

    I just thought the essay itself was lame and not even that well done or original. It was the posting here on DP as some school boy essay, when it was not, that made it even worse.

    I guess some people are more easily amused that I am.

     
    browntwn, Mar 22, 2007 IP