It's clear we could never reach an accord on this matter. I'm not trying to change yours or anyone else's opinion, merely explaining how I approached the situation. Believe me when I say 'never in anger' as far as I was concerned. Hadn't quite looked at it that way although I must ask how this sits with your martial arts? Isn't there a conflict? Sadly, as a species, I often think we are un-evolving rather than evolving.
McFox, I wasn't questioning that, and believe you. I was responding to your thought: -because, as I said, I don't. No, not at all. Hitting one's child to "teach" them to comply with a given parental rule - say, "do your homework, or else"...is teaching that child that when persuasion doesn't work to get someone to do something you want them to do, smack them. Lousy lesson, in my opinion. This is utterly different from what I teach: if someone wishes to do harm, act appropriately, do what is necessary to protect one's self. Protect oneself - not open a can of whoopass on someone because they didn't do what you want. Therefore, as I see it, no conflict whatsoever; more, in fact, it is the fulfillment of what I teach - self-defense, respect, and sanctity of one's self - and other selves.
I strongly believe in the '1-2-3 rule' it even works on my bulldogs. Its a shame that we cant even discipline are children anymore. I never would had disrespect my parents the way children do it now.
Must discipline be achieved by means of violence? I know so many respectful, well-behaved, awesome children, including mine - and not one of them was raised with the prospect of being hit. Quite the opposite.
Actually, i was only slap once and got the belt on the tail once at age 14. But learning to respect your parents as you mention is something that a lot of parent don't have the skills. They only know what they where taught as a child..since you can't discipline your child by belts or slaps on the tail its call abuse these days and you usually have to pay the consequences. How do parents learn these skills?
I am the last guy to claim any expert status. Our best guide is to remember, above all else, our boy is just that - he's a kid. He's small. We want him to grow up respecting himself, and respecting others.
If you just tell them not to do what they did wrong they will still do it. If you slap them then he/she will know that if he does it again he will get slaped again and wont do it. If it didnt work parents wouldnt do it. - Prilep
So, let me understand this - between simply saying "don't do X" and violence on your kid, there is a yawning chasm - that about right? No tools available to the presumably thinking, feeling, experienced individual called "parent" between an inept "uh, don't do that" and "SMACK!"? I'm not trying to be an ass. I find it astounding that something like this is treated so blithely. I'm 6' 3", well over 200 pounds. My boy is a squirt, if a growing one. Were I to raise my hand to him, I'd be committing a crime, in my book. It isn't nothing. It's violence on a child. There are other ways to teach.
We all have our own opinions. I was raised being hit i mean like if i did somethign wrong my parents will just hit me and thats how i learned not to do it anymore. Over here in (Macedonia) we used to get hit in school if we didnt do for example homework. And then you see the next day everyone has homework. In the US your not allowed to hit in the schools but thats why most of the people carry knives, dont go to classes, curse at teachers etc. Over here the laws have changed now your not allowed to hit students any more, but some still do it. - Prilep
There are still a few cultures that uses hitting as a part of child raising. These cultures are not very "sophisticated". Please note that the more educated a community is, the less violence there are in the community.
With respect, Prilep, I couldn't disagree more. You honestly believe: ? Trust me - the kids carrying knives in school are not dissuaded from violence by a kick in the ass, or a punch in the face. I know, as I have worked with them, as my wife does now. These kids come from homes where violence was the method; where gang membership, with all its attendant violence, beats out the violence lived out at home; and on and on. My wife works for an organization where kids are taken away from "parents," who apparently didn't understand the difference between a football and a child's head; these kids themselves are radically, utterly violent and I sadly hold little hope for their future or, sadly again, their childrens' futures. I find the notion "a good slap is all that's needed" as simplistic as any other like notion. Again, it's a more difficult road, but to parent by other means is the only road, in my opinion. Our children didn't ask to be born - we brought them into the world. We can teach them, or we can hit them. But they will learn regardless.
I agree, there are far more effective ways. Problem is that a lot of parents just snap. Parents need more discipline than kids.,
Lets see if you curse at a teacher and she/he hits you hard with a stick on the hand i dont think he/she will do it again. Thats all im trying to say. - Prilep Offtopic: Holy shoot BLOGMASTER you almost have 19 k posts!!! Wow man thats alot.
wow I've never heard this before. In a case like this, they should look at parental control, not race.